Crazy Job Postings

[pandoraharper]

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

Here's something I saw tonight:

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

One word: Sheesh!

[prestonhunter]

Nothing wrong with that job posting. If I was OIL, I would contact the client.

[nullagarrido]

lol Preston!

We must find a freelancer named Oil then and let him/her/it know then!

😉

[jolash]

Natalia: I am not a betting man , but on this occasion , I can bet you 20 connects that some contractors applied for the Job posting (on oil) am I right ?

[suznee]

Sno Cone Maker and Cashier ...

I would like to know how someone can be a sno cone maker online 😛

[pandoraharper]

I frequently come across jobs that require someone to be on-site either full or part time. While oDesk is primarily a virtual job board, as far as I know, listing on-site jobs is not against the TOS.

Having said this, as Suzanne mentions above, what the heck is up with hiring a sno cone machine user and cashier online. Sheesh, just put a "hiring" sign in the front window of your store. I've gotten any number of retail jobs through simply walking into a shopping center or down a main street.

I could be wrong about the TOS, and if so, somebody beat me with a wet noodle! Heh.

[prestonhunter]

I think Pandora's right. I think it's totally fine to post location-specific jobs.

It's not really playing to oDesk's strength, but if clients like using oDesk and want to hire through oDesk, but want to do so locally, more power to them. As long as this is clear in the job description, I think it's fine.

The more happy clients there are on oDesk, but better the platform is for contractors.

[pandoraharper]

---

@Preston H wrote:

I think Pandora's right. I think it's totally fine to post location-specific jobs.

It's not really playing to oDesk's strength, but if clients like using oDesk and want to hire through oDesk, but want to do so locally, more power to them. As long as this is clear in the job description, I think it's fine.

The more happy clients there are on oDesk, but better the platform is for contractors.

---

I'm all for happy clients, but after some consideration of this matter, I'm not so sure how this CAN be legal. After all, if you hire someone to come on-site to your physical location, are they still going to pay the worker through oDesk? Has anyone had experience working on-site with a client who had to report payments to the "corporate office" through their own propertiary systems? I don't really see how this would work.

In my retail experiance, for example, everything was managed through their own systems, and they would not have been able to hire an "independent contractor" even if they wanted to.

[prestonhunter]

First of all, it is completely legal. Contractors work on site all over the country every day.

Second, if this was illegal, the problem would be with the law, not oDesk. We should all work to eliminate legal restrictions to success, prosperity, and human rights, not support MORE legal restrictions to these things. Technology, including oDesk, can be one of the great tools for reducing the tyranny of a bloated, anti-freedom legal system.

[suznee]

The job was so uninformative though. The description was just Cashier and Sno Cone Maker lol.. no location, no we are looking for someone to work our store blah blah blah..

That is why I thought it was weird. BTW it had 0 applicants

[prestonhunter]

re: "BTW it had 0 applicants"

The job posting for a sno cone operator had 0 applicants?

This is an encouraging sign. As there was no location specified, this was a very stupid job posting.

But previously, this job posting would have had dozens of applicants, from the spam job appliers who apply randomly to every job.

If this job posting had zero applicants, I take it as a sign that oDesk's efforts to cut down on spam job applications via the Connects system have been helping.

If serious clients receive fewer spam job applications and receive a higher proportion of quality applications appropriate to their job, then this will be good for me, personally, as a contractor. Because it will mean that more high-quality clients will be on oDesk, and more high-quality jobs will be available to me.

[suznee]

Preston,

I agree it is a good sign. Checked the job posting again today and it still has 0 applicants. It is interesting because you are right at one time it would have had dozens of spam applicants, and 4 days into the posting it still has 0 applicants.

[prestonhunter]

re: "a good sign"

True story: A few months ago I was doing a job for job postings using the key word "Japanese," so that my wife could see what types of Japanese translation jobs were available at the time. (She is not an oDesk contractor, but she is thinking about starting an account and doing some translation work, something she has done professionally, but not via oDesk.)

I saw a number of jobs which required translating English to Japanese and which were clearly specified as intended for Japnese natives only. But the majority of the applicants' names were clearly Indian or Bangladeshi, and when one clicked on the profiles of the applicants, their profile descriptions identified them as web designers or data entry professionals, with no mention of translation as a skill and no mention of Japanese as a language that they speak. They were clearly spam applications posted by "contractors" who were not even reading job postings.

[gd90]

That phenomena makes me think those applicants were using some sort of bidding bot. Even if an oblivious client were to hire an Indian web designer to translate into Japanese, what was that contractor going to do next? The typical spam applications I used to see were logo designers applying for video editing jobs. They probably had a pirated copy of some video editing s/w and thought they could pull off the job, but Japanese translation?

[battershall-ramo]

i work this job to have a good advise to me and it is helpful to me for having this is a salary for me

Another plea for work masquerading as a job. Category: Editing and Proofreading!

[prestonhunter]

re: "Another plea for work masquerading as a job."

Whenever I see these I immediately flag them as inappropriate. In my experience, oDesk has done a good job removing these when I flag them.

[whogg72]

I really, really, REALLY want to post the link to a job posting I just saw, but know it will be gone by tomorrow morning.

Just do a search that includes the terms "creative", "thinkers", "wanted", "to," "learn," together" (get my gist?)....Incredibly convoluted, confusing, and really, really, really not sure what the person is looking for...

[prestonhunter]

re: do a search that includes the terms "creative", "thinkers", "wanted", "to," "learn," together"

Hmmm... I couldn't find the job when (out of curiosity) I looked for it. Maybe it has been taken down or set on hold now.

Certainly sounds unusual. But my basic philosophy is this:

If a client wants to try something unusual or "out of the box," that's fine, as long as the client is paying the contractors, regardless of whether the idea works or is fruitful.

If the client is being "creative" or unusual in a way that means they aren't paying the contractor money through oDesk, then the job has no place on oDesk.

[vorion]

Hello, Everyone

Today, I found this Job post. 

Here is the job post of a guy who wants an assistant... 

 _____________________________________________

**edited for Community Guidelines**

Beware of these guys, all ladies.. you might be chatting with an assistant.. 

       

[prestonhunter]

re: "a guy who wants an assistant"

I think that's an awesome job posting.

Here's the thing, though...

For a guy like this, I imagine that a lot of the girls he would be interested in dating would (if they were being honest) tell him:

"You had me at 'I have enough money that I have an assistant to manage my dating site profiles for me.'"

Who says romance is dead?

[vorion]

Preston,

He has spent over 3000$ on these assistances. He has paid even 12-16$ per hour for few female assistants. Maybe he is trying to figure out his potential dates using feminine assistants.

Romance is not just dead, Brutally murdered in Cold blood...

Where do these guys get such ideas? Any idea, Preston? 

I think the guy took the Social Media Marketing to a whole new level.

Update: Sadly, Valeria edited the post. I thought posting links, exposing the clients were considered as Violation of Community guidelines.. What did I do??!!!

[pandoraharper]

---

@Pravin K wrote:

Preston,

He has spent over 3000$ on these assistances. He has paid even 12-16$ per hour for few female assistants. Maybe he is trying to figure out his potential dates using feminine assistants.

Romance is not just dead, Brutally murdered in Cold blood...

Where do these guys get such ideas? Any idea, Preston? 

I think the guy took the Social Media Marketing to a whole new level.

Update: Sadly, Valeria edited the post. I thought posting links, exposing the clients were considered as Violation of Community guidelines.. What did I do??!!!

---

---

I'm going to guess that your initial post included a link to the job in question.  This is a Forum Community Violation. I love that this thread is still active. And appreciate you posting. Having said this....

Let me take this opportunity (yet again) to remind everyone that posting: 

• A Job Post Link
• Direct Copy Of the Job Post text
• Job Post link to Client Profile

These are all Forum Community Violations and will result in your post being edited or deleted.

Don't let that stop you, however, from posting crazy and weird jobs that catch your eye. If your not sure how to post legally in this thread, look at other posts that have already been submitte in the thread.

[mlceron]

Once (I think in February or so) I received an invitation to a job posting, from a guy that was looking for a "latina" as a partner, since he lives in San Francisco and apparently there are not enough "latinas" over there.

He was offering usd 500 to the person that finds him a woman willing to move to San Francisco... uhmm Red flags all over the place!

When I looked at his profile, it was very professional with tons of good reviews (related to professional business) and seemed legit. But how do I know this guy is not a serial killer, really, how oDesk allows this type of jobs here? I bet he found many freelancers willing to do it...

I turned it down of course! But I was a newbie and I didn't know anything about flagging, now I know better...

[suznee]

I came across one yesterday, looked like he has spent a lot of money and hired quite a few contractors, Job posting stated if you bid over $1.00 your application will be rejected. If you are hired or before hired, try to contact me on skype, email, or any other way but on oDesk (I assume he posted this before the change) you will be fired and reported.

WOW!! I want to work for him... oh joy! Not!

[prestonhunter]

re: "Job posting stated if you bid over $1.00 your application will be rejected."

But just to be clear... I COULD earn an entire dollar if I worked for this fine gentleman?

[stephenbrightman]

Well, $.9091 actually....