Maliki, you asked for constructive criticism, but you seem a little defensive when it is given.
Cathleen is right. You do have far too many unnecessarily capitalized words and some incorrectly hyphenated words. It isn't a question of whether you agree with her or not. Stylistically and grammatically, they are incorrect. There are other small grammatical glitches which if you corrected, would make your overview more fluent and easier to read.
Hi. Lol. Not at all defensive.
Maybe that's how you interpreted my writing.
I actually did go through and re-read my overview keeping in mind what Cathleen said.
You now also re-affirmed some things that she mentioned, so I am going to have another look again.
If I were you, probably I would start my response with a "Thank You" note as well.
I believe the community members are helping you in improving your profile by reading through it and providing feedback and it's a help not an obligation. So a little word of thanks would definitely help. My couple of cents...
I actually did in my initial post, but I see where you're coming from.
I am aware that persons are opting to provide feedback and that it isn't obligatory.
I think maybe my writing comes off as being defensive but I'm fine with the constructive criticism.
My disagreeing with someone or expressing a different view, does not mean that I do not value/appreciate the person's feedback or have not considered it.
To add to what Nichola said, you have to remember that you are trying to make a good impression on clients. Your personal preferences are something different. If you want to get work writing resumés for a client, it is imperative that your grammar and spelling are correct. And I think you want to create a good initial impression with your profile. It's looking pretty good, just some minor tweaks!
Oh my goodness, my profile is certainly not about "me" as a whole person!
And it certainly is not an attempt to reflect my personal preferences, convey what is most meaningful to me, or tell my life story.
My profile is carefully crafted and calculated to make money. It is meant to sell a product to potential clients.
My profile is not a lie. It's all true. And I wouldn't be able to convey the enthusiasm I convey for my chosen specialty if it wasn't genuine.
But my profile is not the "whole truth" about me, and never should be. And it certainly isn't the place for me to apply a unique brand of spelling, capitalization, punctuation or grammar.
Hi Cathleen, I made lots of changes to it taking into account the suggestions you and Corey put foward and especially what Nichola said about the overview.
I'm curious about the spelling and grammar part- I'm used to writing based on the UK English system-for eg. coloUr vs color, so is it these kinds of spelling errors that you are referencing?
I'll go through the profile again or maybe I should take a break from it and come back later.
I'll probably see better. Lol.
It's definitely much more clear and professional now!
And it's not that intern has a negative connotation persay, it just came off as grasping for things to write on experience since everyone interns at one point or another with or without relevant skills being used.
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