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pandoraharper
Member

Crazy Job Postings

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

 

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

 

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

 

Here's something I saw tonight:

 

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

 

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

 

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

 

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

 

One word: Sheesh!

 

 

 

ACCEPTED SOLUTION
andregutierrez22
Moderator
Moderator

Hi all,

 

We are closing this thread due to its size. Feel free to visit this new thread if you'd like to continue sharing your experience with odd and curious jobs.

 

We encourage you to have fun and discuss your experience. That said, please be mindful of our Community Guidelines and refrain from posting links to job postings, names of persons or companies, or any other identifying information. Additionally, if you come across a job that violates Upwork TOS, please flag it as inappropriate following the steps outlined here.

 

~Andrea
Upwork

View solution in original post

2,171 REPLIES 2,171
sid456
Member

i want to do this job..

What are your monthly expenses?

Not an actual word, and not much incentive to be positive!

 

 

* Positiveness - I only work with positive people, sorry world haters! I will pay $1.5 per hour

I would actually accept a job that paid $1.50 per hour to be positive. As long as I didn't have to do anything else.

 

For only $1.00 per hour you can hire me to be negative.

On the same line... I could accept $0.5 per hour to be apathetic. Or even less. I don't care ๐Ÿ˜‰

I wonder who he got though? I don't think, what with one thing and another, that many of the $1.50 an hour workers are feeling too positive at the moment!

How long would you actually keep that job Preston?

What do you take per hour to be positive? Can I hire you for $1?

(I see in your profile your price per hour is $20)

I would have wasted some of my credits to reply back "I positively decline your offer! :)" and I would have sent him a counter offer of $100 an hour that I would positively accept.

suznee
Member

The ones I love data entry huge amount of work, Budget $10 and all 5 star feedback. I would never do 200,000 some entries for $10. but to each his own I guess

 

Pandora, actually there are a lot of people who would jump at the job you posted at $6 an hour. That is a lot of money in some places including here in the US.


@Suzanne N wrote:

The ones I love data entry huge amount of work, Budget $10 and all 5 star feedback. I would never do 200,000 some entries for $10. but to each his own I guess

 

Pandora, actually there are a lot of people who would jump at the job you posted at $6 an hour. That is a lot of money in some places including here in the US.


Well sure, I get that. But no one person is going to know all of that. That was my point. I mean, if they are willing to train, that's cool. Again, not a detail on the job post.

 

I posted this because it's an example of:

A job post with a huge list of tasks and lackig in appropriate data regarding fullfulment

A job post with some advanced skills (InfusionSoft, Bookeeping)

A job post made by a client who has not ever paid for hourly work

 

So maybe some folks see this as an opportunity, but I would never in a million years want this job unless they paid me way more then $6 and let me manage a team. Thats just me though.

 

 

 

Received invite:

 

"I wanted to know how can I designed and logo?"

 

That's it. Nothing more. 

 

Why was this allowed to be posted at all? And stop sending me this $#@!. 

Simply answer:

Well you couldn't have because the first part of your sentence was in past tense, then you switched to present tense, inquiring about the future, then implied that you already design(ed) the logo which would be a physical impossibilty in this dimension. besides the fact that you say you have no recollection of having done so, or in your case, having didded so.

My advice is that you never can did anymore designing the logo!

Just tell him that.


@Pandora H wrote:

@Suzanne N wrote:

The ones I love data entry huge amount of work, Budget $10 and all 5 star feedback. I would never do 200,000 some entries for $10. but to each his own I guess

 

Pandora, actually there are a lot of people who would jump at the job you posted at $6 an hour. That is a lot of money in some places including here in the US.


Well sure, I get that. But no one person is going to know all of that. That was my point. I mean, if they are willing to train, that's cool. Again, not a detail on the job post. 

 

Actually, I know all of that. I know several other people who do, as well. But (and I'm sure this was part of your point), that's roughly 11% of my regular hourly rate. It's very unlikely that anyone who has been in the business world long enough to develop such a diverse skill set is going to be willing to work at those rates.

 

 

 

 

Lol - I got the thousandth (and one) kudos on the most popular thread in the forum  - She patted her chest and reached for her glasses and inhaler - does she care what happens on the morrow? - not a lot . . . 

There was this guy that was needing 40 hours a week, asking full-time job and the payment was $7 for all the job done.

vorion
Member

 I came across a client, the post was about collecting 100 leads from a website and the same to be filled in Excel. All for 3 USD and a 5 star feedback assurance. .

 

My brother was very eager to take that job as he didn't even manage to get his first job. I told him not to touch that. But he was very adamant to do it. He applied and got the job.

 

The client explains like this on Skype.

 

Client: Hi! This is the URL of London area, fill all the names, addresses, numbers and emails in the spreadsheet.

 

My brother: Ok.

 

Client: Once you are done with it, let me know, I will give you other locations. we don't have much time, I have nearly 60 locations to complete.

 

My Brother: Thank you, sir. What would be the payment for additional locations?

 

Client: additional? what additional?

 

Brother: the extra locations.

 

Client: didn't you read the post properly? we agreed for 3 USD

 

Brother: all for 3 USD? totally? 3x60 = 180 USD or just 3 USD?

 

Client: 3 USD.

 

Brother: ........

 

Client: can you do it???

 

Brother: (after calculating) sir, the total project may take nearly 120 hours. that is more than a couple of weeks' work. All these for just 3 USD?

 

Client: not just 3 USD, you don't have any feedback, I will give you 5 star feedback.

 

Brother:.............

 

Client: ?????

 

My brother blocked the client in frustration.

 

I was like what the heck..

 

I am not making this up. This is a true incident happened a week ago.

 

This is the craziest client I have ever seen.. never want to see one again..

LOL. All in a day's   (attempt to get a)    job !!!

I think that client is not the only one.
I think there's a whole lot of them lurking and preying on those newbies.

iaabraham
Member

See the attached pic for my contribution to this thread.

 

*EDIT*:

 

I stupidly forgot about community guidelines (and the warning from the OP!) Something must be wrong with my brain this week. Anyway, the job description went like this (hope this is allowed):

 

"S#xy bi*ch needed to proofread 200 word document."

 

[Unverified client, and my favourite part was that someone was hired!]

 

 

Lol Isabelle -and the funniest thing is someone was actually hired as a s..y b...h?Smiley LOL

I thought that was the best part Smiley LOL

I changed my profile pic to a picture of a supermodel and got the job. Boy were they surprised when i showed up ahahah!

ha ha ha ha that's funny 

That was awesome...Smiley Very Happy

Something wrong with that client..

ok.

But What the heck is wrong with those 4 contractors who applied for that job?

I wonder who's that SB finally got hired.

 

Very bad and unprofessional.

 

 

Hi Isabelle Anne,

 

I am not able to find the posting you referred to in your post so it probably has been removed from the Marketplace already. If you are still able to access it, please flag it or send a link to it to me in a private message and I will make sure it's removed. It is totally inappropriate. Thank you!

 

Note, that I had to remove the screenshot for Community Guidelines. 

~ Valeria
Upwork

Sorry my fault! I guess I'm not allowed to attach screenshots of job postings. I must have forgotten/missed that in the community guidelines.

 

EDIT:

 

Hi Valeria,

 

I remember seeing that post more than a few weeks back. I just took a screenshot because I thought it was hilarious (and terribly inappropriate of course). And as somebody had already been hired, I didn't know if I should flag it or not. I assumed that the job poster had an agreement with the freelancer they hired/they had known them for some while. Will flag in future, thanks!

Ew. That means the freelancer probably sent nasty pics to get hired. 

Ew. And sad. And ew again. 

But how could they tell?...

No misspelling and grammatically error. Once plagiarism, misspelling and grammar error be catch work will automatically be rejected and be removed in this job without notice.

Ok, I'm going to be careful here not to violate guidelines, there's a job posted a few days ago that asks for a WordPress theme to be developed so that the client can sell it at a large theme marketplace. The budget for this job is barely what it costs to buy 2 themes at this very marketplace. So, if a freelancer actually created a theme good enough to sell there, then the client is making pure profit after he sells this theme to 2 buyers, minus whatever percentage you pay to the marketplace site.

 

The job's still open, freelancers! There's a handful of applicants already but only 1 has been interviewed.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce


@John K wrote:

Ok, I'm going to be careful here not to violate guidelines, there's a job posted a few days ago that asks for a WordPress theme to be developed so that the client can sell it at a large theme marketplace. The budget for this job is barely what it costs to buy 2 themes at this very marketplace. So, if a freelancer actually created a theme good enough to sell there, then the client is making pure profit after he sells this theme to 2 buyers, minus whatever percentage you pay to the marketplace site.

 

The job's still open, freelancers! There's a handful of applicants already but only 1 has been interviewed.


Morally, I think that's bad. However, I'm not clear on the ToS in this matters. If the client has documentation that transfers ownership of freelancers theme to said Client, then the client is free to do whatever with it.  At least I think that's how it goes.

 

I've signed agreements to hand-over anything new I created on behalf of clients, but 9 times out of 10 it's something propriatary that only the client can use.

Don't all rush at once...

 

 

 

 

You will have to rewrite in English 10-12 articles that I'll give you and then create at least 10 slides for every article. Our budget is 5 dollars.

How about 3-5 page WordPress websites for $10, and deliver by Mar 4, 2015. Good news is it's "simple and basic", just couple of forms and a slideshow.

 

13 freelancers have applied, one with a rate of almost $40, so I guess this can be done in 15 minutes.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce


@Ramon B wrote:

Don't all rush at once...

 

 

 

 

You will have to rewrite in English 10-12 articles that I'll give you and then create at least 10 slides for every article. Our budget is 5 dollars.


That's not a budget...it's a dollar store shopping spree!

 

(I'm gonna use that next time I get a lowball invite)  

I received an invite a few days ago to write 5000 word books for $50. I actually accepted the interview and told the client I would need a minimum of $300 to write a book of this size and that depended on the topic and how much research I would have to put in.

 

His counter offer--$275 for the first book and the $5 for every book after that. He wants to do (in his words), a volume deal.

 

I told him thanks but no thanks.

The world turns upside down. Finally, an article job poster with reasonable requirements! Smiley Surprised

 

 

 

 

 

Create 3 Small Articles of around 120 words each - Native English Speakers ONLY - Newbies Welcome! Fixed Price - Est. Budget: $5 - Posted 11 minutes ago Hello, We need a few writers to create small articles of around 150 words. Must have PERFECT grammar and spelling. English Native Speakers only please. Newbies welcome. We pay $5 for the 3 articles. I will leave 5* review and a recommendation on your profile. Thank you!

Are you being serious, Ramon? Even mentioning feedback as an incentive to apply for a job is against the spirit, if not the T&Cs, of the site. The client should give five-star feedback if the job done deserves five stars, and he/she cannot possibly know that till it's done. It would have been better if the price was higher and feedback not mentioned.

No, this one seems fair, it's better than the usual..

 

5 1000 word artices for $15

No freelancers from....

Must be available from...

Must had the perrfect grammer ans speling

No time wasters

No agencies

IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THESE CONDITIONS DO NOT APPLY, I WILL REPORT YOU TO ODESK [never really understood how they can do that] AND GIVE YOU BAD FEEDBACK!!!!!

(N.B Not a real post overworked moderators)

 

Yes, this job is still badly paid, but it requires a lot fewer words than most of the article jobs, and at least the client is courteous and has a good understanding of English themselves.

 

 

 

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