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Re: Anxious and looking for opinions on a situation

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Community Guru
Petra R Member Since: Aug 3, 2011
11 of 32

Samantha L wrote:

Well, according to all of you, I'm pretty much worthless as a freelancer now and should just give up. And of course, I imagine you are all perfect. You're right. I shouldn't have asked for feedback here. All anyone ever gives is abuse. I wouldn't be surprised if someone here told me to jump off a bridge, just as "well-meaning advice."   

 


Nobody suggested anything of the sort, but the above post demonstrates perfectly how you ended up in the situation in the first place.

 

If that is anywhere near how you reacted to the client, I am not surprised he walked away.

 

Community Guru
Irene B Member Since: Feb 17, 2015
12 of 32

While I understand your frustration in this matter, please note that the 'criticism' given was constructive in nature and, I believe, not meant to offend you. The freelancers that have given said constructive criticism may seem blunt in their summations, but on the other hand, they are all professionals with great track records and have assumed the same in their answers.

 

I do not believe anyone was 'attacking' you. I think, and this is my personal opinion, that you feel hurt with what has transpired between yourself and the client. 

Community Leader
Samantha L Member Since: Jan 3, 2016
13 of 32

Yes, I do feel hurt. I'm glad at least someone here has empathy. 

Community Guru
Petra R Member Since: Aug 3, 2011
14 of 32

Irene B wrote:

I think, and this is my personal opinion, that you feel hurt with what has transpired between yourself and the client. 


Of course she does. We all (?) would. Everyone hates it when a contract goes south. I get super upset when a client doesn't love my work, I really do.

 

I guess we forgot the obligatory sympathy statement. Yes, we are actually all (I am sure) sorry that this has happened. It sucks when things go wrong.

 

Sympathy, however, does not help you. Practical advice (whether you like its delivery or not) helps.

 

 

Community Leader
Samantha L Member Since: Jan 3, 2016
15 of 32

Oh, is that so? You guys really enjoy kicking someone when they're down, don't you? 

Community Guru
Mark F Member Since: Jul 10, 2018
16 of 32

You are anxious and upset by your own admission so I think you should consider that and maybe take a step back for a second.

 

You asked for opinions, you got them,  you don't like them, you have been personal and defensive in each response.

 

You don't need to be.  They are just opinions.  I am not sure they are the personal attacks you see them as.  The members who have responded, in my short time here, have strong opinions and willingly express them.  People like that are not always gentle but that does not mean they are malicious either.

 

The same is true of your client's inevitable feedback.  You are giving it WAY too much weight.  I would try to listen to it and learn.  But that does not mean you have to own it.

 

I had other things I was going to say about this but once I read how this went down I won't.

Community Leader
Samantha L Member Since: Jan 3, 2016
17 of 32

Thank you. What you said about my giving it too much weight really helped to calm me down.   

Community Guru
Mark F Member Since: Jul 10, 2018
18 of 32

I am glad I could help to whatever extent that I did.  Maybe you will return me the favor someday.  

 

Working with clients is difficult.  Working with cheap clients is the worst.  Although I do not feel you did everything as I would have, and you almost certainly could have done things better (which is always true for all of us), I will say I am sorry this happened to you.

 

But again.  Just one client.  You will survive.    I am certain of it.

 

My advice to you, and to myself, is to remember if we wanted one person's opinion to have such a strong hold over us we would work for a boss...

Moderator
Bojan S Moderator Member Since: Mar 9, 2018
19 of 32

Hi All,

 

A few posts have been removed from this thread for Community GuidelinesPlease, be mindful of the Community Guidelines and avoid making personal attacks.

~ Bojan
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Community Guru
Phyllis G Member Since: Sep 8, 2016
20 of 32

Samantha L wrote:

Well, according to all of you, I'm pretty much worthless as a freelancer now and should just give up. And of course, I imagine you are all perfect. You're right. I shouldn't have asked for feedback here. All anyone ever gives is abuse. I wouldn't be surprised if someone here told me to jump off a bridge, just as "well-meaning advice."   

 


None of us said, and none of us believe, that you are worthless as a freelancer. And even if we did, your UW earnings prove it's not the case. You simply ran into a situation you weren't prepared for. It happens to all of us, no matter how long we've been in the business. I've been supporting myself exclusively through freelancing for well over 20 years and I still learn a tough and humbling lesson from time to time. The reason Petra and Martina and I are so unwavering and direct in our comments is that we've been there. Some lessons I've had to learn more than once, so I offer advice to others in hopes they might get it the first time around.

 

One more pro tip: Speaking strictly for myself, I've found that embarrassment is the single most powerful motivator for learning from my mistakes.

 

 

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