🐈
» Forums » Coffee Break » Re: And the award for client with the most un...
Page options
flrgx
Community Member

And the award for client with the most unrealistic expectations goes to...

**Edited for Community Guidelines**

 

"Looking for serious freelancers only!
Thinking long term not short!

Looking for those that can take raw footage and bring to life! Following our requirements.

Each video complete will be getting paid $10"

 

Talk about wanting a champagne service on a beer budget!

 

Basically, they want you to be a superstar, but you need to be paid dirt.

15 REPLIES 15
2f5ff562
Community Member

Take a look at this guy:

1- We are working on a 3D model animation project and we are looking for a professional 3D Animator to work on it.
2- Briefly, the project is about a 3D fitness model shown inside a mobile application and the user can tap on any part of its body to show the exercises needed for this part.
3- A video attached to show a sample of a same application of what we are developing now (iMuscle.mp4).
4- A preview of our 3D model that needs to be animated is attached (b7-3d-model-final.mp4).
5- The 3D model is designed and prepared to be used in Marmoset.
6- The 3D model is already rigged and ready to be animated.
7- No facial animation is required.
8- The final output video for each exercise should show the model in its full textures, suit folds, rendering, shading, and lighting that are shown in the image attached.
9- The final output video for each exercise should have the suit folds (example attached in b7-3d-model-suit-fold.jpg) get stretched and folded according to the exercise motion.
10- The final output video for each exercise should appear very realistic and the motion should be very smoothly.

Terms & Conditions:
1- First, we will need to see 2 videos as a sample, if we approved them, then the designer can continue to work on the rest of the videos.
2- We need the designer to deliver at least 45 per week.
3- If we didn't approve the 2 sample videos and we decided to close the job, WE WILL NOT BE GOING TO PAY FOR THE WORK DONE WE WILL ASK FOR FULL REFUND.
4- After finishing and approving all the videos, the designer should send all the source files plus the videos all together in one downloadable link.

Is it just me or the quality of the job`s have dramatically decreased? 

Jesús, that joke of a RFP just won the internet's award for best NEVER WORK WITH BUYER.


Jesús Mateo R wrote:

Take a look at this guy:

1- We are working on a 3D model animation project and we are looking for a professional 3D Animator to work on it.
2- Briefly, the project is about a 3D fitness model shown inside a mobile application and the user can tap on any part of its body to show the exercises needed for this part.
3- A video attached to show a sample of a same application of what we are developing now (iMuscle.mp4).
4- A preview of our 3D model that needs to be animated is attached (b7-3d-model-final.mp4).
5- The 3D model is designed and prepared to be used in Marmoset.
6- The 3D model is already rigged and ready to be animated.
7- No facial animation is required.
8- The final output video for each exercise should show the model in its full textures, suit folds, rendering, shading, and lighting that are shown in the image attached.
9- The final output video for each exercise should have the suit folds (example attached in b7-3d-model-suit-fold.jpg) get stretched and folded according to the exercise motion.
10- The final output video for each exercise should appear very realistic and the motion should be very smoothly.

Terms & Conditions:
1- First, we will need to see 2 videos as a sample, if we approved them, then the designer can continue to work on the rest of the videos.
2- We need the designer to deliver at least 45 per week.
3- If we didn't approve the 2 sample videos and we decided to close the job, WE WILL NOT BE GOING TO PAY FOR THE WORK DONE WE WILL ASK FOR FULL REFUND.
4- After finishing and approving all the videos, the designer should send all the source files plus the videos all together in one downloadable link.


If we decided to close the job WE WILL SEND A LARGE, MEAN PERSON TO YOUR HOUSE AND HE WILL BEAT YOU WITH A SLIMY CUDGEL UNTIL YOU CRY.

 

For some reason, that whole thing puts me in mind of Monty Python sketches.

Thats nuts
yitwail
Community Member

2- We need the designer to deliver at least 45 per week.

Cat Tongue Man Tongue Robot tongue Smiley Tongue Woman Tongue

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce


John K wrote:
2- We need the designer to deliver at least 45 per week.

Cat Tongue Man Tongue Robot tongue Smiley Tongue Woman Tongue


I noticed that one. That element could elevate this posting from simply over-the-top to physically impossible. 🙂

flrgx
Community Member

I wonder if threatening to beat the freelancer if they don't refund is within the TOS.


Jesús Mateo R wrote:

Take a look at this guy:


Terms & Conditions:
1- First, we will need to see 2 videos as a sample, if we approved them, then the designer can continue to work on the rest of the videos.
2- We need the designer to deliver at least 45 per week.
3- If we didn't approve the 2 sample videos and we decided to close the job, WE WILL NOT BE GOING TO PAY FOR THE WORK DONE WE WILL ASK FOR FULL REFUND.
4- After finishing and approving all the videos, the designer should send all the source files plus the videos all together in one downloadable link.


This client is a complete work of art. 

I just noticed something. Condition 1 and Condition 3, when taken together, are a ToS violation. Essentially, they're asking for free samples, because they're refusing to pay if they don't approve your initial work. It was at least a little satisfying to flag it.

But I wish that UpWork had some sort of sanity alert mechanism. It would be nice if they could arrange for flashing yellow lights and air horn sound effects on clients' computers when they post things like that. I think it would be a good thing to get the development team busy with something more useful than the flaming alert that's been happening on the FL search.  



luce-neidert
Community Member

Hummm... I had not seen all the answers to this post, I prefer to delete mine.

A lot of this veers into the realm of fantasy.

 

Thinking about it objectively:

I will admit that that IT WOULD BE VERY COOL if some of these ideas could actually work.

 

What if I could write a short script outlining my science fiction epic... and then pay somebody on Upwork $20 to create a complete, high-quality CGI-generated film of that?

 

How awesome would that be?

 

Or what if I could jot down my notes about my industry-killing app, and get that made for $30 on Upwork?

 

Cool!

 

But it's impossible.

It can't be done using Upwork. Not with experts. Not with desperate newbies from some far-off land where houses cost five dollars. Not with any kind of freelancer. And it can't be done on any other platform.

 

There are a LOT of ways to save some serious money using Upwork. But at a certain point, clients are really wasting their time, and the only thing they could possibly hope to obtain from some of their ridiculous job postings is unusable drivel.

One just popped today which I got a huge kick out of for many reasons. "Bid low to show us how good you are" and writing "tips" are a few of my favorites. Thought I'd share:

---------------------

 

 

GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY: 
If you are very experienced and looking for 180-200 hrs a month job for 10+ month
====
NO companies NO salesmen NO unreal picture of woman profile...
ONLY professional developers
======

Please answer (we verify):

1. How many years have you worked in companies (not as a freelancer)
2. Grade your Android expertise (1-10 best)
3. Grade your iOS expertise (1-10 best)
4. List top 2-4 apps that YOU build from scratch and that the owner will verify it
5. Can you work 50 hours a week?
6. Grade your design expertise (1-10 best)
7. What else do you want to tell us about you?
8. Grade your Firebase expertise (1-10 best)
9. Are you working alone from home or working with an agency or representing a company?

=================
Bid low to show us how good you are 
We recommend: $3 to $7 per hrs for this 180-200 hrs a month job
=========
IMPORTANT: we pay attention to details and you must write properly: 
> Start sentences with a capital letter
> Refer to yourself as "I" with a capital letter
> Leave a space AFTER the "." or "," and not before
> No capital letters in the middle of the sentence

I thought the "No Women" part was funny.

I hope that no woman would want to apply to work for those people.


Preston H wrote:

I thought the "No Women" part was funny.

I hope that no woman would want to apply to work for those people.


That was funny but it was no fake pictures of women to be fair (as opposed to no women which would not be funny). No it doesn't belong in a post at all, but we've all seen the profiles that the poster is referring to. 

Anonymous-User
Not applicable

> No capital letters in the middle of the sentence

What if the sentence is "I will not work for this Client because his post is silly." ??

Latest Articles
Learning Paths