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pandoraharper
Community Member

Crazy Job Postings

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

 

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

 

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

 

Here's something I saw tonight:

 

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

 

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

 

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

 

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

 

One word: Sheesh!

 

 

 

ACCEPTED SOLUTION
AndreaG
Moderator
Moderator

Hi all,

 

We are closing this thread due to its size. Feel free to visit this new thread if you'd like to continue sharing your experience with odd and curious jobs.

 

We encourage you to have fun and discuss your experience. That said, please be mindful of our Community Guidelines and refrain from posting links to job postings, names of persons or companies, or any other identifying information. Additionally, if you come across a job that violates Upwork TOS, please flag it as inappropriate following the steps outlined here.

 

~Andrea
Upwork

View solution in original post

2,171 REPLIES 2,171
reinierb
Community Member

Just saw a job posting for 3-5 writers that are expected to lampoon, ridicule, and/or lambast the President-elect on a daily basis, seven days a week.

 

Now that is just rude.


@Reinier B wrote:

Just saw a job posting for 3-5 writers that are expected to lampoon, ridicule, and/or lambast the President-elect on a daily basis, seven days a week.

 

Now that is just rude.


I can do that for free. Wait, I'm already doing that for free.

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"Where darkness shines like dazzling light"   —William Ashbless


@Rene K wrote:

@Reinier B wrote:

Just saw a job posting for 3-5 writers that are expected to lampoon, ridicule, and/or lambast the President-elect on a daily basis, seven days a week.

 

Now that is just rude.


I can do that for free. Wait, I'm already doing that for free.


 We are treading on thin ice again. I really hope Valeria is not working now- if she sees this she'll bust us again, for sure.

You're right, my bad.

 

I will definitively not be working for free.

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"Where darkness shines like dazzling light"   —William Ashbless

Rene, je t'aime.  😄

Job posted an hour ago as "Creative Writing" -- asking (in the HEADLINE!) for someone to "Pass US English Tests" for them. Adds a question to the job posting text: What's your Skype ID?

 

Threatens to not pay the generous ten dollars if the freelancer hired cannot pass the three English tests required.

 

Fraud, much? Upwork fraud algorithms weak, much?

 

I do think that the job is kind of in the correct category, because this job posting is quite blatant. The client obviously DOES need someone who can write more creatively than he or she, in order to better obscure the obvious intent of the task for hire.

Hi Janean,

 

I wasn't able to find the job you are referring to. It may have already been removed but I would like to check. If you can still access it, could you please PM me the link?

~ Valeria
Upwork

Will do, Valeria!  Maybe it has been removed already. One can always hope!

 

ETA -- Looks as if this "client" has used one of the usual dodges. The job appears to continue its existence, but it is now "private" -- by slimy invitation by greaseball client only.


@Janean L wrote:

Job posted an hour ago as "Creative Writing" -- asking (in the HEADLINE!) for someone to "Pass US English Tests" for them. Adds a question to the job posting text: What's your Skype ID?

 

 


 LOL 🙂 Spending $10 on this when all the tests are avaiable on the Internets 🙂

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"Where darkness shines like dazzling light"   —William Ashbless

Okay, I amend my comments and stand corrected, René. By invitation by slimy, greaseball, dumb client. There. Fixed it.

I am sure all of us have had to deal with scope creep at some point in our careers, and in my experience, clients mostly use stealth methods when trying to add the extra work.

 

However, there is a posting in my feed now that blatantly states that the client "reserves the right to demand revisions that go beyond the original specifications of the job."

 

This is not a job; this is the start to a round of mutual bad feedback, a dispute, a dinged JSS, and much unhappiness for the luckless freelancer who fails to notice this client's "right" to commit scope creep in the job posting. 

 

 

jcullinan
Community Member

What I particularly love are the newbie freelancers who somehow ended up with client accounts and post "jobs" that consist of their resume and asking for work.

 

"I have experience 22 yars make great graphics art plz Skype me"

 

Yup. Looking for new projects is SO fun. 😕

9f526fec
Community Member

Not sure if this one is mentioned already, but I just saw a ad for customer service. A shift of 8 hours, 7 days a week, for 250 dollars a month.


@Melanie R wrote:

Not sure if this one is mentioned already, but I just saw a ad for customer service. A shift of 8 hours, 7 days a week, for 250 dollars a month.


 It's pretty good salary considering the fact that you will never have the free time to spend any of it.

-----------
"Where darkness shines like dazzling light"   —William Ashbless

Somebody needs to flag this as it's way below $3/hour minimum

Didn't think of doing that, sorry. When I see it again I will flag it.

jmccpa
Community Member

**Edited for Community Guidelines**

 

Wonder which one will get charged with borrower fraud - the Job Poster or the Freelancer who gets job?

 

Likely, both.

 

Flagged as Fraud. Also submitted a support ticket identifying current request to commit fraud.

 

This "client" also posted a job in May, 2016, for a freelancer to prepare a fake Wells Fargo bank statement and found a freelancer to do it - from Bangladesh.

 

Joe

Joseph M. C. ,P.C., CPA/ABV
jmlaidlaw
Community Member

Hope that the client and the freelancer who completed the previous "job" are both suspended. Permanently. This goes well beyond the usual academic fraud. It equals much of the academic fraud for jaw-dropping blatancy. However, in this case (these cases), the client and freelancer[s] are using this platform to perpetrate several federal crimes. And they are messing with the IRS!

jmccpa
Community Member

Sad.

 

The job is still up and the Poster is interviewing 4 freelancers.

 

Having flagged this and also opened a CS ticket, sad that Upwork has no mechanism to respond quickly to such a blatant misuse of the site.

 

I realize this is Sunday and could well be that the fraudulent poster knew he/she could get away with this type of fraud for the 2nd time.

Joseph M. C. ,P.C., CPA/ABV

Joe, you might want to send the same info to each of the moderators.  I'm not sure which one or ones are working today ... but that needs to come down now! And sanctions impleemented.

 

 

Wendy,

 

I got an email about 1/2 hours ago from CS that the job is down and "and an appropriate  action has been taken by our proper department on the Client's account".

 

I checked and it is down.

 

Joe

Joseph M. C. ,P.C., CPA/ABV

This morning, I reported an academic cheat ten minutes after the student's job had been posted. A few hours later, I received the generic letter from CS. I checked the job, and it is no longer available, but it has been awarded. The student has posted a number of psychology essays to be written all of which were awarded.

 

It is quite clear from the people who do not get banned for this sort of fraud, that Upwork, if it does not actively condone it, certainly does nothing very strenuous to prevent it.

 

 

sivavranagaro
Community Member

Among list of funny things I found this one the most crazy:

"You want to go to the beach when the sun is shining, and work in your pyjamas, at 2am (if you want)."

____________
Don't correct my grammar!

re: "It is quite clear from the people who do not get banned for this sort of fraud, that Upwork, if it does not actively condone it, certainly does nothing very strenuous to prevent it."

 

Explain the economics or business model which justify doing differently.

Since the terms "business" and "ethics" are often mutually exclusive, I have to agree with Preston that it does not make economic/financial sense to do things differently. 

yitwail
Community Member

Maybe this is weird rather than crazy but,

"A website that looks good on mobile AND web ONLY experienced weirdos may apply" Cat Surprised

 

Weirdo is also used elsewhere in the description so it's no typo. Could be client thinks an "extremely gifted web developer" willing to do his site for $50 has to be weird, and if so, he may be right.

 

For kicks, I did a job search for 'weirdo', and this is the only job that came up. All you weirdos out there, do not miss this opportunity.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
three-eleven
Community Member

Сurious if a job hourly posting about with Intermediate Level of skills required should be considered crazy when it states that freelancer should get payment only after certain conditions? The job is about getting dropped sales back for some ecommerce site. They are looking for seo guy to investigate and fix that, but this isn't much the only way of getting them back.

 

Terms are: IMPORTANT: you will be paid ONLY when the sales back to the normal situation.

Client has pretty much 'great client' feedbacks for for recent activies.

 

I personally do find terms very tricky and slippery, although they are pretty legal

"Mentally melting down hear the sound of the same old sound going round" Stuck Mojo

Hi Mike,

 

Please pm me the link to the job post you're referring to, so I can take a look and confirm it is in line with Upwork ToS.

~ Vladimir
Upwork

Another notice:

 

Experienced .... for a long period with a Entry Level (dollar) . Than a long list of requirements for shiny and tidy, delivered a day before yesterday. 😄

 

Do such freelancers exist?

"Mentally melting down hear the sound of the same old sound going round" Stuck Mojo

Yes, they do, in the Twilight Zone.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

I need ... developer for our new eCommerce platform. 
Someone good in programming with good price.
I would required FTP access for any ... website to see your custom programming skills
before awarding the project

I do find this crazy a bit, but i may be overreacting about this job posting, no need to bother for JSS, feedback, profile and NDA 😄 No history, no hires, being a member from the last days of january 2017.

 

"Mentally melting down hear the sound of the same old sound going round" Stuck Mojo

I do not think it is unreasonable for a potential client to ask to have FTP access to a site a programmer created so that the client can check out the programmer's custom programming skills.

 

If I saw a job I was interested in, I would be happy to provide such access to a demo site of my creation. Obviously I would not provide access to a client's live site.


@Preston H wrote:

I do not think it is unreasonable for a potential client to ask to have FTP access to a site a programmer created so that the client can check out the programmer's custom programming skills.

 

If I saw a job I was interested in, I would be happy to provide such access to a demo site of my creation. Obviously I would not provide access to a client's live site.


 in a general its not, but imagine script being magento and FTP being disable by default, and we have 2017 out there 🙂 i don't remember when i've used it last time (FTP), moreover, if you are familiar with magento specifics it may be a way hard to see the quality custom programming skills and make an assumption in a considerable amount of time, so it is kind of stange request, but not unrealistic. But again, what i was saying it was rather overreacting.  If i was to be a client - i won't ask for ftp to evaluate potential freelancer skills.

"Mentally melting down hear the sound of the same old sound going round" Stuck Mojo

re: "in a general its not, but imagine script being magento and FTP being disable by default"

 

Okay. But that job posting doesn't mention anything at all about Magento.

 

I use FTP every day.

 

Obviously that job posting wasn't for you or Magentophiles. It was for people who love FTP more than you do.

it does, i've just masked couple of words to avoid direct job text posting here, it can be found via search btw, but lets wrap up with that, nevertheless it is absolutely okay - that was me being bitten by magento controller and getting crazy about it


@Preston H wrote:

re: "in a general its not, but imagine script being magento and FTP being disable by default"

 

Okay. But that job posting doesn't mention anything at all about Magento.

 

I use FTP every day.

 

Obviously that job posting wasn't for you or Magentophiles. It was for people who love FTP more than you do.


 

"Mentally melting down hear the sound of the same old sound going round" Stuck Mojo
euaici
Community Member

$ 0.003/word, 100,000 words to translate, you HAVE to work 10 hours a day. What is not to love?

 

Aaand another one: want to pay 80 bucks to translate 30,000 words. is it a full moon or something?

yitwail
Community Member

Looking for an experienced front end and back end developer than can create a perfect ponzi scheme website

 

-- goes witihout saying, payment method unverified

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
VladimirG
Community Manager
Community Manager

Hi John,

 

I reported the job you mentioned and our team will remove it soon, thanks.

~ Vladimir
Upwork

Vladimir, there's a new one today, so I'll flag it.

 

Looking for an experience developer and designer for a peer to peer donation website with exceptional skills and abiity to deliver on time

 

That's vague, but job title has Ponzi scheme in it, and again payment method is unverified.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
jcullinan
Community Member

This is a new one - client looking for someone who can design in a powerful female way because previous freelancers have been too testosterone based. Plus every other word is misspelled.

 

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

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