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Pandora's avatar
Pandora H Community Member

Crazy Job Postings

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

 

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

 

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

 

Here's something I saw tonight:

 

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

 

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

 

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

 

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

 

One word: Sheesh!

 

 

 

ACCEPTED SOLUTION
Andrea's avatar
Andrea G Community Manager

Hi all,

 

We are closing this thread due to its size. Feel free to visit this new thread if you'd like to continue sharing your experience with odd and curious jobs.

 

We encourage you to have fun and discuss your experience. That said, please be mindful of our Community Guidelines and refrain from posting links to job postings, names of persons or companies, or any other identifying information. Additionally, if you come across a job that violates Upwork TOS, please flag it as inappropriate following the steps outlined here.

 

~Andrea

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2,171 REPLIES 2,171
Ramon's avatar
Ramon B Community Member

No, don't go crazy Rockefeller, you shouldn't be splashing such phenomenal sums around...

 

 

The $25 budget is just a random number, obviously it won't be even remotely to that number,

John's avatar
John K Community Member

You will be asked to answer the following questions when applying:

 

  1. Please despicable me about your Wordpress experience / expertise.
__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
John's avatar
John K Community Member

Seriously, should I flag the job posted by this 'client' as inappropriate? 31 open jobs since October with 0% hired and payment method not verified?

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
Preston's avatar
Preston H Community Member

John,

Regarding the client whose profile shows they have posted 35 jobs, but have hired zero people thus far, and currently have 31 open jobs...

 

Obviously experienced and knowledgeable contractors such as ourselves here on the community forum are wise enough to NOT apply to a job with such a "client."

 

Some newbies might, though.

 

But oDesk has made recent announcements about cleaning up their client lists and removing people like this. I believe them. Obviously this is detrimental to the site, and I think that oDesk really is working on new back-end algorithms to help them locate and suspend the accounts of people who post jobs but don't hire.

John's avatar
John K Community Member


@Preston H wrote:

 

Obviously experienced and knowledgeable contractors such as ourselves here on the community forum are wise enough to NOT apply to a job with such a "client."

 

Some newbies might, though.

 


 So you would think, but as of now, there are 64 applicants for the last job posted by the 'client' in question, and of the most recent 8 applicants, 4 have 1458, 350, 539, and 197 hours at oDesk. Are they the sort who send spam applications to every posted job then? Regardless, something like this could be the basis of a client 'Job Success' score--too many open jobs with no hires should have negative consequences for clients.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
John's avatar
John K Community Member

66 applicants now--the 2 latest have 4871 and 747 hours between them!

 

I thought I would be proactive and flag the job as inappropriate, but none of the choices are appropriate. It isn't SPAM unless posting jobs and never hiring is a form of SPAM. It isn't phishing/fraud either, although it *is* fraud in the sense that the 'client' probably has no intention of hiring anyone. If I did apply, maybe I'll get a request for free work or work outside oDesk, but I'm not applying just to report the job.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
Sharon's avatar
Sharon H Community Member


@John K wrote:

You will be asked to answer the following questions when applying:

 

  1. Please despicable me about your Wordpress experience / expertise.

 

I was right in the middle of sipping a cup of tea when I read that.  My keyboard thanks you. 

Ramon's avatar
Ramon B Community Member

I know people are desperate for work now, but still...

 

 

 

 

TRYING TO GET PREGNANT? Volunteers & Paid Fixed Price - Est. Budget: $5

Isabelle Anne's avatar
Isabelle Anne A Community Member

@Ramon - I think that's the worst one I've seen on this thread. Were there any applicants?

Ramon's avatar
Ramon B Community Member

I cheated a little Smiley Very Happy

 

It was actually about people who would blog about their attempts to get pregnant; people prepared to share the most intimate moments of their lives with complete strangers for the pricely sum of $5.

Matthew's avatar
Matthew H Community Member

"Write a book

Fixed price - Est. budget $1000

 

write a book about haryy potter"

 

To compound the silliness it's filed under "academic writing"...

John's avatar
John K Community Member

Design a simple but professional looking wordpress site with multimedia contents. The site emphasizes on video sharing and blogging.

You will be offered an hourly rate of $3.00.

 

The shortest time and lowest rate will get the job.

 

I guess the client wasn't aware that $3.00/hr is the oDesk minimum. 

Here's his hiring record: $2.73/hr AVG HOURLY RATE PAID

526 Hours
 
He even requires this (English level): Fluent - Has complete command of this language with perfect grammar
 
As a US citizen I'm ashamed this individual lives in the US.

 

 

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
Suzanne's avatar
Suzanne N Community Member

5  Page Essay in regards to a software company. 4 questions to research and needs to be complete in 48 hours .025c per word.

 

What is interesting on this he has quite a few jobs and they are all essay papers which makes me think the guy is a student having someone else do his work

 

Some of the completed jobs

 

Pre-Calc Math Problems to be Solved

Consumer Behavior Paper

Paper on Nelson Mandela

Art History Paper

 

 

 

John's avatar
John K Community Member

If someone's going to hire others to do course work, the least they can do is not wait until the last minute. Cat Tongue

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
Pravin's avatar
Pravin K Community Member

Yeah, I can write a book on this subject..Smiley Very Happy

I know a man from my grandparents' village.. He is very hairy and he is also a potter...

I guess I have to write about this Hairy Potter.. Smiley Tongue

$1000.. that's a good money thoughSmiley Tongue

Pandora's avatar
Pandora H Community Member

 

 

OMG. I'm not looking for work, but today I wondered if one of my job search terms would still work after the new Catagory update.

 

And, on the very first page results for that term, I see that some random client in Canada (an established one, with a great hourly pay even) has copied, verbatim, a job description one of my clients used for an open job this week.

 

It's a big job description, and my client spent hours writing and editing the silly thing. Clients, please, don't steal other clients job descriptions. It's scammy. Write your own, for goodness sakes.

 

Disclaimer: Not naming names. nope, no siree.

John's avatar
John K Community Member

Your qualifications:

- A complete Elance profile

- References or an established reputation on Elance preferred

 

Someone tell this client he's on oDesk, not Elance. Cat Tongue

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
Ramon's avatar
Ramon B Community Member

A cross between an academic and a magician???

 

 

 

The Acadmecian i can write for academicians and research articles.

Natalia's avatar
Natalia U Community Member

What about this job (attached screen grab)?

 

Translate a sentence: $1.50

 

They've been interviewing 3 people for over a day.

 

If it wasn't for connects I would just apply and translate it for them in 20 seconds for free! (Just kidding..., but come on!)

 

Seriously who is going to waste 2 connects on this?

 

APPARENTLY 35 PEOPLE SO FAR!

 

😮

John's avatar
John K Community Member

Here's my translation, free of charge,

 

Dios es una esfera inteligible, cuyo centro está en todas partes y su circunferencia en ninguna

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
Natalia's avatar
Natalia U Community Member

LOL John

 

Eso.... 😉

Ramon's avatar
Ramon B Community Member

need to make the program affordable wifi connection which will take place through the registration on my website : guest comes to my office connected to wifi, necessarily has to register on my website and only after that to enjoy free internet If you have questions[...]

 

 

 

Yes, what on Earth are you on about?

Cairenn's avatar
Cairenn R Community Member


@Ramon B wrote:

need to make the program affordable wifi connection which will take place through the registration on my website : guest comes to my office connected to wifi, necessarily has to register on my website and only after that to enjoy free internet If you have questions[...]

 

 

 

Yes, what on Earth are you on about?


Sounds like all this guy is looking for is someone to create a password for others to access his public wifi. LOL

 

Bid $50.  

Natalia's avatar
Natalia U Community Member

Job post title:

 

OIL

 

Job description:

 

Contact me

 

 

End of job post

 

 

Sure..sure...

 

 

Stephen's avatar
Stephen B Community Member

A slippery character no doubt. ..