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pandoraharper
Member

Crazy Job Postings

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

 

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

 

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

 

Here's something I saw tonight:

 

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

 

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

 

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

 

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

 

One word: Sheesh!

 

 

 

ACCEPTED SOLUTION
andregutierrez22
Moderator
Moderator

Hi all,

 

We are closing this thread due to its size. Feel free to visit this new thread if you'd like to continue sharing your experience with odd and curious jobs.

 

We encourage you to have fun and discuss your experience. That said, please be mindful of our Community Guidelines and refrain from posting links to job postings, names of persons or companies, or any other identifying information. Additionally, if you come across a job that violates Upwork TOS, please flag it as inappropriate following the steps outlined here.

 

~Andrea
Upwork

View solution in original post

2,171 REPLIES 2,171

Okay, out of morbid curiosity I actually looked for and found the job that Pandora was describing.

 

The "client" has posted just this 1 job (using his current presumably fake account), has been a member since yesterday (May 14) and has a 0% hire rate.

 

Currently there are 11 applicants, but they are interviewing zero people thus far.

 

The job posting has two questions it asks of applicants, which are simply two really dumb Upwork-provided template questions. Certainly not the kind of thoughtful questions I would expect a client to ask if they need to hire "99 freelancers".

 

The job posting specifically states that it is hiring people to work for the "best company around the world."

 

So I guess if we just did a Google search and looked up what the best company in the world is, we would know which unnamed company actually posted this job posting.

 

It's nice that they "pay all workers well", provide free facilities, provide the best services, and allow workers to work for them from any part of the world.

 

I wonder about what kind of "free facilities" are provided by a company hiring remote work-from-home workers? It sounds like they offer free bathrooms, which sounds great, but I'm not sure how that would benefit me, as I have bathrooms in my home and would rather use those than travel to this company's "free facilities." Maybe this job posting is intended to appeal to people who have computers, good Internet service, but no bathrooms in their country.

 

The job description is not only "lacking" in details about the job... It literally does not mention anything at all about what they want you do to. The only information in the "job description" section is telling you what a great company they are and what they offer you.

 

How many of you out there think there's any chance of earning money from this? (Don't all raise your hands at once.)

It sounds like a recruiter for places like Saudi Arabia where foreign workers are housed in compounds for their one year contract.

anima9
Member

It's funny how most of the job postings here (I didn't read every page; just 3 or 4) could be from another freelancer running late on deadlines/quota.

 

Specially with jobs like "Apply only if you can work NOW!" demands and those "write 5000 word ebook for $50".

 

Seriously, I would flag those jobs if I didn't have so much work at the moment.

 

Speaking of which, maybe oDesk (fine, UpWork) should hire someone to flag scammers and/or potential scam postings. At least someone gets easy work.

re: Specially with jobs like "Apply only if you can work NOW!" demands...

 

Upwork is actually making efforts to push this as a major new feature on Upwork... offering clients the ability to hire somebody RIGHT NOW, and offering contractors an opportunity to work for such clients.

 

I think it is a great idea, and I wholeheartedly support the advancement of tools which let clients and contractors who want this type of arrangement get together to do so. As a client, I have sometimes used hired people RIGHT NOW, and as a contractor I have sometimes felt like doing that type of work.

CellPhone Reair & Store

Needs to hire 10 Freelancers

...

NOTE AND READ!  DO not bid if you are new to upwork and or under 500 hours  you will be reported and ignored.

...

This job is for a new client that wants a site that they can sell cellphones of all major brands, and also service them, sell the parts,  and do repairs on them..

...

You will be also making sites looking properly aligned, so auto size, and also proper spelling and grammar, user friendly, fast, secure, and bright looking.

...

Thanks to all that apply, only those with the respected hours and also the high feedback will be contacted

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Let's see, I think it's "Repair", not "Reair". "new to upwork" is redundant if 500 hours are required. Can freelancers actually be "reported" for not reading the job description? I bet customer service just *loves* getting such reports from a client with an unverified payment method. What's the difference between "service them" and "do repairs on them?" "proper spelling and grammar"? I guess this means do as I say, not as I do. "respected hours" sounds so much nicer than required hours. But alas I have a measly 436 hours. Cat Sad Only 1 applicant so far--no accounting for taste. Cat Tongue

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

That is one heck of a bad job description. First the spelling and bad grammer. But this especially caught my eye, and I don't even offer web dev services:

 

"You will be also making sites looking properly aligned, so auto size, and also proper spelling and grammar, user friendly, fast, secure, and bright looking."

 

In other words, mobile responsive, and with a Web 2.0 aesthetic. If this was posted by a US company, I'd not belive thats true.


@Pandora H wrote:

 

If this was posted by a US company, I'd not belive thats true.


 Funny you should mention it, the "client" claimed to represent a large US company. By the way, I only excerpted the *highlights* of the job listing, so to speak, so someone put a fair amount of *work* into it. There was another section that mentioned an unpaid test task, so my guess is it's an attempt at a free work scam, but then why insist on 500 hours?? Too bad they didn't spellcheck it, which they claimed they would do on all work submitted, but I was entertained so no complaints.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

There's a lot of complaining aout job descriptions being too short on here; but maybe some of them are short because they're self evident?

 

Fair enough ... like this one?

 

Job title: 

You tube editer/advertiser

 

Fixed price:    $1

 

Job description:

 

"Self explanatory"

 

Duuhhhh


@Stephen B wrote:

There's a lot of complaining aout job descriptions being too short on here; but maybe some of them are short because they're self evident?

 

Fair enough ... like this one?

 

Job title: 

You tube editer/advertiser

 

Fixed price:    $1

 

Job description:

 

"Self explanatory"

 

Duuhhhh


Puhlease, Stephen, tell me that's a newbie client. I mean, if they actually have done any hiring, then they should be fully aware of the current pricing restrictions. Disclaimer: I don't do fixed price anymore, and just realised I am not sure of the current rules about fixed priced job pricing.

 

 

re: "...they should be fully aware of the current pricing restrictions. Disclaimer: I don't do fixed price anymore, and just realised I am not sure of the current rules about fixed priced job pricing."

 

Two points:

 

1) I don't think there are actually price restrictions on fixed-price contracts. It may be dumb, but as far as I know, there are no restrictions preventing a client from creating a $1.00 fixed-price contract.

 

2) A client posting a $1.00 fixed-price contract may not actually intend to pay only one dollar, but may simply have filled in $1 to fill a required spot, and may not know how much the project will cost. It shows a bit of lack of foresight and experience to do that, but it doesn't mean they're a ridiculous client. They may simply not realize how this would look to potential contractors.

 

I personally have worked jobs where clients told me they put down a pretty random number in the budget or payment spot, because they had no idea how much it would take to do something, and they just wanted to get the jost posted and then talk to actual clients to get realistic bids.

Thank you Preston, for clarifying those details.

 

I've head that some clients do what you describe, and I have no issue with that. I won't bid on those jobs personally, but I don't belive their are not "legit" simply becuse of that one thing.

 

It's fair to say however, that most things with low paying rates don't get clicks from me, unless I see something about the job that totally overrules the pay factor. It's happened, but it's rare.

 

I've been pretty vocal about how good clients can appear to be non-legit or otherwise questionable because of their bad job descriptions, and I am still waiting to hear what Upwork is doing about that.

 

Partially for my own sake, but also for the sake of new Freelancers who come on to Upwork, are understandibly overwhelmed by the new system, and then get scammed because they don't know how to "interpret" job posts.

 

 

Preston,

 

You raise an intriguing point, but if there are any clients reading this, they should be aware that at least *some* freelancers, myself for example, will not bother applying to any job that has what looks like an unreasonably low budget.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

Most of the clients I've seen that place such a small amount in the budget because they don't know the cost write in the job posting that the budget is a placeholder.

 

If I see this, then I would be more inclined to apply.

You guys are all correct in what you point out. IF a client is putting in low budget numbers, it is DUMB if they are actually a reasonable client the looking for good contractors.

Yes, most contractors will ignore job postings from clients who make mistakes like that, or whose postngs are vague, confusing...

Just saying that there ARE some good clients out there with real money to spend on real projects... But who are neophyte Upwork users whose job postings have problems.

Many of my clients are newbie Upwork clients, but they still pay well.
suznee
Member

I found a good one tonight, they want to mail you a picture and have them tell them if it is a wart or skin tag, Paying for an hours work... Was not a unverified actually someone who has spent over $10,000 on Upwork .. I was almost tempted to apply. 

sarapiovesan
Member

I've just found a client (a real employer leading a respectable French company) who's offering an internship through UpWork.

He's willing to pay a symbolic amount of 5 USD for a 6 months' full-time contract, BUT the intern will receive a certificate attesting the successful completion of this work experience.

 

I win. 


@Sara P wrote:

I've just found a client (a real employer leading a respectable French company) who's offering an internship through UpWork.

He's willing to pay a symbolic amount of 5 USD for a 6 months' full-time contract, BUT the intern will receive a certificate attesting the successful completion of this work experience.

 

I win. 


Thanks for sharing that, Sara.

 

I am not sure if Upwork has specifically addressed internship jobs. But I am pretty sure this won't fly. You can't hire a contractor on Upwork and NOT pay them.

 

 

@ Sara

 

I smell free work for just a piece of paper. As a student I never endorsed internships, only if they were to bootstrap the ones that are very beginners in their area. It's like: "Hey, we are a well-know multi-national company that guarantees you a nice stage for your desired practice, but yeah instead of searching well-paid gigs you'll do it for free, because we are cool." 

 

There are some good internships, but merely having a good outcome and payment, including the most popular companies. Except for the humanistic area, where this experience comes in handy and is a must, really. But speaking of a computer-oriented domain, that's arguable.

sarapiovesan
Member

I could talk for hours about how, more than often, companies see internships just as a ready source of low-cost staffing to face peaks in workload...
In this case, the matter is serious: in Europe interniships are always paid.
If I recall it correctly, in France the minum wage for an intern is around 800 Euros monthly (a little less, if an internship is part of a university program).
Here, the employer who published this ad sees platforms like UpWork as an opportunity for law and tax avoidance (let alone labour exploitation...).

As a translator, I find fascinating how words and concepts are distorted: unpaid work can be called ยซvoluntary workยป, unpaid work + a piece of paper for college/university credits can be called ยซinternshipยป.

I don't get how such an offer could appeal European candidates...

I hear you, Sara. It couldn't be more truthful, this is a very debatable subject.

I don't know much about European tax law or labor law. (I don't care to know more, so please don't try to explain it to me.)

 

But if I run a company, then the last thing I want is some idiot young person who is dumb enough to accept a 6-month unpaid internship in Europe (where internships are all supposed to be paid) hanging around wasting the resources of my company and wasting the time of my paid employees.

 

That sounds like a horrible business decision. I'll lose more money on the coffee this intern drinks than I'll save on whatever labor he is supposedly performing. I would rather pay somebody qualified $150/hour for six hours to do the work that the intern would supposedly perform during the 6-month period of unpaid work.

Now then...

 

whether hiring an intern to work for 6 months in a European company is a good business decision, financially speaking...

 

...or whether it is legal to hire an intern to work for free for 6 months in Europe...

 

...and whether it is moral or exploitative to hire an intern to work for free for 6 months...

 

...are all separate questions.

 

A distinct question from these is whether it is acceptable to use Upwork to hire an intern to work for free for six months. I contend that this is a clear violation of Upwork's ToS agreement and client guidelines, which stipulate that cients may not ask for free work.

 

Furthermore, I recognize no distinction between "hiring an intern to work for free for six months" and "hiring an intern to work for six months and paying them $5.00".

 

So even though the Upwork user interface may technically allow a "client" to push buttons and write text which amount to performing the latter action, to do so is clearly (to me) a violation of Upwork's intended use.

You're right. I might have been a little bit off-topic with the internships debate, but all in all how it would look to have  on your profile a job named "Online internship" or "Internship for a student", people would firstly ask if Upwork is still a trustworthy outsourching market, or a place where you can get free low-quality work (5 bucks is still free work). 

 

The second question that comes into my mind: are out there people that think of an internship on a platform like Upwork, where you can really persevere and not waste time with such things?

@ Preston

 

No, the intern would work remotely (it's an offer for a SEO/web marketing specialist).

Unfortunately, in general, the legal minum wage for internships is barely sufficient to cover expenses for a shared room, meals and transportation. You put up with discomforts and hope that the experience will eventually pay off, somehow.

Maybe, some young undergraduate student might think he would prefer an unpaid "telecommute" interniship rather than a paid one, far from home and mom's cooking.

 

Regarding your thoughts about this business decision, you wouldn't believe what the economic recession left behind in Europe on moral, legal and political levels... But we're going off topic here!

zaidimariam
Member

Okay sorry for bringing this thread back to life, but I couldn't resist.

 

This client posted a job where he rather candidly asked for a 'self-proclaimed' psychic expert who can 'creatively pretend' to be a guru. This client will also give you a fake name and bio so that you can post your made-up content about your love spells and crystal balls ๐Ÿ˜•


@Mariam Fatima Z wrote:

Okay sorry for bringing this thread back to life, but I couldn't resist.

 

This client posted a job where he rather candidly asked for a 'self-proclaimed' psychic expert who can 'creatively pretend' to be a guru. This client will also give you a fake name and bio so that you can post your made-up content about your love spells and crystal balls ๐Ÿ˜•



I'm a self-proclaimed fantasy writer, Do you think that's close enough? Though on second thoughts, I think I'd be much happier creatively making up spells and divinations in my own stories.

 

Teri


@Mariam Fatima Z wrote:

Okay sorry for bringing this thread back to life, but I couldn't resist.

 

This client posted a job where he rather candidly asked for a 'self-proclaimed' psychic expert who can 'creatively pretend' to be a guru. This client will also give you a fake name and bio so that you can post your made-up content about your love spells and crystal balls ๐Ÿ˜•


@Mariam, this is supposed to be an ongoing thread. You did not bring it back to life, but did something cooler, which was contributing to it. All freelancers see weird and off jobs from time to time and I, the OP, created it so we could all share those jobs in this thread.

 

So on that note, thanks for contributing ๐Ÿ™‚

I'm assuming this is a typo but the client did post it three times.

 

The client wants a freelancer that can proofread a 1000 pages a day with each page being 275 words. This works out to 275000 words a day. The work has to be 100% error free as well as 100% original.

 

Even on my best days, I couldn't read this much let alone proofread it.

That's impossible, I could just about manage 20,000 words a day, but only if it was good - and I get the impression this won't be.

 

P.S How can you have 100% original proofreading? If upwork started giving new clients I.Q tests, I feel most would come in at around the same level as plankton.  Cat Frustrated

You said it...

 

 

There should be no more than two blocks of words before a new line - for the easy light reading otherwise people don't want to read it. (almost like this)

In Web Development, I might say the total opposite. I always reject two-line proposals, and endorse or prefer a 600+ words job poster with pinpoint specifications about the project, because this also lets me know that I won't lose time on a messaging system finding out the main concepts. This is for bigger gigs, let's say 30+ hours, if you want any type or just quick money is okay to have short descriptions,

re: "...I won't lose time on a messaging system finding out the main concepts..."

 

If it's an hourly contract, you'll be paid for the time. So in that case, it's fine. I can understand what you mean if it's a half-baked fixed-price proposal, though.

 

When I work hourly projects, it doesn't matter to me if the client hasn't done much homework or really thought about the details of a project, because I charge for my time. I'm not charging by the project. Skype calls? Email messages? Time spenting working out a project outline? That's all billable time.

 

With an hourly contract, a two-line job description doesn't mean I have a "bad client." It means I have a client who is busy doing other things and would prefer to pay me to figure things out, either on my own or with him.

"I charge for my time. I'm not charging by the project. Skype calls? Email messages? Time spenting working out a project outline? That's all billable time.

 

Yes, I agree to what you said, but I was taking into account only those fixed-price project, when let's say you calculate beforehand all the time required, everything besides that is just bloat. Hourly project, might have a better outcome for the freelancer, rather than employer, in some extent.

Wordpress

Fixed Price - Est. Budget: $5 - Posted 1 hour ago
To be announced
 
Gee, who wouldn't squander a connect on a $5 job with details 'to be announced'? Cat Tongue
 
Actually, there *are* 4 applicants, but 3 of them I think are trying to land their first Upwork job.
__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

...and flowers and kittens and baking scrummy cakes for when hubby gets back from work

 

 
****NEW Writers! **WOMEN/HOME/COOKING**25 Easy BLOG Articles! **
Fixed Price - Est. Budget: $100 - Posted 4 minutes ago
Hello! We are looking for a blog writer. Topics: Women / Make-up / Hair  / Home / Kitchen tools.
anima9
Member

I saw this just now (paraphrased)

 

it's a client from the UK with a 4.96 rating, 70% hire rate, 343 jobs posted, over $40k spent.

 

The job post is about him hiring intermediate writers for 85 articles, one article per day.

The client will tell you what to write about every week in advance.

Each article will ONLY cost 1 hour of your rate.

His average paid rate isn't quite promising at 5.16/hr. I also saw all the jobs he posted, he barely paid above $4.5

 

The client requires the following for the freelancer:

 

Intelligent

Perfect English writing skills

Can research and understand science.

All articles must be backed by studies for references

 

The client also asks:

A free sample 

All articles must be about fitness, protein synthesis, muscle hypertrophy etc

Work has to be unique and written "in a friendly tone" for a young audience.

And you have to start on Monday.

 

Maybe Jennifer M would like to try this client ๐Ÿ˜›

 

 

 

Client wants a full stack developer, specifies '$$$ Expert Level -- I am willing to pay higher rates for the most experienced freelancers' then writes, 'the starting hourly wage is between 5$ to 10$/hr' Cat Mad

 

There are 74 applicants Cat Surprised

 

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

This CLIENT?? actually seems to be a freelancer looking for joomla, opencart, wordpress, or magento work.

 

He wrote,

I am a web developer and admin assist with more than 8years experience. I have never had a single job on this platform so I am out now looking for one to do. I am ready for interview and trial job. Please hire me.

 

There are 11 'applicants' but 10 were initiated by this 'client'. There's a budget of $20 -- I hope he knows that if he 'hires' one of the applicants, he has to pay them, and not the other way around.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

John, he doesn't realize he is posting a job listing. He does not know how to use Upwork.
I always flag these types of postings and Upwork seems to take them down quickly,

It is not uncommon to see people looking for jobs posting their CV in the job postings section, fortunately it is easy to spot these, flag them and move on. But, yes, it is annoying.

Preston,

 

That's what I suspected but it's the first time I noticed something like this. Also, the number of 'applicants' caught my eye. And yes, I will flag these from now on.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce