Crazy Job Postings

[#1]

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

Here's something I saw tonight:

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

One word: Sheesh!

[#2]

As the orginal OP of this thread, I'd like to remind everyone that Job Post links are not allowed in forum posts. Thank you for your attention. 🙂

Also, RE:  the most recent posts regarding scammy clients looking for women.  One word. Ewww!

If and when this ever happens to me, I will flag the client, report him, and then hack him.

Uh, actually no, I won't hack. I'll hire a hacker. Uh no, I won't actually do that either. But I will want to! These users don't deserve to have an Upwork account. Pure and simple.

[#3]

Pandora, if I recall correctly, there was nothing at all scammy about one of the recently discussed clients looking for women.

You may disagree with how he uses assistants to help him with his social media tasks, but he paid $3000 to virtual assistants for this work. And he was honest about what he is hiring people to do.

Is he dishonest with the women he flirts with online? Maybe. It's a bit unusual. But that's different from being a scammy client.

ANOTHER client recently discussed was looking for women among the people he hires, and he IS both scammy and predatory, and you are right to want him gone from Upwork.

[#4]

---

@Preston H wrote:
Pandora, if I recall correctly, there was nothing at all scammy about one of the recently discussed clients looking for women.

You may disagree with how he uses assistants to help him with his social media tasks, but he paid $3000 to virtual assistants for this work. And he was honest about what he is hiring people to do.

Is he dishonest with the women he flirts with online? Maybe. It's a bit unusual. But that's different from being a scammy client.

ANOTHER client recently discussed was looking for women among the people he hires, and he IS both scammy and predatory, and you are right to want him gone from Upwork.

---

Preston, I was of course refering to the "scammy and predatory" type clients. While I do wonder a little bit about job posts that ask for female applicants only, most of them are not looking for anything scammy. At least up front.

Like you, I'm very serious about providing professional services to my clients. Am I wrong in wanting the same in return from them?  No, but everyone is different, and the line should be drawn somewhere.

It's sad seeing all the reports in the forums about newbie freelancers who get stuck dealing with these clowns. We really need that "Scam" flag option, as well as maybe something else that relates to the scammy client that just wanst to video chat newbie female freelancers.

[#5]

I've been meaning to ask this to someone. Why no transparency? When clients know our name to the complete biodata without talking a word to us, what harm will a real copy paste or screenshot of the corrupt clients do? Mostly it will help freelancers identify corrupt clients. So, why is upwork guarding the secrecy of this? Why is the community forum alive if the forum is all about back biting about x, y and z. How is it helping anybody? Yes, we're having a coffee break. 

But, seriously, come to think of it, Upwork is very shady about the clients, why? 

Pandora, will you clear the doubt before they kick me outta this community? 
PS: Today has been a horrendous day with a client rating me 2.85, with no background to the scoring. Pardon my anguish, I have never been rated so bad. And I am sure that it is going to kill my success score. Well, I hope you answer this soon. 

Good Day!

[#6]

Rightly said. There is no transparency in the system. The main idea behind Upwork these days is that freelancers like us NEED to earn money here. I don't believe that. Most of us are here because we don't like the customary 9-5 job, have a passion for what we do, and want to work for ourselves. Upwork is no longer a platform having a healthy blend of freelancers providing their services, and clients getting them (as was Elance, God I miss Elance). Upwork is just about the clients now, be it any aspect. Like charging 10% from freelancers fees? Why not split it 5-5? After all, clients also are here because they want a benefit. Or the negative feedback or the transparency. It is always the freelancers who take a hit.
Just yesterday, i saw a job posting from a client (Payment method unverified of course) asking people for writing services.
Number of proposals- 10 to 15. Interviews- 14. 
I knew it was a scam, nevertheless, i applied (submitted a job proposal containing only hello 😄 ) Surprisingly, got a message from the client few minutes later. No hello, No hi. Directly, write an article on this topic, submit it my 24 hours. I didn't even care to reply and flagged the job posting. Sadly, today I logged in and see the number of interviews is 22 and the job is still active, people are still applying and worst,many newbies might be getting duped. 
These are the double standards i despise. I flagged the job, Upwork doesn't care.
But a bad review from a client( I haven't received any, still my JS 72%) and Upwork will make your life hell. 

[#7]

Dear Geo Maria

We all sit in the same boat for as long as we choose to.

I had an UW-client just a short while ago through a friend of mine. I delivered and he gave me a baaad evaluation. My friend talked to him on my behalf, so to my surprise, his only defense was that he had a bad day and let it out on me. He apologized to me through the UW messenger.

I switched him free for an evaluation upgrade and he set it to 5.0. Damage was seemingly done already, my JSS dropped 5% (I had no other job on the platform in those 2 weeks).

I am just happy that I chose to work mostly off the platform and am not directly financially impacted by the way everything is handled on the platform!

Wish u lots of luck though on here.

Regards

Thomas

[#8]

I was checking out my job feeds this afternoon, and came across this. I really wish I could just link to it. I think this sort of job has been discussed elsewhere in the forums, but with 5 current applicants, I have to wonder.

Category: Civil and Structural Engineering

Client Status: New, Unverified

Fixed Price, $30,000

Hiring: 99 Freelancers

Job Description: severaly lacking in details, but it does mention "free facilities".

I seriously doubt this is a real job.

[#9]

Pandora, the job you describe is clearly not a real job, but is simply somebody messing around with the Upwork client-side interface,
Using a fake account.

[#10]

---

@Preston H wrote:
Pandora, the job you describe is clearly not a real job, but is simply somebody messing around with the Upwork client-side interface,
Using a fake account.

---

Thanks for that clarification, Preston. What I find really odd is that I have actually seen with my own eyes something extremenly similiar more then once, though not for a couple of years.

Odd because why would however many random, fake account users would post something so similiar each time. Almost like it's a template that is available to all (though I do not belive that is true).

[#11]

Pandora,

I don't know what's behind the job posting. I'm just guessing.

But I can't imagine anybody is really trying to hire "99 civil/structural engineers" (!) on Upwork, and offering free facilities, unless they're a fictional global criminal organization from a James Bond film.

A new, payment-UN-verified client offering 99 contractors fixed-price jobs at $30,000 each? Doesn't make any sense at all.

[#12]

Okay, out of morbid curiosity I actually looked for and found the job that Pandora was describing.

The "client" has posted just this 1 job (using his current presumably fake account), has been a member since yesterday (May 14) and has a 0% hire rate.

Currently there are 11 applicants, but they are interviewing zero people thus far.

The job posting has two questions it asks of applicants, which are simply two really dumb Upwork-provided template questions. Certainly not the kind of thoughtful questions I would expect a client to ask if they need to hire "99 freelancers".

The job posting specifically states that it is hiring people to work for the "best company around the world."

So I guess if we just did a Google search and looked up what the best company in the world is, we would know which unnamed company actually posted this job posting.

It's nice that they "pay all workers well", provide free facilities, provide the best services, and allow workers to work for them from any part of the world.

I wonder about what kind of "free facilities" are provided by a company hiring remote work-from-home workers? It sounds like they offer free bathrooms, which sounds great, but I'm not sure how that would benefit me, as I have bathrooms in my home and would rather use those than travel to this company's "free facilities." Maybe this job posting is intended to appeal to people who have computers, good Internet service, but no bathrooms in their country.

The job description is not only "lacking" in details about the job... It literally does not mention anything at all about what they want you do to. The only information in the "job description" section is telling you what a great company they are and what they offer you.

How many of you out there think there's any chance of earning money from this? (Don't all raise your hands at once.)

[#13]

It sounds like a recruiter for places like Saudi Arabia where foreign workers are housed in compounds for their one year contract.

[#14]

It's funny how most of the job postings here (I didn't read every page; just 3 or 4) could be from another freelancer running late on deadlines/quota.

Specially with jobs like "Apply only if you can work NOW!" demands and those "write 5000 word ebook for $50".

Seriously, I would flag those jobs if I didn't have so much work at the moment.

Speaking of which, maybe oDesk (fine, UpWork) should hire someone to flag scammers and/or potential scam postings. At least someone gets easy work.

[#15]

re: Specially with jobs like "Apply only if you can work NOW!" demands...

Upwork is actually making efforts to push this as a major new feature on Upwork... offering clients the ability to hire somebody RIGHT NOW, and offering contractors an opportunity to work for such clients.

I think it is a great idea, and I wholeheartedly support the advancement of tools which let clients and contractors who want this type of arrangement get together to do so. As a client, I have sometimes used hired people RIGHT NOW, and as a contractor I have sometimes felt like doing that type of work.

[#16]

CellPhone Reair & Store

Needs to hire 10 Freelancers

...

NOTE AND READ!  DO not bid if you are new to upwork and or under 500 hours  you will be reported and ignored.

...

This job is for a new client that wants a site that they can sell cellphones of all major brands, and also service them, sell the parts,  and do repairs on them..

...

You will be also making sites looking properly aligned, so auto size, and also proper spelling and grammar, user friendly, fast, secure, and bright looking.

...

Thanks to all that apply, only those with the respected hours and also the high feedback will be contacted

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's see, I think it's "Repair", not "Reair". "new to upwork" is redundant if 500 hours are required. Can freelancers actually be "reported" for not reading the job description? I bet customer service just *loves* getting such reports from a client with an unverified payment method. What's the difference between "service them" and "do repairs on them?" "proper spelling and grammar"? I guess this means do as I say, not as I do. "respected hours" sounds so much nicer than required hours. But alas I have a measly 436 hours.  Only 1 applicant so far--no accounting for taste. 

[#17]

That is one heck of a bad job description. First the spelling and bad grammer. But this especially caught my eye, and I don't even offer web dev services:

"You will be also making sites looking properly aligned, so auto size, and also proper spelling and grammar, user friendly, fast, secure, and bright looking."

In other words, mobile responsive, and with a Web 2.0 aesthetic. If this was posted by a US company, I'd not belive thats true.

[#18]

---

@Pandora H wrote:

If this was posted by a US company, I'd not belive thats true.

---

 Funny you should mention it, the "client" claimed to represent a large US company. By the way, I only excerpted the *highlights* of the job listing, so to speak, so someone put a fair amount of *work* into it. There was another section that mentioned an unpaid test task, so my guess is it's an attempt at a free work scam, but then why insist on 500 hours?? Too bad they didn't spellcheck it, which they claimed they would do on all work submitted, but I was entertained so no complaints.

[#19]

There's a lot of complaining aout job descriptions being too short on here; but maybe some of them are short because they're self evident?

Fair enough ... like this one?

Job title: 

You tube editer/advertiser

Fixed price:    $1

Job description:

"Self explanatory"

Duuhhhh

[#20]

---

@Stephen B wrote:

There's a lot of complaining aout job descriptions being too short on here; but maybe some of them are short because they're self evident?

Fair enough ... like this one?

Job title: 

You tube editer/advertiser

Fixed price:    $1

Job description:

"Self explanatory"

Duuhhhh

---

Puhlease, Stephen, tell me that's a newbie client. I mean, if they actually have done any hiring, then they should be fully aware of the current pricing restrictions. Disclaimer: I don't do fixed price anymore, and just realised I am not sure of the current rules about fixed priced job pricing.

[#21]

re: "...they should be fully aware of the current pricing restrictions. Disclaimer: I don't do fixed price anymore, and just realised I am not sure of the current rules about fixed priced job pricing."

Two points:

1) I don't think there are actually price restrictions on fixed-price contracts. It may be dumb, but as far as I know, there are no restrictions preventing a client from creating a $1.00 fixed-price contract.

2) A client posting a $1.00 fixed-price contract may not actually intend to pay only one dollar, but may simply have filled in $1 to fill a required spot, and may not know how much the project will cost. It shows a bit of lack of foresight and experience to do that, but it doesn't mean they're a ridiculous client. They may simply not realize how this would look to potential contractors.

I personally have worked jobs where clients told me they put down a pretty random number in the budget or payment spot, because they had no idea how much it would take to do something, and they just wanted to get the jost posted and then talk to actual clients to get realistic bids.

[#22]

Thank you Preston, for clarifying those details.

I've head that some clients do what you describe, and I have no issue with that. I won't bid on those jobs personally, but I don't belive their are not "legit" simply becuse of that one thing.

It's fair to say however, that most things with low paying rates don't get clicks from me, unless I see something about the job that totally overrules the pay factor. It's happened, but it's rare.

I've been pretty vocal about how good clients can appear to be non-legit or otherwise questionable because of their bad job descriptions, and I am still waiting to hear what Upwork is doing about that.

Partially for my own sake, but also for the sake of new Freelancers who come on to Upwork, are understandibly overwhelmed by the new system, and then get scammed because they don't know how to "interpret" job posts.

[#23]

Preston,

You raise an intriguing point, but if there are any clients reading this, they should be aware that at least *some* freelancers, myself for example, will not bother applying to any job that has what looks like an unreasonably low budget.

[#24]

Most of the clients I've seen that place such a small amount in the budget because they don't know the cost write in the job posting that the budget is a placeholder.

If I see this, then I would be more inclined to apply.

[#25]

You guys are all correct in what you point out. IF a client is putting in low budget numbers, it is DUMB if they are actually a reasonable client the looking for good contractors.

Yes, most contractors will ignore job postings from clients who make mistakes like that, or whose postngs are vague, confusing...

Just saying that there ARE some good clients out there with real money to spend on real projects... But who are neophyte Upwork users whose job postings have problems.

Many of my clients are newbie Upwork clients, but they still pay well.

[#26]

I found a good one tonight, they want to mail you a picture and have them tell them if it is a wart or skin tag, Paying for an hours work... Was not a unverified actually someone who has spent over $10,000 on Upwork .. I was almost tempted to apply.