You know the best way to ruin your relationships is by being defensive. I'm not saying don't stand up for what you value.
(Let me be a little specific here, I'm talking about my situation here, where I get defensive with my friends)
(Let me be more specific, in the beginning this all happened and I learned a very valuable lesson)
I’m the kind of person that if anything goes wrong (even if it’s just a 0.1 out of 10 on the scale of bad) I can’t help but get a bit defensive.
For example my phone charger makes some noices (that are hard to notice) when I put my phone on charging.
I unplugged the charger because I thought it might make them dislike me. This is normal for me and nothing have happened anything till today (no one have died so far).
But because they're my new friends, I was trying so hard to make them like me. (Bcz i'm an under-confident beast. lol)
Then something just snapped, something inside of me. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about being better than Kakarot(friends), I didn't care about being a super saiyan(people-pleaser). I didn't care if I lived(make them happy). I didn't care about anything! And then... It happened.
(Tell me, didn't I used this meme to it's full potential?😎)
(Although it didn't just happened instantly but yea over time I got changed)
Now I know most people will think "you get comfortable with each other as you spend more time together".
I agree with this but there was also a realization, a will to change within me that made me uncomfortable all the time.
And I wanted to change like finally getting rid of that one stubborn fly.
It took a lot of time but I learned these valuable things:
- Lots of people nowadays have ADHD, what I mean by this is people forget things very quickly and these little embarassing moment isn't going to in there memory.
- No one cares.
- People only remember how they felt(what emotions did they felt) when they were in a certain place. They don't remember what logical things you've said to them.
- There might be more but i know only these.
So next time if anything embarrasing happens, just don't get defensive(also read the room and make a proper decision while keeping in mind the tips I shared with you)
Bcz it makes you look more confident because it's showing that you embrace the fact that you are not a perfect person.
