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What's the funniest gig you've had as a freelancer?

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Ace Contributor
Cat L Member Since: Dec 13, 2019
1 of 13

I have several, but this past weekend certainly qualifies.

I was contracted to do a monster sales page for an equal monster broadband provider.

 

Before I EVEN start, let it be known I myself am a subscriber, I curse them on a dang near daily basis for 20+ years. No the client had no idea, but my friends were howling with tears of laughter as I read the arse-kissing wonders of said provider to them. Some said I was going to that hot place with an even hotter jolt of lightning right where the sun don't shine.

 

Well, the thing required hours of intense research. Days, really. Yours truly slogging away - and the internet drops. Repeat. Repeat. All WEEKEND repeat.

 

I get the thing turned in, and in yet more fury I call the provider to try and find out if a storm forced water into the lines, squirrels have been at it again, etc. etc. etc. The first time I call, they rebooted the modem as per. So I call back in the requested 10 minutes, to be told by robot "YOU just rebooted your modem we see. Goood. Now please hold for tech support."

 

I held. And held - and after 20 minutes? So help me gawd a nasty robot said "We are experiencing technical difficulties." BAM! hangs up on me.

 

I'm madly pulling that sales puffery, changing it to solid miserable cursing....

 

lololol!

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Community Guru
Louisa J Member Since: Apr 12, 2017
2 of 13

I will always remember the Japanese menu edit that happened to say: We like to eat children. I laughed for days. They meant to say: We cater for children. 

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Community Guru
Kim F Member Since: Aug 26, 2015
3 of 13

More than once I've had to edit sex scenes where I've ended up drawing sketches to prove to myself that what's being described is anatomically impossible. (That's excluding the third arms that seem to creep into such scenes.)

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Community Guru
Nichola L Member Since: Mar 13, 2015
4 of 13

Kim F wrote:

More than once I've had to edit sex scenes where I've ended up drawing sketches to prove to myself that what's being described is anatomically impossible. (That's excluding the third arms that seem to creep into such scenes.)


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Lol! I've had that in some of  my translation work.  

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Community Guru
Mary W Member Since: Nov 10, 2014
5 of 13

Somewhat off topic but worth sharing.  I once did a commercial for toothpaste.  I had to smile, dance and brush my teeth all at once for like 3 minutes.  And I got paid in toothpaste and they gave me the toothbrush I used!!  I still laugh when I think about.

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Community Guru
Kim F Member Since: Aug 26, 2015
6 of 13

That made me remember... I was doing a thing for MTV many moons ago and we had to film an outdoors snippet of walking up to my house. Again and again. Everyone was getting impatient. That's probably why the cameraman was so busy watching us he walked straight into a lampost.

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Ace Contributor
Cat L Member Since: Dec 13, 2019
7 of 13

aw gawd I'm going to regret this, but YOU two ladies got the memories going.

 

Many many moons ago, I was modeling, doing commercials, the occasional flick. Got offered this 'speaking' part in a flick, very interesting should one want to join SAG - as I desperately did.

 

One 'small' issue: they wanted me bare-arsed in this one scene. Uh uh not happening, said I...

 

"Oh but Cat, this is going directly to drive-thrus, nobody will ever see it."

 

"IT is not what I'm worried about folks seeing."

 

"C'mon, it's a tax write-off. You know about these things." Well yes I did. And the money was BIG for back in the day - I was a broke actress, you know the score.

 

AND of course, nobody would ever see the thing. I'd read the script: puerile crap. Nobody ever WOULD see it.

 

Name of the flick?

Porky's. 

I rest my case. (Almost got laid to rest when my PARENTS were alerted that "Cathy's in a NAKED movie!"

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Ace Contributor
Richard R Member Since: Jun 22, 2018
8 of 13

I had to build an HTML5 video player for a client. I didn't ask what kind of video it was, but once the contract started he warned me that the video had adult themes. Lets just say it was an "adult sex education" sales video. The video was so ridiculous I couldn't help but to laugh.

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Ace Contributor
Cat L Member Since: Dec 13, 2019
9 of 13

Betcha ask NEXT time! lololol

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Community Leader
Bruce D Member Since: Oct 1, 2015
10 of 13

These stories make me think of Jame Thurber's comment that "the naked truth about me is to the naked truth about Salvador Dali as an old ukulele in the attic is to a piano in a tree".

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