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Featured Contributor Bill H.

Active Member
Jacquie D Member Since: Jan 11, 2019
11 of 12

I once talked my way out of a terrorist kidnapping. I once used a foreign country's president as a job reference. I taught local "magic" to Western-educated doctors in a small Pacific Island nation for use in controlling pain. It was hypnosis. I developed the means to keep Iraq's army in Kuwait pinned down in the wrong place while coalition tanks rolled across the border.

 



So, Bill, what you're saying is that hanging out with you at a pub is probably going to be a big snooze-fest.  Smiley Happy 

Community Guru
Bill H Member Since: Aug 18, 2017
12 of 12

Jacqui,

 

I'm boring as watching paint dry. What should be interesting isn't, like the escort service. What shouldn't be interesting might be, such as being held at gunpoint by twenty angry Arab presidential guards. I was having a pleasant chat with their commander, in Arabic, and learned he grew crops on his farm for Zakat, to give away to the needy. I asked him how large his farm was. I had misheard the term, and asked him about the size of his phallus. Or, challenging my voice teacher more than fifty years ago about his instructions for interpreting a phrase in a Rachmaninoff piece; he said, "That's what Rachmaninoff told me."

 

I was a successful intelligence officer before becoming a management consultant. Boring. Two days of preparation, most of the day making sure I wasn't being followed, ninety-minute meeting, the rest of the day being sure we hadn't been observed, then five days of paperwork. Surveillance is only slightly less boring than interviewing woodpeckers. Never in a car chase, never shot at by a spy nor shot one, never blew up anything. The whole purpose of one's life is to be as boring as possible, unremarkable, fade into the background. Thus, people with a high need to brag are failures. For four years, whenever asked what I did, I replied that I was a urinal inspector, then tried to explain the intricacies of the job. Funny that nobody wanted to hear about it.