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Crazy Job Postings Part II

Community Guru
Ray C Member Since: Jun 17, 2015
671 of 704
Ah kin rat sum reel gud contint fer a hole doller?
An ah git wun ever tam ah rat a thouzin werds?
OOOOWEEEE!!! Weez eetin tanight kidz!

Whut werd do ah heff ta rat?
Community Guru
Virginia F Member Since: Feb 15, 2016
672 of 704

Do a search right now for "Wate Loss Receipt Riter", only correct my spelling (should be obvious). It's all I can do not to bid just to say to the client "seriously"? I hope to high heaven no one takes that job.

Community Leader
Roberto S Member Since: Apr 27, 2019
673 of 704

Search for "kids mobile games". This is a translation of a mobile game for a fixed price of 60$. 4 Excel sheets with 100-160 rows, something around 10k words and even more (plus, incredibly confusional xslx sheets).

A mobile game for kids is supposed to be educational and error-free (=you need quality over all) and the client is not even asking for the usual slave rate, it's lower than half the slave rate. Proposals? From 10 to 15. I mean, how the hell is this even possible :facepalm: ? Just use Google Translate at this point and you'll have better results.
Flagged for free work Smiley Frustrated

Community Guru
Ray C Member Since: Jun 17, 2015
674 of 704
I think what happens is novice clients come to the site thinking it's a
freelancer centric organization and they are going to find lots of
untrustworthy car mechanic types who will rip them off. At that point the
freelancer stops being a human being with dignity and instead is seen as
the opponent. Since they have no idea what anything is worth they put the
budget as low as possible thinking they might get lucky. Or they are the
unscrupulous scalawags they appear to be. That's my theory.
Ace Contributor
Suzi E Member Since: Nov 19, 2018
675 of 704

Interesting perspective (always good to attempt to be kind as possible). There does seem to be a certain percentage of the client population though who mistakes Upwork as a site equivalent to Fivrr and expect to get thousands of dollars worth of work by experts for $5.

It would be great to filter out the predators and create a freelancer community where our work is respected, and professionals want to hire professionals. Sigh! Call me a dreamer.
Community Guru
Ray C Member Since: Jun 17, 2015
676 of 704

Yeah Suzi, I agree there are some of those. They fall into the latter category I mentioned. It would be nice to have a site where at least all the good jobs aren't skimmed off the top by an elite group who won't let anyone else in and guard those jobs like a squirrel guards his nuts...What? Okay acorns! Seriously though I know these tech brats aren't better than me (because no one is) so they are simply a clique of young white t-shirt, black dinner jacket on a skateboard types you see all over San Francisco these days now that the bridge toll mafia has taken over the northern access routes and their parents paid to secure them positions that allow them to crank out mediocre work with total confidence because the clients don't know the difference anyway and that's why we have design trends like "flat design" a style born of inadequate drawing skills that gained popularity by being unthreatening to the unskilled or the "butted-bold-plain" style of logo design where anyone can design a super-hip wordmark by simply OMG is that domain untaken!? Uh, I gotta go! 

Community Guru
Amanda L Member Since: Jan 23, 2018
677 of 704

Just saw this: For $5 fixed price.


Seeking an experienced grant writer for disposable medical device. Unique start-up team of professionals including chief of surgery of major teaching institution. Need someone who is comfortable and has a background in medical or healthcare arena


Um...that's like 12 cents an hour for the amount of work (or less). 

Community Guru
Preston H Member Since: Nov 24, 2014
678 of 704

re: "Just saw this: For $5 fixed price..."



But as has been said before, $5 fixed price is often a place-holder. A default value for clients who don't know what to put.


Along with many others here in the Forum, I have earned hundreds or thousands of dollars from individual $5 fixed-price job postings.

Community Guru
Ray C Member Since: Jun 17, 2015
679 of 704
They are trying to create new patients. They want to practice their new
surgical treatment for aneurism. Stay calm. Be happy in knowing that the
"experienced grant writer" they hire will waste their time and they will
never get the money for their disposable device. (Just what our oceans and
landfills need, more disposable medical devices!) Or maybe it's a cheap
wedding ring because they left so many of them in their patient's abdominal
cavities the figured they might as well make them disposable. You know,
this job is sounding more attractive by the minute. The comedic
possibilities are endless.

Ace Contributor
Liliath P Member Since: Apr 16, 2016
680 of 704

(Fixed price: $30)

The project should take no more than 10 hours to complete, and I am willing to pay $3 per hour. 

It is possible that the project may take only 5 hours, so I am being very generous here.