Can someone please critique this proposal?

[bzstudio]

I am trying to get work as a copy editor or proofreader. This is the proposal I have been using, but I'm not really comfortable with it because I think it may sound a bit obnoxious and not as professional as I'd like it to be. Please be brutally honest and I would appreciate any suggestions. Although I don't do academic editing, like when people want their footnotes to be compliant with AP style, as for normal proofreading and copy editing, I can confidently say I am very good at it. I want to stand out from the 20-50 others who normally bid on these jobs.

"Hello! I am **** ******** of BZ Studio, with 30 years experience including over 8 on Elance/Upwork. I specialize in book covers and interiors, and while doing the interior layouts, I always find so many errors in books that had already been proofed by multiple people, one of the publishers I work with hired me as a replacement for her copy editor. In addition to that, I used to proofread for another publisher before she retired and have done some proofreading for Upwork customers.

I scored in the top 10% of those who took the test in Upwork’s Word Usage, the top 10% in the English Vocabulary test, and the top 20% in the Chicago Style and in the AP Style Proofreading tests.

If you need an editor who is reliable, accurate and quick, look no further. Get the quality that your project deserves, within your time frame. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Thank you for considering my proposal!"

[kbadeau]

I don't understand. If you specialize in book interiors and covers, why would you want to muck around with proofreading? Seems like those jobs wouldn't be worth it.

[petra_r]

I am not at all comfortable with that.

It sounds like you're saying that you are neither an editor nor a proofreader, but a designer who accidentally finds errors while doing what she really does.

It sounds amateur...

Create (if you haven't already, I am too lazy to check) specialized profiles, one for your design work and one for your editing work, and make each one count for what it is. You can use your general profile to explain how it brings value to the client's project to have one person do both.

The editing profile shall not mention design and vice versa.

Also, your proposal should not go on about yourself, but about how you would tackle the client's project and why/how you'll bring value to the table.

[kbadeau]

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Petra R wrote:

I am not at all comfortable with that.

It sounds like you're saying that you are neither an editor nor a proofreader, but a designer who accidentally finds errors while doing what she really does.

It sounds amateur...

Create (if you haven't already, I am too lazy to check) specialized profiles, one for your design work and one for your editing work, and make each one count for what it is. You can use your general profile to explain how it brings value to the client's project to have one person do both.

The editing profile shall not mention design and vice versa.

Also, your proposal should not go on about yourself, but about how you would tackle the client's project and why/how you'll bring value to the table.

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I tried to look at her profile, but it was private.

[bzstudio]

Kelly, I had it set to "Only Upwork users." I'm surprised no one is able to see it since you are all Upwork users. I changed it to Public.

[bzstudio]

Petra, thanks for being honest. You've been very helpful!

[bzstudio]

Kelly, it's because I really enjoy proofreading and editing. I like to do it between graphics jobs.

[prestonhunter]

re: "Can someone please critique this proposal?"

We can't crique your proposal, because you didn't send a proposal.

You sent a bio.

When I post a job on Upwork, the proposals sent by freelancers should be about only three things:

- Me

- My Project

- How you will make my life better by helping me with my project

A proposal is not supposed to be about you (the freelancer).

[bzstudio]

Preston, thanks for being honest! I've been under the impression that I needed to let them know my qualifications or why they may want to hire me as opposed to someone else.

[christinejacques]

Wordy. Cut it in half. 

[richardsmith94]

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Christine J wrote:

Wordy. Cut it in half. 

i

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[bzstudio]

Christine and Richard, thank you for your honest critique!

[colettelewis]

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Lisa T wrote:

I am trying to get work as a copy editor or proofreader. This is the proposal I have been using, but I'm not really comfortable with it because I think it may sound a bit obnoxious and not as professional as I'd like it to be. Please be brutally honest and I would appreciate any suggestions. Although I don't do academic editing, like when people want their footnotes to be compliant with AP style, as for normal proofreading and copy editing, I can confidently say I am very good at it. I want to stand out from the 20-50 others who normally bid on these jobs.

"Hello! I am **** ******** of BZ Studio, with 30 years experience including over 8 on Elance/Upwork. I specialize in book covers and interiors, and while doing the interior layouts, I always find so many errors in books that had already been proofed by multiple people, one of the publishers I work with hired me as a replacement for her copy editor. In addition to that, I used to proofread for another publisher before she retired and have done some proofreading for Upwork customers.

I scored in the top 10% of those who took the test in Upwork’s Word Usage, the top 10% in the English Vocabulary test, and the top 20% in the Chicago Style and in the AP Style Proofreading tests.

If you need an editor who is reliable, accurate and quick, look no further. Get the quality that your project deserves, within your time frame. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Thank you for considering my proposal!"

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____________________________

Lisa, 

I can't see your profile as it is set to private. If you are setting up as copy-editor or proofreader, you really do need to know the difference between the two. Also the proposal you have laid out here is really not conducive to tempting a client. It is far too muddled, hesitant and doubtful. 

I think you should continue with book covers and with typesetting. When I was a copy-editor and proofreader in the B&M world (a million years ago), it was an absolute boon to have a typesetter who came back to us with typos/spelling mistakes, or sometimes worse, that had been missed. But this did not make the typesetter an editor or proofreader. 

Forget editing and proofreading here - we are a dime a dozen and very few of us earn mega bucks - or any bucks at all. You would be much better off applying to typesetting jobs that might help you to get traction on this site.

Apply for jobs that you know you can do. Cut out the tests and Elance - these are dead and therefore have no currency. 

If you could (temporarily) make your profile public, I am sure we could all help you further.   

[kfarnell]

If you want to edit, you'd probably do better saying you edit something specific. What can you edit that other people might not be able to - or at least not mention? 

Lisa T wrote:

one of the publishers I work with hired me as a replacement for her copy editor. 

That's nice.  And doesn't really say much at all. 

Why did you replace the first copy editor? You were better? How? What sort of publisher? Did you discover that you had a natural talent for making teatrays sound exciting? Are you great at replacing cliches with something elegant and evocative? Do you have an encyclopedic knowledge of trees? 

And then lead with the best you have to offer rather than stick it on the end of your proposal in an apologetic way. 

[feed_my_eyes]

Hi Lisa - I understand where you're coming from, and I actually do something similar in my bids. There's definitely "value added" if you're a designer who can also catch typos and/or provide advice if a client's text isn't clear or could flow better. But when you're applying for design jobs and you want to bring up your proofreading/editing skills, you should keep it VERY brief. I focus on the design aspects of the job and only at the end mention something like, "I also have prior experience in writing for travel websites and brochures, in case you'd like any advice about how your marketing message comes across." (And I only bring it up if there's some hint in the client's proposal that they'd welcome such advice, otherwise it would come across as obnoxious, I think.) And if you're going to apply for proofreading jobs, then do the reverse, i.e. only mention at the end that you're "also" a designer and could give them a quote for formatting their book. 

[a_lipsey]

I think you can let them know your qualifications, but you need to tie that into how it relates to their job. I include in my proposals my relevant experience and why that makes me a good fit for them. For example, with NIH proposals I give them a short description of my experience winning those grants and then go on to describe how I will help them win one too. But I do think your proposal was far too much about you and not enough about how your expertise will help them. So wordsmith it a bit to be more specific to their needs in copyediting/proofreading. That's my two cents. 

[bzstudio]

Thank you for the excellent and honest advice, Amanda, Christine, Kim and Nichola. I will definitely make these changes. You've been very helpful.