Dec 16, 2019 12:29:50 PM by Nichola L
On the first day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
A job that was almost free
On the second day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the third day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free.
On the fourth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Four star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the fifth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the sixth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the seventh day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the eighth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Eight talent specialists
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the ninth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Nine Google mentions
Eight talent specialists
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the tenth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Ten job-feed no-nos
Nine Google mentions
Eight talent specialists
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the eleventh day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Eleven downtime notices
Ten job-feed no-nos
Nine Google mentions
Eight talent specialists
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the twelfth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Twelve connects so welcome
Eleven downtime notices
Ten job-feed no-nos
Nine Google mentions
Eight talent specialists
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
Sung to the tune of the original ...
Dec 16, 2019 01:22:43 PM Edited Dec 16, 2019 01:45:42 PM by Anthony H
No reply. No reply.
All is calm. I can't deny.
No one answers my job proposals.
I'm low on connects and high on Red Bull.
Solitaire gets me bye-aye. Solitaire gets me bye.
I lie awake. I lie awake.
Clients give me such a headache.
A freelancer's life is so sublime,
Except when you're broke or past deadline.
Holy --- what a drag. Holy ---- what a drag.
What to bid? What to bid?
Job looks great, but whom do they kid?
Minimum wage and Ph.D. work.
What do they take me for -- some kind of jerk?
I'm wasting my God-d--n time. I wasting my God-d--n time.
Thanks Upwork. Thanks Upwork.
Before I freelanced I was a grocery clerk.
Now I'm the schmuck who writes a blog.
I ghostwrite for fools and a demagogue.
I'm well on my way, I'm a star-are.
I'm well on my way, I'm a star.
Dec 16, 2019 08:15:11 PM by Bill H
The Ballad of Adam Schiff,
Sung to the tune of Angels We Have Heard on High.
Are you now, or have you ever
Falsified, or been too clever?
Where's your cousin from Moscow
What's your Czech niece doing now?
How about your Uncle Khruschev
Is your Chinese cook a true chef?
What about your Latvian bride?
Come on what have you to hide?
Tell us all and we'll relent
Just don't shoot the President.
Dec 17, 2019 04:40:21 PM Edited Dec 17, 2019 04:43:40 PM by Anthony H
I was going to answer Bill here ... but I guess I'll just let Congress do that instead.
Dec 18, 2019 07:01:30 AM by Richard W
To the tune of "Have a holly jolly Christmas"...
Have a holly jolly Christmas,
And as you look down your feed,
Say "H*ll no!" to jobs too low
And any scams you read.
Have a holly jolly Christmas,
And if clients disappear,
Just recall that after all
There'll be another year.
Have a holly jolly Christmas,
And if next year looks too drear,
Oh by golly have a holly jolly
Christmas this year!
Dec 18, 2019 08:08:58 AM by Richard W
I'm on a roll now (and this is much more fun than working)...
God rest ye merry freelancers
Let nothing you dismay,
Not clients' broken promises,
Nor payments gone astray.
For Upwork's here to put things right
And do it right away.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.
God rest ye merry freelancers
Let nothing you dismay,
If Upwork ever does foul up,
It'll only last a day.
For moderators hear our voice,
And we can have our say.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.
God rest ye merry freelancers
Let nothing you dismay,
Our pay is down and fees are up,
And bugs are here to stay.
But Upwork's planning new features
To make it all OK.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.
Dec 18, 2019 12:41:52 PM by Nichola L
Richard W wrote:I'm on a roll now (and this is much more fun than working)...
God rest ye merry freelancers...
_________________________
+1000 lol!
Dec 20, 2019 08:30:52 AM Edited Dec 20, 2019 08:50:18 AM by Lena E
To the tune of "O' Christmas Tree"
Oh community members oh community members
I love to read these threads
Oh community members oh community members
Your prose and humor amuses me
Your wishes and rants are well received
We appreciate everyone of you
Oh community members oh community members
Please be mindful of our guidelines
We love your chats and your wit but when it starts to get political we must edit that bit.
Happy Holidays ( I can't stay on tune)
-Lena
Dec 20, 2019 12:31:29 PM by Nichola L
Lena E wrote:To the tune of "O' Christmas Tree"
Oh community members oh community members
I love to read these threads
Oh community members oh community members
Your prose and humor amuses me
Your wishes and rants are well received
We appreciate everyone of you
Oh community members oh community members
Please be mindful of our guidelines
We love your chats and your wit but when it starts to get political we must edit that bit.
Happy Holidays ( I can't stay on tune)
-Lena
______________________________________________
Lena, we wouldn't still be here if we didn't need (and mostly love) Upwork! (Just a few buts, which would be out of place here.)
My spoof was entirely inspired by someone who felt that Upwork should give them free connects in their Christmas stocking.
My message to all Upwork mods and managers is a Very Happy Christmas (or Holiday Season if you prefer) and lots of dosh to you and to us freelancers in all our 2020 purses!
Dec 17, 2019 06:59:52 AM by Martina P
Anthony H wrote:No reply. No reply.
All is calm. I can't deny.
No one answers my job proposals.
I'm low on connects and high on Red Bull.
Solitaire gets me bye-aye. Solitaire gets me bye.
I lie awake. I lie awake.
Clients give me such a headache.
A freelancer's life is so sublime,
Except when you're broke or past deadline.
Holy --- what a drag. Holy ---- what a drag.
What to bid? What to bid?
Job looks great, but whom do they kid?
Minimum wage and Ph.D. work.
What do they take me for -- some kind of jerk?I'm wasting my God-d--n time. I wasting my God-d--n time.
Thanks Upwork. Thanks Upwork.
Before I freelanced I was a grocery clerk.
Now I'm the schmuck who writes a blog.
I ghostwrite for fools and a demagogue.
I'm well on my way, I'm a star-are.
I'm well on my way, I'm a star.
Fantastic!
Dec 17, 2019 06:59:25 AM by Martina P
Nichola L wrote:On the first day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
A job that was almost free
On the second day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the third day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free.
On the fourth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Four star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the fifth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the sixth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the seventh day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the eighth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Eight talent specialists
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the ninth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Nine Google mentions
Eight talent specialists
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the tenth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Ten job-feed no-nos
Nine Google mentions
Eight talent specialists
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the eleventh day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Eleven downtime notices
Ten job-feed no-nos
Nine Google mentions
Eight talent specialists
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
On the twelfth day of Christmas
Upwork sent to me
Twelve connects so welcome
Eleven downtime notices
Ten job-feed no-nos
Nine Google mentions
Eight talent specialists
Seven disputes waiting
Six friendly warnings
FIVE GURUS TRUE
Four-star feedback
Three scam invites
Two special offers
And a job that was almost free
Sung to the tune of the original ...
Brilliant!
Dec 17, 2019 10:00:45 AM by Amanda L
Y'all should quit your day jobs and see if there's any work out there for songwriters. Yuck-yuck.
Dec 19, 2019 12:57:00 PM by Lucio Ricardo M
Now the name of the song is Silent chat
Silent profile
Silent chat
All are gone for the vacation
You still waiting the client response
Wondering if you should do the same
Hope next year is better
With more hourly jobs
Dec 20, 2019 10:42:24 AM by Anthony H
Little double standard on the editing here ... the censorship, that is. Hrmph.
Dec 20, 2019 12:17:26 PM by Rene K
Anthony H wrote:Little double standard on the editing here ... the censorship, that is. Hrmph.
Anthony, discussing politics is not allowed here. And from a previous offender to another, it's better this way.
Dec 23, 2019 07:31:12 AM Edited Dec 23, 2019 07:47:48 AM by Anthony H
OK, Rene ... and thread monitor ... point taken. But why the double standard here? That was the question.
Of course, it seems unduly odd that an online forum peopled by writers and other independent thinkers would feel the need to censor comments -- given some of us live in countries that allow for free discourse and we're here on the Internet where exchanging ideas is, theoretically, a fundamental (not to say golden) opportunity ... or maybe that's just me. Still, the question was more pointed than that: Does the no-politics rule apply to only selective commentary or to all?
Dec 24, 2019 07:53:01 AM by Richard W
I can't hear (or read) "O Christmas Tree" without thinking of the words of "The Red Flag", which is sung to the same tune. Perhaps Lena was making a subtle political point by setting her words to the tune of a socialist song. 😉
Merry Christmas!