Shubham,
There are many styles of profile that do well. But the main focus of a profile is for you to prove you are an expert and to explain how your expertise will benefit others. This most direct way to do that is to start with "I am an expert ____________ who trained at _____________ and went to ______________ College and have worked for ____________________ for ____________ years.
"My skills will help you in fhe following ways. ______________________, _____________________, and _____________________.
At no point in your profile to you claim to be an expert. You say "I specialize in ..." which sounds close, but doesn't really say "I am an expert."
One way to prove you are an expert is to go over your training and your work history. If you have worked in accounting for 15 years and have worked for clients of many shapes and sizes (corporations, financial concerns, private indiviuals, small and large companies) then you begin to sound like an expert. Further, if you say you are an expert, but fail to give some evidence that this is true, then people could well assume you were just blowing smoke.
Your 48-word write up falls short on almost all counts. You asked if your write up was clear. I suppose it's that. But it is not very effective in proving you are an expert. The impact is almost nill. You don't have to jump up and down or get hysterical or make childish promises to prove you are an expert, you just have to list the facts in a cohesive, friendly manner.
Furthermore, if you make a lot of lofty promises without anything to sound like you really know your stuff, people could assume you were not authentic.
Another way to prove you are an expert is to define the problem that the clients have. In your case, the problem might be conforming to tax regulations. If you then say, "I can help you conform to tax regulations," the clients will think, "Hey, this guy really understands me. I want to hire him, because he seems to really understand my problem."
But you're going to have to do a lot better than 48 words to convince people you understand them. And, no, it's not length that matters ... but your write up is so sparse, it's suspect. Don't you have anything more to say than that? What kinds of clients have you worked for? What regulatory agencies have you worked with? Where did you study? Why are you an accountant?
You've barely scratched the surface Again, length isn't the problem; it's content.
Good luck.
