Fun Daily Jokes

[virtualbrix]

This is going to be a thread where we can all put up fun daily jokes to keep our sense of humor going : )

[virtualbrix]

Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

[virtualbrix]

Do you know what’s odd? Every other number.

[virtualbrix]

Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself? It was two tired.

[bf97c28c]

That's funny 😂

[virtualbrix]

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

[virtualbrix]

To err is human, to blame it on someone else is management.

[virtualbrix]

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

[bf97c28c]

I like it 

[virtualbrix]

My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.

[virtualbrix]

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs

[virtualbrix]

What did the frustrated cat say? Are you kitten me right meow

[virtualbrix]

What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality

[virtualbrix]

How did the hamburger know he needed new pants? His buns were showing

[virtualbrix]

What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates

[virtualbrix]

What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain

[virtualbrix]

When does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For drizzle

[virtualbrix]

What kind of cereal do dads like? Corn flakes

[virtualbrix]

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent

[virtualbrix]

If you see a robbery at an Apple store, what does it make you? An Iwitness

[virtualbrix]

Why was the candle happy? It was liiit

[virtualbrix]

Why wouldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? It was on a roll

[virtualbrix]

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless

[virtualbrix]

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands

[virtualbrix]

What kind of pants does Mario wear? Denim denim denim

[virtualbrix]

What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison

[virtualbrix]

Why did the chef die? He ran out of thyme

[virtualbrix]

Where can you find your grandma in a hurry? Insta-gram

[virtualbrix]

What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics

[virtualbrix]

Why did the farmer win an award? He was out standing in his field

[virtualbrix]

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe

[virtualbrix]

Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two-tired

[virtualbrix]

What did the duck say when it bought lip gloss? “Put it on my bill”

[virtualbrix]

Do you know how I’m sure we’ll be friends forever? Because we’re too lazy to find other friends

[virtualbrix]

Why did the bee get married? He found his honey

[virtualbrix]

Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything

[virtualbrix]

Why do mushrooms get invited to every party? Because they’re fun-gis

[virtualbrix]

Do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An ir-relephant

[virtualbrix]

Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies

[virtualbrix]

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener

[virtualbrix]

I can’t tell if I like my blender or not… It keeps giving me mixed results