Hi Shatrice,
I'm fairly new on Upwork, but I'm a internet marketer and I've been studying Upwork for months now. Here are my thoughts:
Though I think our profile overviews should be short, I think yours is too short.
Think of your profile overview as an advertisement, imagine being your ideal prospect and think about what they would want to see, rather than what you think is best. I would never start my profile overview with "I" for example. Use words like "You" and "your".
Your title has too many roles to me. Focus on one (or create a separate specialized profile) and/or mention the different skills you have in your profile overview.
I would also test an action oriented title, clients aren't looking for virtual assitants, they're looking for someone who can relieve their work load, so they can grow their business. So, for example:
"I'm a virtual assistant who offers administrative services, so you can get on with your business"
or
"I'm a virtual assitant who schedules appointments, makes phone calls, and manages email accounts so you can get on with your business"
I also think your 15 years experience in customer service is more important than your Masters degree, that's what a client would find more important anyway, so I would start off talking about that.
Finally, you ABSOLUTELY must end your profile overview with a call to action (CTA).
"If you're looking to free up more hours, so you can take your business to the next level, send me a message and we’ll set up a time to have a quick 5 minute talk."
We're all busy, and as stupid as it may sound, in many cases, we need people to tell us what to do. Simply telling clients to message you will cause many clients to message you!
Also, adding "a quick 5 minute call" doesn't sound overwhleming, and in my opinion is very important. If a client speaks to you, you'll automatically be put into their shortlist, why? Because clients only speak to people who are on their shortlist.
