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Crazy Job Postings Part II

Community Guru
Martina P Member Since: Jul 11, 2018
641 of 695

Nichola L wrote:

I've just had a terrific invitation (French to English translation) - invitation only - no job description at all but a $200 budget.

 

The client posted the job one year ago. He checked in 50 days ago. He has invited 1440 people is interviewing over 200. He has "hired" one person for $5.00, which has been "ongoing" since April last year ...

 

Upwork must love this sort of client to allow them to stay on board. Left to me, I would make them walk the plank.  


I say he is either a very meticulous person, or in need of medical services that are not provided on the platform...

Community Guru
Ray C Member Since: Jun 17, 2015
642 of 695

It tells me something about either my competitors or how they are being treated when my customers come at me like I’m a ne'er-do-well trying to jack them for a deposit. A guy posted a job of an undetermined scope with a budget of 10k. Then threatened to report anyone who bids 10k because he just put that price up to weed out the scammers. The implication being that no freelancer should ever charge 10k for anything and if they do they’re a scammer. This sounds like someone who has either been burned or is a burn. (on a side note he actually posted 100k but said he posted 10k. None the less, trembling with fear of being reported (for the crime of bidding the posted budget!) I bid a million, haha! kidding,)

Another logo seeker included in his job title, “(No cut and paste)” he meant no clip art. He also said he assumed designing this logo was a one hour job. And asked that we submit our concept for his logo with the bid. As if a real designer would give it that much thought without asking questions, doing research and, of course, having a contract. He also wanted the logo to depict the words in his name literally. I threw away 2 connect explaining, as politely as I could, everything that was offensive about his proposal which was everything. Did i mention the budget was $40?

If you are not already doing it, I encourage others to occasionally (if they can afford to) invest in a little client education. Think of it as an investment in the future of mankind. I may have been a little patronizing, I’m only human. But arrogant ignorance seems to be a scourge among those who have the means to get away with it and the onus is on all of us to call it out. But do it with compassion because who among us has not at some point irritated the heck out of a professional? Be honest. it’s easy to make that mistake. But when someone makes EVERY mistake possible in one job post, it warrants a little constructive slap on the wrist, I feel.

Sorry for the all bold but Helvetica Planck Thin is not a font my optic nerve appreciates. 

Community Guru
Mary W Member Since: Nov 10, 2014
643 of 695

I don't normally waste connects on those guys BUT when I get invitation from someone who needs legal advice but "can't afford a lawyer", I take the time to explain that for me to do that would constitute the unlawful practice of law.  No idea if they even understand but it makes me feel better anyway.

Community Guru
Preston H Member Since: Nov 24, 2014
644 of 695

re: "I take the time to explain that for me to do that would constitute the unlawful practice of law."

 

Because you are a paralegal?

 

What if I did it?

Community Guru
Mary W Member Since: Nov 10, 2014
645 of 695

Obviously, Preston, that would be illegal as well.  You cannot practice law or give legal advice if you are not a lawyer.

Active Member
Sarah C Member Since: May 12, 2019
646 of 695
Yesterday I was scrolling through the sea of $.01/word offerings and feeling pretty discouraged about it. I should have known it would only get worse:

$5 to write an entire ebook. Sure.

And another:

Someone posted this job five separate times, with slightly different wording, but the same crap rate. $5/1500 words OR $8/2500 words Or $10/3500. As many of these as you can churn out by next week.

It's been slim pickings for a while, but never *this* bad. And I'm pretty cheap, but not that cheap, dang.
Community Guru
Martina P Member Since: Jul 11, 2018
647 of 695

Sarah C wrote:
Yesterday I was scrolling through the sea of $.01/word offerings and feeling pretty discouraged about it. I should have known it would only get worse:

$5 to write an entire ebook. Sure.

And another:

Someone posted this job five separate times, with slightly different wording, but the same crap rate. $5/1500 words OR $8/2500 words Or $10/3500. As many of these as you can churn out by next week.

It's been slim pickings for a while, but never *this* bad. And I'm pretty cheap, but not that cheap, dang.

These prices almost make me nostalgic. I imagine a time when a whole house from Sears cost 1500, and I sit on the porch in my pretty flowered dress, happily chugging along my great novel, while waving at the neighbors walking by .... ah no, not even then. 

Community Guru
Ray C Member Since: Jun 17, 2015
648 of 695

Sarah C wrote:
Yesterday I was scrolling through the sea of $.01/word offerings and feeling pretty discouraged about it. I should have known it would only get worse:

$5 to write an entire ebook. Sure.

Sarah, I never bid what the budget says. Some clients want to save money so they start the bidding as low as possible but if they are reasonable clients they expect you to bid what it's worth. Sometimes I say,

"I realize $5 was a placeholder figure because you're not sure what it costs. Rest assured my price is fair and competitive for these services."

Or something like that and then charge what you are worth. I've even warned clients to be careful posting placeholder numbers because they will attract the riff raff and end up wasting time with some novice high school kid.

It's important that you confidently inform them of what quality service is worth. And I sometimes tell them the nightmare stories I've heard from other clients who posted jobs with unrealistic budgets.

I get a few less bites per bid but the ones i get are willing to pay for quality. And with that wording I'm not making them feel bad but instead giving them the benefit of the doubt.

But if they say "Please include this phrase, 'Freelancers are Slaves' so i know you read the proposal" then that's kind of a red flag haha!

 

Ace Contributor
Sheila F Member Since: Apr 6, 2017
649 of 695

Just got an invitiation to a featured post.

 

I wish I could copy-paste the post, it's so poorly written. There are sentence fragments and random capitialization. (Remind U.S. peeps of anyone?) They want someone with Laravel experience but it came out as "Larval". That made me laugh. They "are Adamant supporters of the United States Constitutions [sic]". The word  "America" appears three times and "Truth" twice.

 

Apparently they want to build a news site.

 

I'm going to decline the invitation but I'm trying to decide what I want to say when I do. They only want web designers and programmers. Should I recommend they get some writers and editors too?

 

Community Guru
Preston H Member Since: Nov 24, 2014
650 of 695

re: "I'm going to decline the invitation but I'm trying to decide what I want to say when I do. They only want web designers and programmers. Should I recommend they get some writers and editors too?"

 

Accepting an invitation costs you nothing, and doesn't commit you to anything.

 

Why not ACCEPT the invitation and tell them:

"Thank you for your invitation. I am a writer and editor. If you are targing an English-speaking audience with your website, I could help you with proofreading, writing new content, editing, etc. Feel free to reply if you would like an experienced, senior, native-English-speaking editor to help make your project a success."

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