Lots of Laugh

[Dianne M]

[Dianne M]

[Manoj Kumar P]

Wife: Look at that man who has drunk a lot.

Husband: Who is he?

Wife: 10 year ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage.

Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating!!   

[Manoj Kumar P]

THE SIGN DOWN THE ROAD

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?

Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.

Teacher: What does a sign have to do with you being late?

Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”   

[Manoj Kumar P]

An English professor wrote the words:

“A Woman without her man is nothing”

on the blackboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:

“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”

All the females in the class wrote:

“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Punctuation is powerful   

[Manoj Kumar P]

English is a funny language

An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together:-

1. Cleary Misunderstood
2. Act Naturally
3. Exact Estimate
4. Found Missing
5. Small Crowd
6. Fully Empty
7. Pretty Ugly
8. Seriously Funny
9. Only Choice
10. Original Copies                 

 And the mother of all……

11. Happily Married   

[Manoj Kumar P]

Teacher: Can you see God?

Class: No

Teacher: Can you touch God?

Class: No

Teacher: Then there isn’t a God!

… … … … … *Student raises their hand*

Student: “Sir, can you see your brain?”

Teacher: No

Student: Can you touch your brain?

Teacher: No

Student:  oh okay, so you don’t have a brain!?  

[Manoj Kumar P]

My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said:

“At the end of this ruler is an idiot”

I got a detention after asking which end   

[Manoj Kumar P]

Wife: What is 10 years with me?

Husband: A second.

Wife: What is $1000 for me?

Husband: A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.

Husband: Wait a second   

[Manoj Kumar P]

Wife: I hate that beggar.

Husband: Why?

Wife: Stupid Moron... I gave him food yesterday & today he gifted me a book  "How to Cook!!!"