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pandoraharper
Member

Crazy Job Postings

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

 

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

 

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

 

Here's something I saw tonight:

 

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

 

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

 

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

 

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

 

One word: Sheesh!

 

 

 

ACCEPTED SOLUTION
andregutierrez22
Moderator
Moderator

Hi all,

 

We are closing this thread due to its size. Feel free to visit this new thread if you'd like to continue sharing your experience with odd and curious jobs.

 

We encourage you to have fun and discuss your experience. That said, please be mindful of our Community Guidelines and refrain from posting links to job postings, names of persons or companies, or any other identifying information. Additionally, if you come across a job that violates Upwork TOS, please flag it as inappropriate following the steps outlined here.

 

~Andrea
Upwork

View solution in original post

2,171 REPLIES 2,171

I just saw a posting that wanted to pay $10 to proofread 70,000 words. And they wanted you to count every typing mistake you found and let them know how many there were.

 

But apparently it's a "very enjoyable read" so I guess it's okay. The really sad thing is there are already seven applicants with an average bid of $7.50.

 

And to top it all off, this isn't even a job that's designated as a good fit. I guess if you take the budget into account it's not but I thought they didn't look at bugets.

 

 

re: "I just saw a posting that wanted to pay $10 to proofread 70,000 words."

How big are the words?

But apparently it's a "very enjoyable read" so I guess it's okay. The really sad thing is there are already seven applicants with an average bid of $7.50.

Somebody said "WUW! TAN dollors tu prufreed savunty thowzind werds!?# Thets a lart iv munny! I kan du batter thin that! Ayl taykk fayve dullards!!

Looks like the client used Google Translate! Haha

I just saw a job posting from a "client" looking for a graphic designer to join their "team". They need 5-25 logos done per week and they pay fantastic $1.5 per logo. Client's average hourly rate paid is $2.49. Already 10 proposals...

...as Darth Vader would say: "Impressive....most impressive..."

It's unbelievable, isn't it. And of course someone will take the work.

 

I received an invite this morning to design a totally awesome large conferance sign with about 4-5 images of artwork and photos (all supplied by me of course).

 

The budget ... $15.

 

I like when it's an invite, because then I get to tell the client working for free doesn't pay the bills.


@Sanja D wrote:

I just saw a job posting from a "client" looking for a graphic designer to join their "team". They need 5-25 logos done per week and they pay fantastic $1.5 per logo. Client's average hourly rate paid is $2.49. Already 10 proposals...

...as Darth Vader would say: "Impressive....most impressive..."


@That's just sad. Having said this, @Sanja, feel free to head over to this thread for chuckles and grins:

 

Crazy Job Postings: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Coffee-Break/Crazy-Job-Postings/m-p/134063#M8429


@Pandora H wrote:

@Sanja D wrote:

I just saw a job posting from a "client" looking for a graphic designer to join their "team". They need 5-25 logos done per week and they pay fantastic $1.5 per logo. Client's average hourly rate paid is $2.49. Already 10 proposals...

...as Darth Vader would say: "Impressive....most impressive..."


@That's just sad. Having said this, @Sanja, feel free to head over to this thread for chuckles and grins:

 

Crazy Job Postings: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Coffee-Break/Crazy-Job-Postings/m-p/134063#M8429


Funny, Pandora ... I was thinking that's where it should go, too. Although that post has gotten rather lengthy. We can start a new one. Part II.

 

lol I'd LOVE to see what they get. Reminds me of the chick in the designer section with a portfolio full of stick figures with the spraycan tool in Paint. lol

 

I get spam emails from SEO exparts who tell me that they have 1500 designers on staff. I figure this is where they get their 1500 and they post jobs like yours.

Sure, I got my master's degree just to tackle $10 jobs, of course!!!!

Geeeeeeeeeeeeez

vedney
Member

I think I actually saw that post.

Even where I live, $7.50 can't buy you more than a pizza.


@Calvin B wrote:
I think I actually saw that post.

Even where I live, $7.50 can't buy you more than a pizza.

But is it a really large pizza with lots of toppings? Cat Tongue 

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

Get my pizzas from a Zen Buddhist pizzeria just round the corner. They make me one with everything

 

Smiley FrustratedSmiley Very Happy

I have actually been hiring oDesk contractors from India to make pizza for me. Great pizzas. They only charge $3/hr so I save a ton on labor. Unfortunately the shipping charges have been way more than I thought they would be, so I'm thinking about looking for a local pizzeria again.

Ha. Something like that would cost more than twice that much.

johntatlock
Member

Haven't read the whole thread, so forgive me if someone already posted this completely unfathomable one:

 

"Electronic music
Audio Production

Posted 3 days ago
Hourly Job
Part Time
1 to 3 months
Entry Level
I am looking for freelancers with the lowest rates

 

Job Description

 

just be a FREE DJ"

 

That's it. No other information. Apart from an attachment of the most annoying music ever made, which I've uploaded for your edification:

https://soundcloud.com/john-tatlock/worlds-best-dj/s-XGdgl

Didn't the CIA use something like that to extract confessions? 30 seconds and I've already got a headache.

Here's one who doesn't appear to be shy about their lack of moral scruples...

 

Thesis academic writer

 

I need somebody who is qualified at doing thesis theoretical framework (10 pages as a sample).
please we need some one work regarding copy and paste and research methodology concepts

 

 

The ones that kill me are:

 

"I have done this for many years I know what it takes, this should only take you 15 minutes, I would do it myself but I do not have time"

 

....

 

They spent 15 minutes posting the job wtf.

LOL. There should be a law against such 'tormenting vocals' or something. Seriously. 

No, don't go crazy Rockefeller, you shouldn't be splashing such phenomenal sums around...

 

 

The $25 budget is just a random number, obviously it won't be even remotely to that number,

You will be asked to answer the following questions when applying:

 

  1. Please despicable me about your Wordpress experience / expertise.
__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

Seriously, should I flag the job posted by this 'client' as inappropriate? 31 open jobs since October with 0% hired and payment method not verified?

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

John,

Regarding the client whose profile shows they have posted 35 jobs, but have hired zero people thus far, and currently have 31 open jobs...

 

Obviously experienced and knowledgeable contractors such as ourselves here on the community forum are wise enough to NOT apply to a job with such a "client."

 

Some newbies might, though.

 

But oDesk has made recent announcements about cleaning up their client lists and removing people like this. I believe them. Obviously this is detrimental to the site, and I think that oDesk really is working on new back-end algorithms to help them locate and suspend the accounts of people who post jobs but don't hire.


@Preston H wrote:

 

Obviously experienced and knowledgeable contractors such as ourselves here on the community forum are wise enough to NOT apply to a job with such a "client."

 

Some newbies might, though.

 


 So you would think, but as of now, there are 64 applicants for the last job posted by the 'client' in question, and of the most recent 8 applicants, 4 have 1458, 350, 539, and 197 hours at oDesk. Are they the sort who send spam applications to every posted job then? Regardless, something like this could be the basis of a client 'Job Success' score--too many open jobs with no hires should have negative consequences for clients.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

66 applicants now--the 2 latest have 4871 and 747 hours between them!

 

I thought I would be proactive and flag the job as inappropriate, but none of the choices are appropriate. It isn't SPAM unless posting jobs and never hiring is a form of SPAM. It isn't phishing/fraud either, although it *is* fraud in the sense that the 'client' probably has no intention of hiring anyone. If I did apply, maybe I'll get a request for free work or work outside oDesk, but I'm not applying just to report the job.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce


@John K wrote:

You will be asked to answer the following questions when applying:

 

  1. Please despicable me about your Wordpress experience / expertise.

 

I was right in the middle of sipping a cup of tea when I read that.  My keyboard thanks you. 

I know people are desperate for work now, but still...

 

 

 

 

TRYING TO GET PREGNANT? Volunteers & Paid Fixed Price - Est. Budget: $5

@Ramon - I think that's the worst one I've seen on this thread. Were there any applicants?

I cheated a little Smiley Very Happy

 

It was actually about people who would blog about their attempts to get pregnant; people prepared to share the most intimate moments of their lives with complete strangers for the pricely sum of $5.

elbiggus
Member

"Write a book

Fixed price - Est. budget $1000

 

write a book about haryy potter"

 

To compound the silliness it's filed under "academic writing"...

Design a simple but professional looking wordpress site with multimedia contents. The site emphasizes on video sharing and blogging.

You will be offered an hourly rate of $3.00.

 

The shortest time and lowest rate will get the job.

 

I guess the client wasn't aware that $3.00/hr is the oDesk minimum. 

Here's his hiring record: $2.73/hr AVG HOURLY RATE PAID

526 Hours
 
He even requires this (English level): Fluent - Has complete command of this language with perfect grammar
 
As a US citizen I'm ashamed this individual lives in the US.

 

 

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

5  Page Essay in regards to a software company. 4 questions to research and needs to be complete in 48 hours .025c per word.

 

What is interesting on this he has quite a few jobs and they are all essay papers which makes me think the guy is a student having someone else do his work

 

Some of the completed jobs

 

Pre-Calc Math Problems to be Solved

Consumer Behavior Paper

Paper on Nelson Mandela

Art History Paper

 

 

 

If someone's going to hire others to do course work, the least they can do is not wait until the last minute. Cat Tongue

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

Yeah, I can write a book on this subject..Smiley Very Happy

I know a man from my grandparents' village.. He is very hairy and he is also a potter...

I guess I have to write about this Hairy Potter.. Smiley Tongue

$1000.. that's a good money thoughSmiley Tongue

pandoraharper
Member

 

 

OMG. I'm not looking for work, but today I wondered if one of my job search terms would still work after the new Catagory update.

 

And, on the very first page results for that term, I see that some random client in Canada (an established one, with a great hourly pay even) has copied, verbatim, a job description one of my clients used for an open job this week.

 

It's a big job description, and my client spent hours writing and editing the silly thing. Clients, please, don't steal other clients job descriptions. It's scammy. Write your own, for goodness sakes.

 

Disclaimer: Not naming names. nope, no siree.

Your qualifications:

- A complete Elance profile

- References or an established reputation on Elance preferred

 

Someone tell this client he's on oDesk, not Elance. Cat Tongue

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

A cross between an academic and a magician???

 

 

 

The Acadmecian i can write for academicians and research articles.

nullagarrido
Member

What about this job (attached screen grab)?

 

Translate a sentence: $1.50

 

They've been interviewing 3 people for over a day.

 

If it wasn't for connects I would just apply and translate it for them in 20 seconds for free! (Just kidding..., but come on!)

 

Seriously who is going to waste 2 connects on this?

 

APPARENTLY 35 PEOPLE SO FAR!

 

๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Here's my translation, free of charge,

 

Dios es una esfera inteligible, cuyo centro estรก en todas partes y su circunferencia en ninguna

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
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