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fantastika
Community Member

Stylistic Gimmick

Hello, I have more of less finished my book, it is a sports biography. It started out as a strict (probably boring) biography, but then, while doing research, I discovered an antagonist. The subject of the biography and the antagonist battled fior years, and the subject invariably lost, until a few years later, when she became, for one fleeting Friday night, America's Cinderella. 

 

Before I get lost here, I detailed in the book, not only this protagonist-antagonist struggle, but about 1/3 of the way in, a third, fantasy character, introduces itself. This character has nothing to do with sports, it is sort of a spiritual "force". It is not "described" it is just a force, with only one appetite - victory. It thrives, the more victories, the more sated and greedy it becomes. The winning streak goes on and on, and this force gets stronger and stronger.  

 

(How do you turn on the spellchecker here?)

  

So, what I am looking for is not a "proofreader" per se, but someone who can tell me if this stylistic gimmick, this third "character," works. Call it a "leprechaun" or a "rain maker" or something more elemental. I want to know if the reader will "buy" it. Obvisouly it is not a real character, and obviously the reader knows that, but will he/she (mostly she's for this bio) go along for the ride? 

 

At this point, all I need to add to it are the photos, and I want to make Kindle version with lots and lots of photos, but I need to know if the book "works" or is it off-putting and bizarre to put this cookie monster in it?

 

Thanks for suggestions and help. 

2 REPLIES 2
essa_alroc
Community Member

This is not really the place to look for critiques of your work. What you're looking for is an editor. You can choose to hire one here, or you can seek out an agent for your work. Or if you can't get the funds to hire an editor or the interest of an agent, I recommend finding an online critique group.  SImply google those last three words.  

silw
Community Member

Facebook should offer a whole load of interested individuals to critique for free.