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colettelewis
Community Member

The 12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

A job that was almost free

 

On the second day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the third day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free.

 

On the fourth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Four star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the fifth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the sixth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the seventh day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the eighth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the ninth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the tenth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Ten job-feed no-nos

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Eleven downtime notices

Ten job-feed no-nos

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Twelve connects so welcome

Eleven downtime notices

Ten job-feed no-nos

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

Sung to the tune of the original ... 

 

 

17 REPLIES 17
allpurposewriter
Community Member

No reply. No reply.

All is calm. I can't deny.

No one answers my job proposals.

I'm low on connects and high on Red Bull.

Solitaire gets me bye-aye. Solitaire gets me bye.

 

I lie awake. I lie awake.

Clients give me such a headache.

A freelancer's life is so sublime,

Except when you're broke or past deadline. 

Holy --- what a drag. Holy ---- what a drag.

 

What to bid? What to bid?
Job looks great, but whom do they kid?
Minimum wage and Ph.D. work.
What do they take me for -- some kind of jerk?

I'm wasting my God-d--n time. I wasting my God-d--n time.

 

Thanks Upwork. Thanks Upwork.

Before I freelanced I was a grocery clerk.

Now I'm the schmuck who writes a blog.

I ghostwrite for fools and a demagogue.

I'm well on my way, I'm a star-are.

I'm well on my way, I'm a star.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Ballad of Adam Schiff,

Sung to the tune of Angels We Have Heard on High.

 

Are you now, or have you ever

Falsified, or been too clever?

Where's your cousin from Moscow

What's your Czech niece doing now?

 

How about your Uncle Khruschev

Is your Chinese cook a true chef?

What about your Latvian bride?

Come on what have you to hide?

Tell us all and we'll relent

Just don't shoot the President.

 

Supposed to be Hark the Herald Angels Sing.

I was going to answer Bill here ... but I guess I'll just let Congress do that instead.

To the tune of "Have a holly jolly Christmas"...

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas, 

And as you look down your feed, 

Say "H*ll no!" to jobs too low

And any scams you read. 

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas, 

And if clients disappear, 

Just recall that after all 

There'll be another year.

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas,

And if next year looks too drear,

Oh by golly have a holly jolly 

Christmas this year!

I'm on a roll now (and this is much more fun than working)...

 

God rest ye merry freelancers
Let nothing you dismay,
Not clients' broken promises,
Nor payments gone astray.
For Upwork's here to put things right
And do it right away.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

 

God rest ye merry freelancers
Let nothing you dismay,
If Upwork ever does foul up,
It'll only last a day.
For moderators hear our voice,
And we can have our say.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

 

God rest ye merry freelancers
Let nothing you dismay,
Our pay is down and fees are up,
And bugs are here to stay.
But Upwork's planning new features
To make it all OK.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.


Richard W wrote:

I'm on a roll now (and this is much more fun than working)...

 

God rest ye merry freelancers...

_________________________

 

+1000 lol! 

To the tune of "O' Christmas Tree"

 

Oh community members oh community members

I love to read these threads

Oh community members oh community members

Your prose and humor amuses me

Your wishes and rants are well received

We appreciate everyone of you

Oh community members oh community members

Please be mindful of our guidelines

We love your chats and your wit but when it starts to get political we must edit that bit.

 

Happy Holidays ( I can't stay on tune)

-Lena

Untitled

 


Lena E wrote:

To the tune of "O' Christmas Tree"

 

Oh community members oh community members

I love to read these threads

Oh community members oh community members

Your prose and humor amuses me

Your wishes and rants are well received

We appreciate everyone of you

Oh community members oh community members

Please be mindful of our guidelines

We love your chats and your wit but when it starts to get political we must edit that bit.

 

Happy Holidays ( I can't stay on tune)

-Lena


______________________________________________

 

Lena, we wouldn't still be here if we didn't need (and mostly love) Upwork! (Just a few buts, which would be out of place here.) 

 

My spoof was entirely inspired by someone who felt that Upwork should give them free connects in their Christmas stocking. 

 

My message to all Upwork mods and managers is a Very Happy Christmas (or Holiday Season if you prefer) and lots of dosh to you and to us freelancers in all our 2020 purses! Mickey Mouse_christmas.JPG

 


Anthony H wrote:

No reply. No reply.

All is calm. I can't deny.

No one answers my job proposals.

I'm low on connects and high on Red Bull.

Solitaire gets me bye-aye. Solitaire gets me bye.

 

I lie awake. I lie awake.

Clients give me such a headache.

A freelancer's life is so sublime,

Except when you're broke or past deadline. 

Holy --- what a drag. Holy ---- what a drag.

 

What to bid? What to bid?
Job looks great, but whom do they kid?
Minimum wage and Ph.D. work.
What do they take me for -- some kind of jerk?

I'm wasting my God-d--n time. I wasting my God-d--n time.

 

Thanks Upwork. Thanks Upwork.

Before I freelanced I was a grocery clerk.

Now I'm the schmuck who writes a blog.

I ghostwrite for fools and a demagogue.

I'm well on my way, I'm a star-are.

I'm well on my way, I'm a star.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Fantastic!

martina_plaschka
Community Member


Nichola L wrote:

On the first day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

A job that was almost free

 

On the second day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the third day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free.

 

On the fourth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Four star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the fifth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the sixth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the seventh day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the eighth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the ninth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the tenth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Ten job-feed no-nos

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Eleven downtime notices

Ten job-feed no-nos

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Twelve connects so welcome

Eleven downtime notices

Ten job-feed no-nos

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

Sung to the tune of the original ... 

 

 


Brilliant! 

Y'all should quit your day jobs and see if there's any work out there for songwriters. Yuck-yuck. 

Now the name of the song is Silent chat

Silent profile

Silent chat

All are gone for the vacation

You still waiting the client response

Wondering if you should do the same

Hope next year is better

With more hourly jobs

Little double standard on the editing here ... the censorship, that is. Hrmph.


Anthony H wrote:

Little double standard on the editing here ... the censorship, that is. Hrmph.


Anthony, discussing politics is not allowed here. And from a previous offender to another, it's better this way.

 

 

 

-----------
"Where darkness shines like dazzling light"   —William Ashbless

OK, Rene ... and thread monitor ... point taken. But why the double standard here? That was the question.

Of course, it seems unduly odd that an online forum peopled by writers and other independent thinkers would feel the need to censor comments -- given some of us live in countries that allow for free discourse and we're here on the Internet where exchanging ideas is, theoretically, a fundamental (not to say golden) opportunity ... or maybe that's just me. Still, the question was more pointed than that: Does the no-politics rule apply to only selective commentary or to all?

I can't hear (or read) "O Christmas Tree" without thinking of the words of "The Red Flag", which is sung to the same tune. Perhaps Lena was making a subtle political point by setting her words to the tune of a socialist song. 😉

 

Merry Christmas!

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