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The 12 Days of Christmas

colettelewis
Community Guru
Nichola L Member Since: Mar 13, 2015
1 of 18

On the first day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

A job that was almost free

 

On the second day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the third day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free.

 

On the fourth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Four star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the fifth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the sixth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the seventh day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the eighth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the ninth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the tenth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Ten job-feed no-nos

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Eleven downtime notices

Ten job-feed no-nos

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas

Upwork sent to me

Twelve connects so welcome

Eleven downtime notices

Ten job-feed no-nos

Nine Google mentions

Eight talent specialists

Seven disputes waiting

Six friendly warnings

FIVE GURUS TRUE

Four-star feedback

Three scam invites

Two special offers

And a job that was almost free

 

Sung to the tune of the original ... 

 

 

allpurposewriter
Community Guru
Anthony H Member Since: Feb 22, 2017
2 of 18

No reply. No reply.

All is calm. I can't deny.

No one answers my job proposals.

I'm low on connects and high on Red Bull.

Solitaire gets me bye-aye. Solitaire gets me bye.

 

I lie awake. I lie awake.

Clients give me such a headache.

A freelancer's life is so sublime,

Except when you're broke or past deadline. 

Holy --- what a drag. Holy ---- what a drag.

 

What to bid? What to bid?
Job looks great, but whom do they kid?
Minimum wage and Ph.D. work.
What do they take me for -- some kind of jerk?

I'm wasting my God-d--n time. I wasting my God-d--n time.

 

Thanks Upwork. Thanks Upwork.

Before I freelanced I was a grocery clerk.

Now I'm the schmuck who writes a blog.

I ghostwrite for fools and a demagogue.

I'm well on my way, I'm a star-are.

I'm well on my way, I'm a star.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

resultsassoc
Community Guru
Bill H Member Since: Aug 18, 2017
3 of 18

The Ballad of Adam Schiff,

Sung to the tune of Angels We Have Heard on High.

 

Are you now, or have you ever

Falsified, or been too clever?

Where's your cousin from Moscow

What's your Czech niece doing now?

 

How about your Uncle Khruschev

Is your Chinese cook a true chef?

What about your Latvian bride?

Come on what have you to hide?

Tell us all and we'll relent

Just don't shoot the President.

 

resultsassoc
Community Guru
Bill H Member Since: Aug 18, 2017
4 of 18

Supposed to be Hark the Herald Angels Sing.

allpurposewriter
Community Guru
Anthony H Member Since: Feb 22, 2017
5 of 18

I was going to answer Bill here ... but I guess I'll just let Congress do that instead.

richard_wein
Community Guru
Richard W Member Since: Jun 22, 2017
6 of 18

To the tune of "Have a holly jolly Christmas"...

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas, 

And as you look down your feed, 

Say "H*ll no!" to jobs too low

And any scams you read. 

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas, 

And if clients disappear, 

Just recall that after all 

There'll be another year.

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas,

And if next year looks too drear,

Oh by golly have a holly jolly 

Christmas this year!

richard_wein
Community Guru
Richard W Member Since: Jun 22, 2017
7 of 18

I'm on a roll now (and this is much more fun than working)...

 

God rest ye merry freelancers
Let nothing you dismay,
Not clients' broken promises,
Nor payments gone astray.
For Upwork's here to put things right
And do it right away.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

 

God rest ye merry freelancers
Let nothing you dismay,
If Upwork ever does foul up,
It'll only last a day.
For moderators hear our voice,
And we can have our say.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

 

God rest ye merry freelancers
Let nothing you dismay,
Our pay is down and fees are up,
And bugs are here to stay.
But Upwork's planning new features
To make it all OK.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

colettelewis
Community Guru
Nichola L Member Since: Mar 13, 2015
8 of 18

Richard W wrote:

I'm on a roll now (and this is much more fun than working)...

 

God rest ye merry freelancers...

_________________________

 

+1000 lol! 

lenaellis
Community Manager
Lena E Community Manager Member Since: Apr 7, 2015
9 of 18

To the tune of "O' Christmas Tree"

 

Oh community members oh community members

I love to read these threads

Oh community members oh community members

Your prose and humor amuses me

Your wishes and rants are well received

We appreciate everyone of you

Oh community members oh community members

Please be mindful of our guidelines

We love your chats and your wit but when it starts to get political we must edit that bit.

 

Happy Holidays ( I can't stay on tune)

-Lena

Untitled
colettelewis
Community Guru
Nichola L Member Since: Mar 13, 2015
10 of 18

 


Lena E wrote:

To the tune of "O' Christmas Tree"

 

Oh community members oh community members

I love to read these threads

Oh community members oh community members

Your prose and humor amuses me

Your wishes and rants are well received

We appreciate everyone of you

Oh community members oh community members

Please be mindful of our guidelines

We love your chats and your wit but when it starts to get political we must edit that bit.

 

Happy Holidays ( I can't stay on tune)

-Lena


______________________________________________

 

Lena, we wouldn't still be here if we didn't need (and mostly love) Upwork! (Just a few buts, which would be out of place here.) 

 

My spoof was entirely inspired by someone who felt that Upwork should give them free connects in their Christmas stocking. 

 

My message to all Upwork mods and managers is a Very Happy Christmas (or Holiday Season if you prefer) and lots of dosh to you and to us freelancers in all our 2020 purses! Mickey Mouse_christmas.JPG

 

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