Crazy Job Postings Part II

[#1]

Most of you already know the drill here, but if not........

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

[#2]

Saw a job posting the other day for, I think, editing (maybe ghostwriting) a book but it was kinda hard to tell. The poster was writing a book about their experiences in heaven, as they had apparently died previously and spent a few weeks there, and was offering a minuscule budget, however, the freelancer would be divinely blessed were they to get this job, so win-win. 

Edit: Replied in the wrong place, oh well!

[#3]

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Laura M wrote:

Saw a job posting the other day for, I think, editing (maybe ghostwriting) a book but it was kinda hard to tell. The poster was writing a book about their experiences in heaven, as they had apparently died previously and spent a few weeks there, and was offering a minuscule budget, however, the freelancer would be divinely blessed were they to get this job, so win-win. 

Edit: Replied in the wrong place, oh well!

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______________________________

The one time when ghostwriting would be entirely appropriate. 

[#4]

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Wendy C wrote:

@ Ray C.,

Just because a client lists a $ 10 or $100 budget, if the job and you are worth more, the solution is educate the client.  Just like in the B&M world.

There are designers on site who are charging and earning professional rates.  Just like there are writers, programmers, etc. charging and earning professional rates. 

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I'm all for educating people on the real cost of an expert in any field, but I don't have time nor do I care to waste connects (honestly less about the connects and more about the time to prepare a proposal and then go back and forth with the client) to try and convince them that something is worth a great deal more than $5. Just for myself, personally, I find enough jobs from quality clients and have enough work (on UpWork and my own long-term clients) that if I'm going to "educate" clients, then they need to pay my hourly rate for that mentorship. 

But by all means, if it works for you, take the chance and bid on the $5 or $10 job and see if you can convince the client it's worth more. If something is working for you then keep it up. 

[#5]

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Ravindra B wrote:

Holy cow!

“wallcome my frist post.....”

Client is from the US.

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He wrote the post while he was driving and almost got into a 4 car pile up on the freeway. Give the guy a break, Ravindra! You're supposed to be reading his mind anyway! Just wallcome his frist post and fon't jeek hin qaoting! Girty! 

[#6]

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Ray C wrote:

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Ravindra B wrote:

Holy cow!

“wallcome my frist post.....”

Client is from the US.

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He wrote the post while he was driving and almost got into a 4 car pile up on the freeway. Give the guy a break, Ravindra! You're supposed to be reading his mind anyway! Just wallcome his frist post and fon't jeek hin qaoting! Girty! 

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Haha!

[#7]

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Tiffany S wrote:

Sounds like maybe you haven't used Upwork as a client. It's not unusual to start a job as a public posting then change it.

No, I haven't used as a client, I didn't know it was possible to change it that way. So I was wondering why Upwork had sent that one to me by e-mail as I was a good match for it while I was deprived of applying. What you say makes perfect sense.

[#8]

It's not really a crazy job post but I need some place to vent. It's past midnight and I got an invite. I'm about to answer when my toddler is having a bad dream. Five minutes later I'm back at pc from coziness of my bed and trying to answer to something I don't quite follow. So I'm explaining this in q, and there are four q, and I was hoping just to respond with super short sentence to that invite, but I kept on writing about how I need clarification about this job post. Once I clicked send I'm informed that something is wrong. Job is closed. And it was opened just an hour ago.

On the other side, other jobs I apply to or get invited are open for ages and client never  respond/hires anyone.  I'm so ughhhh now.

[#9]

Machines are learning English directly "from da streets" and they can't wait to graduate from beta mode before posting jobs.  Can't say no more yo... cos the rules... if you know what I'm sayin.

[#10]

At first it may seem like every job posting on the translation/writing field. But this is not.

Not only the client is willing to pay 1$ for 1000 words proofread (if you are not in the field, this is 1/10th of the lowest rate in the lowest linguistic combination). But they sent out 13000 invites too. And in another job posting they sent out 16000. Obviously they hired like 30 people per post.
Basically they are exploiting Upwork flaws to leave 2-3 job postings open and they keep using those, so their 94% hiring rate won't ever go down.

**Edited for community guidelines**

[#11]

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Roberto S wrote:

At first it may seem like every job posting on the translation/writing field. But this is not.

Not only the client is willing to pay 1$ for 1000 words proofread (if you are not in the field, this is 1/10th of the lowest rate in the lowest linguistic combination). But they sent out 13000 invites too. And in another job posting they sent out 16000. Obviously they hired like 30 people per post.
Basically they are exploiting Upwork flaws to leave 2-3 job postings open and they keep using those, so their 94% hiring rate won't ever go down.

**Edited for community guidelines**

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You also need 6 connects because it is a 10K job.

[#12]

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Jennifer R wrote:

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Roberto S wrote:

At first it may seem like every job posting on the translation/writing field. But this is not.

Not only the client is willing to pay 1$ for 1000 words proofread (if you are not in the field, this is 1/10th of the lowest rate in the lowest linguistic combination). But they sent out 13000 invites too. And in another job posting they sent out 16000. Obviously they hired like 30 people per post.
Basically they are exploiting Upwork flaws to leave 2-3 job postings open and they keep using those, so their 94% hiring rate won't ever go down.

**Edited for community guidelines**

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You also need 6 connects because it is a 10K job.

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It seems even horses need their photos touched up!

**edited for Community Guidelines**

[#13]

I haven't seen any posts to this thread lately, but it's one of my favorites so I'll give it a little boost.

Anyone else think it's totally ridiculous when a client that says they are a marketing strategy firm posts a job listing to have someone create a new marketing strategy for their company? I guess it's like the shoemaker's children going without shoes? Doesn't inspire much confidence in their abilities in any case!

[#14]

I applied for an offer to write a tourist book of 200 pages about my city. The job offer was a little bit vague but I applied anyway and asked for details. Then, I received a message with a link to a drive document with all the guidelines. At the end of the document it was written that after I write the book I could buy it (printed) with a good discount in case I wanted to place a large order to sell the book.

After I read the document I asked for clarification and then the client told me that this was an initiative to help people to write their own book and that he would pay me $20 do write it and then I could buy the books and sell them to start a career as a writer. This all was written in a way like they were doing me a huge favor and giving me the opportunity of my life.

[#15]

I was tempted to bid for an adult website one last night, but then realized I have to work through incognito browser to avoid messing up my cookies. Also, not sure how it will fare on my history. 

[#16]

One can always ask me about crazy offerings - I'm told I have 'flypapers for freaks' on my forehead.

My latest offering includes someone who got abused by an official in another country. Now this gets my back up in one quick hurry, so I agreed to communicate, read what they had.

I learned that they were married, living in this country at the time. Had an affair with an official, who promised them the world. But then, uh, they got in the family way. Came home to the States, the official broke it off. Essentially that's it.

I'm fleeing from the gig because I don't WANT to write letters/content for a subject I don't believe in. Ask any woman: I don't think you'll hear that being ditched constitutes abuse.

I also don't think you'll hear of a crazier gig!

[#17]

Go you one worse. THAT was my first gig on Upwork - gotta have to get, ya know!

I wrote the thing - and then had many edits demanded. I deserved it. My daughter kept laughing and saying, well that's 15 now. 10 now. and finally "YOU owe THEM money!" lolol

[#18]

“Take an online exam for me in September

“Be willing to be paid in milestones; 50% of the money as soon as you complete the exam and 50% after the grades are announced, provided that you have passed the exam”

[#19]

Someone offered $5 to babysit them while they did data entry.  My wife explained that this isn't that uncommon, but I thought it was the funniest and strangest thing to pay someone for, so naturally I submitted a proposal.  I figure, if whether they need someone to keep them on point, need someone to entertain them, or need someone to distract them, I'm qualified, and I can always use an extra $4.  Still waiting to hear back.  

[#20]

5 dollars per 500 words.
Bargain.
I was a Buddhist monk for 13 years and I wrote the biography of my monk life. The main theme is football or soccer. The name of my books is beautiful memories of my monk life. I have written around 28 thousand words in my book. Thank you

[#21]

Just came across this. Had to share the screenshot. 

**Edited for Community Guidelines**

[#22]

I hope you reported it. Upwork is not a "relationship" platform.

[#23]

Yes. I did.

[#24]

Hi Salima,

Thanks for reporting this to us. Our team will review the job post and take action according to our internal processes.

Thank you.

[#25]

Ok here is one from me:.

"Well I have been getting mocked by mockers and I'm just trying to build some type of firewall or encrypted data to block this out and stop people from reading my thoughts"

I do not know what to think about this?

[#26]

"Build/Create anything online that makes me a profit"

That gives me an idea for a job post: "Make me $200. Budget $100."