Wife: Look at that man who has drunk a lot.
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 year ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage.
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating!!
THE SIGN DOWN THE ROAD
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with you being late?
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
An English professor wrote the words:
“A Woman without her man is nothing”
on the blackboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
All the females in the class wrote:
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
Punctuation is powerful
English is a funny language
An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together:-
- Cleary Misunderstood
- Act Naturally
- Exact Estimate
- Found Missing
- Small Crowd
- Fully Empty
- Pretty Ugly
- Seriously Funny
- Only Choice
- Original Copies
And the mother of all……
11. Happily Married
Teacher: Can you see God?
Teacher: Can you touch God?
Teacher: Then there isn’t a God!
… … … … … *Student raises their hand*
Student: “Sir, can you see your brain?”
Student: Can you touch your brain?
Student: oh okay, so you don’t have a brain!?