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atlinguist
Community Member

With the compliments of AI

Here is a little story pieced together from (a small selection of) blunders and howlers delivered by a translation engine. While the AI speeds up my work by a factor of about five, it also keeps my mind sharp during the revision process  (much more than if I did the translating myself) with its novelty solutions.

 

Enjoy (or not)! 

 

"Once upon a time, there was this guy who ate restaurants and wore eyeglasses with tree branches and had the body of a dog. He was an expiring writer who also translated from nudity to his mother tongue whenever he found the time. A shy person by nature, he liked to keep his arms in his hands when spoken to or rattle his hands, especially if his interlocutor was a beautiful young woman; he would throw his eyes – which were situated on his elbows – at her and feel the urge to start eating. He instinctively knew that she would not agree to drink tea and toast because women tended not to appreciate that he was stupid and nosy, rather than stupidly keen to tease, which would have been fun, perhaps. They also felt that his reserves needed sorting (as much as his reserve).

 

On most days, therefore, when he was busy, our young man liked to sit in a chair in the garden and watch the sky wobble, or he would ride around the fields in his pram (in lieu of a pushbike). One day at about thirty (3:30 p.m.), as he was sitting in his garden, a vehicle stepped out from behind a tree. Dust-Moths (and dust motes, too) flew, distress rolled in waves towards the man, and he ran his tongue over his lip, which lay across the table from him. But then he took courage and the man whose surface he was … uhm … surfaced and he did not tense, he looked forward to something terrible happening.

 

A flight attendant (who was female, of course) wearing a wired [!] bra emerged from the vehicle, hit him with a wall and squirted fresh-from-the-box freshly pressed wine at him. How rude! How could she do this to an ambulance driver (miraculously converted after his ambulance-chasing days), a guy who gave French kisses and wasn’t tongue-tied at all? And he hadn’t even had a second’s warning, only a second warning!

 

All kinds of emotions crossed his mind (not his face). Never one to cause ‘quiet’ havoc when ‘quite a lot of’ havoc would do, he picked up a contaminated bag he was supposed to have replaced and squeezed it hard when he meant to give it the tiniest squeeze. Then he said firmly, ‘Nicht. Ever. Do. That. Wieder.’

 

But the mind does not only wonder; it also makes many wonders, and so the young man asked her, ‘Want a hand? Do you want to help me? It’s eighteen fifteen (8:15 a.m.) and I really need to make a start on chapter “Zweizig sieben” (27) of my German book.’

 

Leaning on a piece of bread and chewing a shovel, the woman replied, ‘You don’t know me.’

 

Yes. I know. (= Yes, I do.) You are the woman with the single high cheekbone.’ Having said this, he wrapped his arms around Maddy, his forty-year-old wife of forty years, who was a bit of a bother. It made him feel protected rather than protective. Still smarting, he said to her, ‘That was clever.’

 

Maddy, who was no shrinking bush, and standing ten centimetres (actually, six inches) bigger than her husband, no slip-up of a girl either, defended herself with the words, ‘Well, I didn’t want to trip up the passing traffic. I’d slept on a spoon all night, you see.’

 

John, her husband, who wasn’t six people (or six-packed) and let his shoulders hang like a boxer when he wanted to square them, then stood back when he wanted to stand up.

 

Maddy smiled and sat on her face, having shut her mouth with her hand. This was when Maddy realised that she should not have taken such a big sip of wood. She had eaten a cupped icecake [sic] earlier and now felt like throwing up. So she threw herself in a bush …

 

18 REPLIES 18
bf97c28c
Community Member

Hi, Alexandra. It is an interesting experience. AI likes to be taught by the user. 

Well, I hope that AI learns to write code soon because this would free up a lot of talent for other tasks. Neural learning is fine as long as it doesn't lead to sentences being left out, sentences being repeated, basic grammatical constructions being misunderstood, words ('quiet' for 'quite') being misread, et cetera. I'll be working overtime if I have to teach that to the program. 

I've said several times that I wouldn't read Huckleberry Finn if it was AI-generated because I have no interet in learning about the emotional journey of a microchip.


The same goes for this. I read about half of this, then decided I just wasn't interested in bloopers produced by AI. If it was a human writing all those bloopers, I'd by on the floor laughing. But a microchip blundering through a writing assignment to me is a big bore.


 wrote:

I've said several times that I wouldn't read Huckleberry Finn if it was AI-generated because I have no interet in learning about the emotional journey of a microchip.


The same goes for this. I read about half of this, then decided I just wasn't interested in bloopers produced by AI. If it was a human writing all those bloopers, I'd by on the floor laughing. But a microchip blundering through a writing assignment to me is a big bore.


Eventually (I assume/I'm afraid; either way), we're going to be "tricked" into enjoying AI art. At some point, we're not going to be able to differentiate.

When that happens, are we going to/should we care?
IF it happens that AI generated fable makes you think or even feel something, is it going to matter that it's not written by a human?

(I'm just stirring a pot; I'm not on the side of the machines in this war. yet.)

I think I will quite enjoy AI art. And think of what movies might become. So much to explore... 

 

BUT...there are dangers. As with those awful translations I used for my story above, errors and disinformation will abound. And that's when we need to be vigilant, not least to prevent accidents from occurring.

Not to mention, using other people's work.

Stealing other people's work.

Humans have been stealing other people's work since the dawn of civilization. I write novels. But I read as many great novels as I could find all through my childhood. Now, when I write, it's a mysterious amalgamate of all those influences. Of course, I borrow without even knowing I am doing so. Folk music is an art form dedicated to making use of what came before, watching a song evolve over the ages.

 

I'm not disinterested in AI because it's immoral. I'm disinterested because I'm have nothing in common with a microchip beyond the existential, that is. (The microship and I were both made by humans, but that's as far as it goes.)


If AI needs to be taught - what is the point of AI?

That's how AI works. 

That's how chatbots work.

These are simply new rules for a new game.

"Game" is an appropriate word.


 wrote:

If AI needs to be taught - what is the point of AI?


Upon being taught/fed information, I assume that it can find solutions which beforehand weren't considered as viable.

Though, I am a naive person. My idea of AI's potential might be way off.

It's for doing the routine you don't like in the way you want.

williamtcooper
Community Member

Alexandra,

 

The combination of a freelancer + AI will always beat a freelancer without AI. 100% of the time.

Sincerely, I would like to see the data. Can you point me to the empirical data you used to come to this conclusion?

"I would like to see the data. Can you point me to the empirical data you used to come to this conclusion?"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpGtBnVZLSk   

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