He had four hiring so far (three fixed, one hourly), yet he asks me how he should open a contract. He pretends confused/lost on his side.
What do I say to that? How do I instruct a client where to click to set up a contract?
Or is it just an excuse to finish a call and decline a proposal?
I handle Skype by telling the other person I am old, fat and ugly, and if they need to confirm that, I'm not interested. Video eats bandwidth. I can hear the other person, and I take notes in the chat.
Strange foreign clients: About eight or nine years ago I had a rough few weeks. At least my clients did. The week before I was to begin work with a client in Guatemala, there was a riot. Several buildings were burned down, including the one in which he was trapped. The next week, I was on my way to the airport to fly to Los Angeles when the client called. His brother in Pakistan had just died, and he had to return there to marry his sister-in-law. The week after that, the day before I was to fly to Europe, the client's wife called. He was in a coma. The week after that I was to drive to Canada and facilitate five competitors forming an association to bid on work cooperatively. I had just left my driveway when one of the men called. It seemed that one of his prospective partners had murdered another one that morning, then killed himself.
A Middle East client agreed to give me 10% of what I could save in a $12M project. In three hours I realized that it would be cheaper to build a duplicate dormitory next to the one they were planning to retrofit by dividing all rooms in half. I got a confirmed, bonded bid from the original general contractor, with a delivery date six months earlier than the planned project. Savings: $6M. I gave him an invoice for $600K. He refused to pay saying nobody was worth $200K/hour.
On Pacific islands, visiting one client, I was chased up a palm tree by a wild pig. Visiting another client, my car was shoved off the road by a monitor lizard. A European client invited me to dinner at his home, where I learned he and his girlfriend were nudists. When in Rome, as they say. A Middle Eastern client owned his own country, and I traveled to another country with him. When I got back, he had gone and immigration arrested me because I hadn't gotten an exit permit.
I just had the most pathetic experience with the client in last six years. Guy comes and says he was referred by my other client. His budget is $250. We have a phone call, he tells me he doesn't know how to use Upwork.
Later today he sends me a message about some issue with payment method and asks about alternative. I say there's no alternative and he can contact support.
Then he sends me a contract with only $10 funded. I refuse and he's trying to convince me that since I worked for his friend I can fully trust him, as well.
I stayed with my terms, not taking a compromise for half of sum funded, because all together is already a red alarm. No answer few hours later and I declined the offer.
He comes back with ad hominems and insults.
Edit: He initially wanted unlimited number of revisions, until he's satisfied with the outcome.
Help me understand if I have a comprehension issue...
Wednesday, last week, I get this info from client:
- it's a tight deadline (Frid evening),
- two days to complete everything (20 slides),
- 3 slides to be done the same day,
I did and sent first 3 slides that day, client's time zone.
- feedback: it's great, soon more instructions,
- requests for 4 more slides (to be delivered that day).
- needlessly changes limit from 10 to 40 hours,
- suggests email communication,
- on my question about exact deadline replies how it all needs to be done by the end of the weekend
I sent 4 slides back the same day, got no response that nor the next day.
in order to meet deadline I continued working on the remaining 20 slides. Yes, a question went through my mind do I ask him first if I have a green light for the other slides, but I assumed he does want the work to be done, since he changed the weekly limit and reminded me of the deadline previously.
No, he didn't want me to work on it because he decided, I quote "to go a different direction a few days ago".
I should not have had assume anything and asked instead at first doubt. It's not like it's my first job here. It's just, I'm baffled. Why you do that? Speak about deadline, raise limit, and then go silent.