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Crazy Job Postings Part II

ravi_iitian
Community Guru
Ravindra B Member Since: Sep 27, 2015
641 of 772

US Client looking for a “Native English Speaker” to polish a blog:

 

2019-02-20_220747.png

"Certa bonum certamen"
martina_plaschka
Community Guru
Martina P Member Since: Jul 11, 2018
642 of 772

Ravindra B wrote:

US Client looking for a “Native English Speaker” to polish a blog:

 

2019-02-20_220747.png


that is truly hilarious and I'm stepping aside to let the many very talented word-smiths swoop in and take it on!

If anyone needs it, I can provide shoe-polish!

martina_plaschka
Community Guru
Martina P Member Since: Jul 11, 2018
643 of 772

Mary W wrote:

I saw one yesterday.  $150 fixed price for 15 articles on North Dakota criminal law.  Due today at 9 am.  Really.


I just hope that wasn't the time he needed to be in court....

colettelewis
Community Guru
Nichola L Member Since: Mar 13, 2015
644 of 772

I've just had a terrific invitation (French to English translation) - invitation only - no job description at all but a $200 budget.

 

The client posted the job one year ago. He checked in 50 days ago. He has invited 1440 people is interviewing over 200. He has "hired" one person for $5.00, which has been "ongoing" since April last year ...

 

Upwork must love this sort of client to allow them to stay on board. Left to me, I would make them walk the plank.  

martina_plaschka
Community Guru
Martina P Member Since: Jul 11, 2018
645 of 772

Nichola L wrote:

I've just had a terrific invitation (French to English translation) - invitation only - no job description at all but a $200 budget.

 

The client posted the job one year ago. He checked in 50 days ago. He has invited 1440 people is interviewing over 200. He has "hired" one person for $5.00, which has been "ongoing" since April last year ...

 

Upwork must love this sort of client to allow them to stay on board. Left to me, I would make them walk the plank.  


I say he is either a very meticulous person, or in need of medical services that are not provided on the platform...

numbsain
Community Guru
Ray C Member Since: Jun 17, 2015
646 of 772

It tells me something about either my competitors or how they are being treated when my customers come at me like I’m a ne'er-do-well trying to jack them for a deposit. A guy posted a job of an undetermined scope with a budget of 10k. Then threatened to report anyone who bids 10k because he just put that price up to weed out the scammers. The implication being that no freelancer should ever charge 10k for anything and if they do they’re a scammer. This sounds like someone who has either been burned or is a burn. (on a side note he actually posted 100k but said he posted 10k. None the less, trembling with fear of being reported (for the crime of bidding the posted budget!) I bid a million, haha! kidding,)

Another logo seeker included in his job title, “(No cut and paste)” he meant no clip art. He also said he assumed designing this logo was a one hour job. And asked that we submit our concept for his logo with the bid. As if a real designer would give it that much thought without asking questions, doing research and, of course, having a contract. He also wanted the logo to depict the words in his name literally. I threw away 2 connect explaining, as politely as I could, everything that was offensive about his proposal which was everything. Did i mention the budget was $40?

If you are not already doing it, I encourage others to occasionally (if they can afford to) invest in a little client education. Think of it as an investment in the future of mankind. I may have been a little patronizing, I’m only human. But arrogant ignorance seems to be a scourge among those who have the means to get away with it and the onus is on all of us to call it out. But do it with compassion because who among us has not at some point irritated the heck out of a professional? Be honest. it’s easy to make that mistake. But when someone makes EVERY mistake possible in one job post, it warrants a little constructive slap on the wrist, I feel.

Sorry for the all bold but Helvetica Planck Thin is not a font my optic nerve appreciates. 

mwiggenhorn
Community Guru
Mary W Member Since: Nov 10, 2014
647 of 772

I don't normally waste connects on those guys BUT when I get invitation from someone who needs legal advice but "can't afford a lawyer", I take the time to explain that for me to do that would constitute the unlawful practice of law.  No idea if they even understand but it makes me feel better anyway.

prestonhunter
Community Guru
Preston H Member Since: Nov 24, 2014
648 of 772

re: "I take the time to explain that for me to do that would constitute the unlawful practice of law."

 

Because you are a paralegal?

 

What if I did it?

mwiggenhorn
Community Guru
Mary W Member Since: Nov 10, 2014
649 of 772

Obviously, Preston, that would be illegal as well.  You cannot practice law or give legal advice if you are not a lawyer.

schardo
Ace Contributor
Sarah C Member Since: May 12, 2019
650 of 772
Yesterday I was scrolling through the sea of $.01/word offerings and feeling pretty discouraged about it. I should have known it would only get worse:

$5 to write an entire ebook. Sure.

And another:

Someone posted this job five separate times, with slightly different wording, but the same crap rate. $5/1500 words OR $8/2500 words Or $10/3500. As many of these as you can churn out by next week.

It's been slim pickings for a while, but never *this* bad. And I'm pretty cheap, but not that cheap, dang.
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