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Crazy Job Postings Part II

Community Guru
Ray C Member Since: Jun 17, 2015
681 of 695
Liliath P wrote:

(Fixed price: $30)

The project should take no more than 10 hours to complete, and I am willing to pay $3 per hour. 


It is possible that the project may take only 5 hours, so I am being very generous here.

 

Hahaha


 

Maybe the job is to drive his new Lamborghini around town and dine at fancy restaurants for ten hours with an unlimited expense account. But if it's anything involving sitting in front of a computer punching keys then say:

"Dear Mr. Giver, I would never want to take advantage of your supreme generosity so how about if I take 100 years to complete your job then you only have to pay .000001 cents per hour.  I'll need a 100% deposit to start though and the contract is void when either of us dies.


Community Guru
Ravindra B Member Since: Sep 27, 2015
682 of 695

Skill tests have been removed from our profiles, so why is this question allowed: "Have you taken any Upwork tests and done well on them that you think are relevant to this job?"

"Certa bonum certamen"
Community Guru
Sergio S Member Since: Dec 19, 2017
683 of 695

Wait, wait... What can be more ridiculous than this? I just received one of those e-mails "Sergio, here are 12 new jobs you may be interested in." One of them is a featured job, a very attractive long-term position but when I tried to see more details I ended up in this screen:

 

"Access denied: This job is private. Only freelancers invited by client can view this job."

 

Give me a break!

Community Guru
Ray C Member Since: Jun 17, 2015
684 of 695
I've had that. Not only is it annoying but it also shows that there are a
group of "chosen" freelancers skimming all the best jobs off the top.
Upwork pro or something like that. (Like after 20 years in business and
100s of 5 star ratings here, I'm not a pro) but there is no way to audition
for this status and get access to the non-BS jobs. Because they keep them
all to themselves and probably aren't very good freelancers either
otherwise they would play fair. I dont believe that 9 out of ten clients
are complete flakes wanting something for nothing and unable to communicate
their most basic needs. I believe we are simply getting the bottom of the
barrel clients that no one wants. I've been in business for a long time and
it has never been this dismal.
Community Guru
Tiffany S Member Since: Jan 15, 2016
685 of 695

Ray C wrote:
I've had that. Not only is it annoying but it also shows that there are a
group of "chosen" freelancers skimming all the best jobs off the top.

Actually, what it shows is that invitation only jobs work exactly the way they are described in the Upwork help materials, and some clients choose to use them.
Upwork pro or something like that. (Like after 20 years in business and
100s of 5 star ratings here, I'm not a pro) but there is no way to audition
for this status and get access to the non-BS jobs. Because they keep them
all to themselves and probably aren't very good freelancers either
otherwise they would play fair. I dont believe that 9 out of ten clients
are complete flakes wanting something for nothing and unable to communicate
their most basic needs. I believe we are simply getting the bottom of the
barrel clients that no one wants. I've been in business for a long time and
it has never been this dismal.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I've gotten nearly all of my Upwork clients through public job postings. I don't consider any of my clients bottom of the barrel--I've reached 5% fees with several of them. 

Community Guru
Ray C Member Since: Jun 17, 2015
686 of 695
I don't take the other nine. the 1 out of 10 clients i do take are great
but i have to weed through a lot of bad ones to find them, hence this
thread.

It's pretty hard to get to 5% in design jobs that aren't programming. And
when you look at the state of a lot of graphic design out there you realize
that quality artwork is not valued like it used to be. A lot of people
settle for mediocre work and they call it stuff like flat design, used to
be grunge. It's just an excuse because they have no skill.

It's the same in other industries like music as well. Arts and culture
programs are no longer funded in schools like they were in the past and the
overall quality of many arts have suffered.

Tech is all anyone cares about and there are some great advances in tech
but a lot of it falls short because the design aspect is weak. As a big fan
of the old cartoons, I first noticed this trend when i was five. I didn't
want to watch the new Popeye and Bugs Bunny cartoons. Everyone said: "Oh
these are more modern." But i wasn't buying it. It was commercial
mass-produced garbage.

I watched the entire animation industry get worse and worse until finally
they came out with South Park in which the art is as awful as it can be.
Everyone said: "oh they purposely did it that way because its funny." They
saved a lot of money not having to hire real artists is all they did.

20 years ago no one would be so disrespectful as to ask a designer to work
for 5 dollars. These same people would own slaves if it were legal. I don't
know what these people are thinking but maybe i give them too much credit,
the operative word being "think."
Community Guru
Tiffany S Member Since: Jan 15, 2016
687 of 695

Sergio S wrote:

Wait, wait... What can be more ridiculous than this? I just received one of those e-mails "Sergio, here are 12 new jobs you may be interested in." One of them is a featured job, a very attractive long-term position but when I tried to see more details I ended up in this screen:

 

"Access denied: This job is private. Only freelancers invited by client can view this job."

 

Give me a break!


Sounds like maybe you haven't used Upwork as a client. It's not unusual to start a job as a public posting then change it. For example, a couple of weeks ago I identified the freelancer I wanted to hire for a job, but didn't want to send him an offer until I had all of the materials in hand that he'd need to get started. So, I set the job to invitation only to make sure additional freelancers weren't wasting their connects while I was waiting for the additional information I needed to make the hire.

Community Guru
Ravindra B Member Since: Sep 27, 2015
688 of 695

Holy cow!

 

“wallcome my frist post.....”

 

Client is from the US.

 

"Certa bonum certamen"
Community Guru
Nichola L Member Since: Mar 13, 2015
689 of 695

Ravindra B wrote:

Holy cow!

 

“wallcome my frist post.....”

 

Client is from the US.

 


_____________________

A Walmart customer ... Smiley Wink

 

ETA: I rather like "wallcome" a sort of hybridization of Welcome y'all!

Community Guru
Wendy C Member Since: Aug 24, 2015
690 of 695

@ Ray C.,

 

Just because a client lists a $ 10 or $100 budget, if the job and you are worth more, the solution is educate the client.  Just like in the B&M world.

 

There are designers on site who are charging and earning professional rates.  Just like there are writers, programmers, etc. charging and earning professional rates. 

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