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Please savage my profile

leeannmerrill
Community Leader
Lee Ann M Member Since: Feb 23, 2016
11 of 14

Well...if only I were running a charm school...perhaps I should look into that angle.  I think I spent my last five years in an office environment doing just that and didn't enjoy it but perhaps being several layers removed would improve things....

david_mac
Active Member
David M Member Since: Jun 26, 2017
12 of 14

Your request specifically asked for "savage", if you wanted "charm" ..... ;-)

david_mac
Active Member
David M Member Since: Jun 26, 2017
13 of 14

Hi Lee Ann

 

Log out and go and look at how others see your profile.  I agree with Petra that clients are probably not even selecting you from the list because already, it sounds negative. So change the first line/paragraph to tell the client what you are all about, headline it, I don't know but something like this ....

"Expert research and creative writing to ensure your company ...."

 

To me, you profile is all about you. I do this, I do it this way, this is how I can help. After reading 2 or 3 paragraphs, I was still not sure what it is you are actually offering (specifically) and by trying to offer too much the client won't be able to decide if you can solve their immediate problem.

 

So turn your profile upside down.  Start off by telling the client what you offer in a way that confirms to them you can solve their problem, then they will keep reading down to the bits about you. You are telling them at the end, by which time the few who opened you from the list, have already left your profile for someone else.

 

So it doesn't matter how good you are, you have 2 obstacles to clients finding out, the first paragraph barrs entry and then the order of your profile bores them before getting to the best part.

 

Thanks

D.

 

 

leeannmerrill
Community Leader
Lee Ann M Member Since: Feb 23, 2016
14 of 14

Thank you David!

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