๐Ÿˆ Community
ยป Forums ยป Coffee Break ยป Crazy Job Postings
Page options
pandoraharper
Member

Crazy Job Postings

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

 

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

 

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

 

Here's something I saw tonight:

 

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

 

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

 

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

 

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

 

One word: Sheesh!

 

 

 

ACCEPTED SOLUTION
andregutierrez22
Moderator
Moderator

Hi all,

 

We are closing this thread due to its size. Feel free to visit this new thread if you'd like to continue sharing your experience with odd and curious jobs.

 

We encourage you to have fun and discuss your experience. That said, please be mindful of our Community Guidelines and refrain from posting links to job postings, names of persons or companies, or any other identifying information. Additionally, if you come across a job that violates Upwork TOS, please flag it as inappropriate following the steps outlined here.

 

~Andrea
Upwork

View solution in original post

2,171 REPLIES 2,171
geoff55
Member

Someone looking for a pitch deck for startup funding of $300,000. Budget $5

Geoff....bring the high-rollers on!

Soooo....writers wanted....submit three stories...if I like them, I will pay for them.......

 

 

(sounds like free work to me!)

re: "Soooo....writers wanted....submit three stories...if I like them, I will pay for them......."

 

How about you pay me money. If I like your money, I'll write three stories for you.

@Preston ....Lol.....

 

Nice way to start the day...get paid before you do the job.

 

Beats getting fired after you do the job anyday....Lol.......

Yeah.....I have to say, I like Preston's way of thinking!

*Deep sigh*

 

Job budget: $30

Wanted: whole list of different writing thingies pertaining to a website

Note added: lowest bid will get the job.

 

 

(seriously?)

The writer in me always wants to bid on projects like that by interpreting the "lowest bid" as the "lowest blow" and then bid accodingly. But I don't think most of these clients would get the joke.

Job description: Writer


@Irene B wrote:

Job description: Writer


 

LOL I wish I had seen this. I had like 20 connects to kill before today's rollover charge. I would have made a proposal that just said "Money." 

zaidimariam
Member

Will this ever stop?

 

There is this one client who has posted the same job post 23 times so far since yesterday, with neat little numbering like #1 to #23. What's more, he isn't exactly famous for paying up the grand $1.5/$1.25 he is offering for 550 words (according to reviews).

 

Oh and each posting requires 5 freelancers.

Which have the headline $150 budget - doesn't mention that this is for 100+ articles

 

He actually has 32 open jobs - the other 9 are similar to the #1 to #23.

 

He rarely leaves feedback and has a 31% hire rate.

 

Yet still people apply and work for him.

Every time I see one of his I report it as spam..I opened one and read the freelancers' comments...that...is a scam in the making!

Yeah I finally reported one too and chose asking for free work as the reason lol. One of the freelancers was naive enough to do 56 articles for him and got paid for just one...I don't know why people don't do their homework before applying.

Job #24, just appeared - if nothing he is persistant

...interesting...

It seems the multiple-post, not paying guy is gone today. Not seen anything new posted by him since I logged off yesterday.

All these days I was critical of upwork. It seems the problem is not upwork, its just me. Everything seems to be a part of "greater design", which simpletons like me will never understand.

 

I was keeping a straight face for some time now, as all of my proposals are going to hidden folder. Our upwork algorithms are so powerful, it even sensed that, and making all out effort to make me laugh. If you don't believe me, read the below project descriptions:

 

....

 

hii hemnath

This is ras i would interest part time job like a freelance is it any projects are available send me mail

 

...

 

ka aap mare

 

( Meaning: what, will you be my )

...

 

I'll give all details after I choose a freelancer

 

...

 

Confidential. Top Secret. Will Discuss details at the time of interview. Trust, it will be well worth your time.

 

...

 

 

Hello!

I'd like to invite you to apply to my job. Please review the job post and
apply if you're available.

Al Mamun

 

...

 

Hi, do you have your own website/blog? If so, please do send me the url as I have other opportunities that may be of interest to you. Thanks

 

...

 

Let's find an indie game company that we can help build it's foundation.

 

...

 

i will design presntations about some drugs and information of these drugs

 

...

 

This is a very good post. I really accepted this post. I should you carry this job and useful earn money.

 

...

 

Posting applications

 

...

 

reseach

 

...

 

Title: its for a girl

i need you to help me transalte with a girl i met onlone


 

...

 

iam agree work

 

...

 

Upwork, Thank you for making me laugh!

Thank you Vadivelan,

 

You made my day!

 

Smiley Wink

mark8979
Member

Just posted my first job as a client - just checking in to see if appears on here. Smiley Sad

 

Edit - Had my first applicants. 

 

One guy had a profile header of 'hire me'

 

His cover letter was ' hire me I can do the job'

 

Mark, maybe you need to start a thread called "crazy proposals" in the client section? ๐Ÿ˜›

sk-andaleeb
Member

 

Job:

 

"General Article Writing: 1.5$/500 words. Must have great grammar, spelling, and great writing skills. Payment weekly. Must be ready to submit a payable sample. Thanks."

 

The sad part is that I did such a job almost 2 years ago and I was happy because I got my first client. I published Ezine articles at 2$ for each article. 

screeler
Member

He had me at below $8 guideline sigh....Heart.... 
 
*****article writing job that requires a minimum of 1,000 words
 
provide you with the article title and subtitles and would like you to
research and write a 1000 word article
must be high quality
future work will follow
 
Required: โ€“ Native English โ€“  complete this job quickly 
Interested in potential longer term writing assignment
 Article must be 100% original and pass copyscape  
Bid at or below the $8 guideline
 Include examples of you previous written articles in your application
 
Start your application with the word [rip off ***my word not his lol] so I can be sure you have read and understood the job description.

 


@Mariska P wrote:
He had me at below $8 guideline sigh....Heart.... 
 
*****article writing job that requires a minimum of 1,000 words
 
<snip>

 Awsome first line. Haha.

lorenpastrana
Member

Someone from the PHILIPPINES.

 

**Edited for Community Guidelines** 

 

2 proposals as of this posting. I did $3.33 back in 2010 when I started an account with Odesk, then accepted $3.33 again when I reactivated my account this year. I have increased my rate since then.

 

How can this person (client from U.S) want to pay someone for $3 and have him do more than copy and paste on word & excel? Or is he hoping that someone, who has zero hours would take his offer? Or maybe the applicant would hope for a raise after 2 weeks?

 

 

Found today

 

Job description

looking for C** developer

<really huge empty space>

looking for C** developer

 

And most funny thing - 90 proposals and 55 interviews.  Looks like client is a robot.

re: "Looks like client is a robot."

 

Not all robots are proficient at C** programming. So don't begrudge a robot the opportunity to hire a C** programmer. Do you think all French people are great chefs?

 

[On another topic, what exactly is "C** programming"? Is that like C++, but more advanced?]

that ** is from me to match community guidelines actually Cat Embarassed

After Upworks' edited version of my post (community guidelines), it didn't make sense anymore. Is there a way to just delete it?

re: "After Upworks' edited version of my post (community guidelines), it didn't make sense anymore. Is there a way to just delete it?"

 

You can not delete a post, but most people participating in the forum are able to edit their past posts by clicking on the dropdown menu in the top right corner of the post and choosing Edit.

 

I think sometimes very new participants don't yet have this ability, and sometimes a post isn't editable for a temporary amount of time. But usually one is able to edit one's own thread posts.

 

So instead of deleting the post, you could simply remove the text, or change it to something that better fits the flow of conversation.

pandoraharper
Member

What appears to be a very large job description written in the French lanuage, has this requirement:

 

English Level: Fluent - Has complete command of this language with perfect grammar.

 

New client, non-payment verified. Not sure if non-English job posts are legit, but needless to say, they should have paid a lot more attention to the job settings, and selected French as the fluency requirement.

 

Bids: 2 (both French fluent, good for them, heh)

 
vorion
Member

Anybody? ๐Ÿ˜›

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

**edited for Community Guidelines**

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

He demands first priority and everyday work.

 

Wow!!! I am awestruck!!!

a hundred and twenty whole dollars!!! Golly gee whiz mister, I can buy a mcDonalds uniform for all that money. Then i can get a real job!!!! But wait! When I'm project manager will i get a NAME TAG?! and as a freelancer The only person i'll manage is myself!!! How prestigious! 

but shoudn't that be "awestricken?" he also demands perfect English!

 

vorion
Member

Lol..
120 real dollars.. The job is still open. Final opportunity to change yours and the world's fate for the good. Anybody?

And BTW, both awestruck and awestricken are right. I got used to the first.

$120 per hour is an excellent rate for doing PHP development work. That is more than most PHP developers make.

 

The job posting you highlighted - apparently offering $120 per month - is not such a good rate.

I thought both awestruck or awestricken were probably right but i wanted to make the joke about him wanting perfect English! haha sorry!

i see crazy posts in graphic design all the time. Today i saw one that said logo for a jewelry dealer in dubai $5! I was outraged and thought id readi t just to see how far he goes. I was livid until the last sentance he said and please ignore that budget number i will pay the right price. please quote.So that was okay. 

funniest thing is when someone asks for say a logo for a website that offers a DIY fake mickey mouse watch repair instruction video. And they say don't bother applying unless you can show me at least 8 DIY fake mickey mouse watch repair instruction video logos you've done...within the last month! haha!

 

noirre
Member

What I find funniest about this latest opportunity is that this website dealing with multi-billion industry feels the need to mention this while trying to offer only 120 USD to whoever they hire...

noirre
Member

This one keeps popping into my jobfeed every couple of months, and on several different platforms as well.

 

The client wants translators that

 

  1. Are native to the language they are translating to
  2. That translate a sample without any pay (required for the application to be even considered)
  3. Have an official translator qualification
  4. Are experienced
  5. Are available for at least 6 months.

Guess what the project is marked as? Entry level! And the avarage hourly pay the company has paid in the past is $6.73...

 

At least with my language pair, anyone fulfilling those requirements would be charging 0,11 per word for translating - so you can imagine what the hourly rate would have to be...

 

I really have to keep myself from sending in a proposal that just says "Entry level with these requirements? Are you having a laugh?"

So this guy wants: editing/proofreading/photoshop/photo editing/video editing/video production.......all in one..

Yes but how much does he want to pay? Wearing multiple hats is not unusual these days, although that is quite a few. I've been responding to, and getting, jobs for logo design and name/tagline writing. And on another platform i took a job for graphic design and article writing. I've been working with that company for over 5 years now. Several times i have applied to a graphics job and seen the copy they wanted me to typeset, politely informed them that they needed to fire their writer, and ended up writing for them instead, or doing both.

The thing you have to watch out for in those situations is getting paid for each task because it's too easy for the client to lump it all together in his/her mind and when you tell them $500 for a brochure they think "wait a minute i was only gonna pay $250 for that brochure!" then you have to dsay, "yeah to two different people, dufus!" Of course i would never call a client "dufus" but sadly, when it comes to trying to get a good deal, we have all been guilty of dufism at least one time in our lives

Upcoming Events
Dec 13
Succeeding with Clients Talent Toolbox
Dec 21
Virtual Community Hour Community Hour