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Someone please give me a feedback on this cover letter.

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Active Member
Julio D Member Since: May 3, 2018
1 of 16

Hello there. I'm trying to make a living on upwork as a translator. I'm struggling a lot with cover letters and I was just able to win 3 jobs until now. Today I've send this cover letter to a client. Could someone give me a feedback on it? Here it is.

 

Hello Vittoria. I'm a Brazilian Portuguese translator. I posses many certifications in the English field and I'm also on the Rising Talent program here on Upwork. I'm very interested in translating this project for you, and I think I would be the right translator to do it. I will be able to start immediately and deliver it as soon as possible for you. Feel free to message me. I'm very communicative and will be glad to answer questions. Thank you. Best Regards, Julio **Edited for Community Guidelines** Brazilian Portuguese Translator

 

 

Community Guru
Petra R Member Since: Aug 3, 2011
2 of 16

Julio D wrote:

Hello there. I'm trying to make a living on upwork as a translator. I'm struggling a lot with cover letters and I was just able to win 3 jobs until now. Today I've send this cover letter to a client. Could someone give me a feedback on it? Here it is.

 

Hello Vittoria. I'm a Brazilian Portuguese translator. I posses many certifications in the English field and I'm also on the Rising Talent program here on Upwork. I'm very interested in translating this project for you, and I think I would be the right translator to do it. I will be able to start immediately and deliver it as soon as possible for you. Feel free to message me. I'm very communicative and will be glad to answer questions. Thank you. Best Regards, Julio **Edited for Community Guidelines** Brazilian Portuguese Translator

 

 


 The client likely gets 95% of exactly that sort of thing, including the awkward phrasing....

It's wishy-washy and what isn't wishy-washy is stating the obvious. It's all about you, not about the client or their project.

 

  • Hello Vittoria. 
  • I'm a Brazilian Portuguese translator. Obviously, why else would you be applying for a Brazilian Portugese translation gig?
  • I posses many certifications in the English field  I'd leave that out. Your English isn't that strong and you may want to not draw attention to that fact. If you must mention them, be specific.
  • and I'm also on the Rising Talent program here on Upwork. Client can see that, it means nothing
  • I'm very interested in translating this project for you, Well, obviously, or else you wouldn't have applied...
  • and I think I would be the right translator to do it. WHY? What do you have that the other 100 applicants do not? What is your unique selling point?
  • I will be able to start immediately and
  • deliver it as soon as possible for you. WHEN? "As soon as possible" is meaningless.
  • Feel free to message me.   Obvious
  • I'm very communicative and will be glad to answer questions.Obvious
  • Thank you. Best Regards, Julio Dallacort Brazilian Portuguese Translator    Superfluous

 

Community Guru
Rene K Member Since: Jul 10, 2014
3 of 16

Julio, never send out a 100% templated proposal. You have no idea how bad this looks. Clients receive 90% of copy/pasted proposals.

 

Personalize each of them and do your best to tailor them to the job you're applying to.

-----------
"Where darkness shines like dazzling light"   —William Ashbless
Community Guru
Luce N Member Since: Oct 9, 2016
4 of 16

Hi Julio,

 

It's not easy to get jobs on Upwork, so there's nothing unusual about finding it hard to find your first few jobs. Trying to better your cover letter is a good idea. Petra's comments are very useful.

 

Have you studied translation or are you just trying to get jobs as a translator? If you have studied translation, don't forget to say so, or to mention your profile where you should have entered all that information.

 

Otherwise, have you passed the tests that can prove a client that you have some competence in the necessary fields? If you haven't you should do so. Should the results not be that great, you don't have to make them public.

Community Guru
Preston H Member Since: Nov 24, 2014
5 of 16

Julio, this "cover letter" is all about you!

 

That is totally not how to get hired.

 

As a client, I am not interested in you.

 

I am interested in me and my project.

 

Your cover letter should be about three things:

- me

- my project

- how you are going to help ME with MY project

Active Member
Angela S Member Since: Jul 24, 2018
6 of 16

Here is a revised version.  It's more dynamic and inviting, I think. Check out the punctuation and language:

 

Hello Ms. Vittoria,

I'm a Brazilian Portuguese translator with many English certifications.  I am also in the Rising Talent program here on Upwork. I'm very interested in translating this project for you.  I am very experienced, very educated, and fluent in Portuguese and English. I can start immediately and deliver the project quickly. 

You are my #1 priority. We can have a long, successful, professional relationship. Please message me so I may answer your questions. Thank you.

 

Best Regards,

Julio **Edited for Community Guidelines**,

Brazilian Portuguese Translator

Community Guru
Luce N Member Since: Oct 9, 2016
7 of 16

I don't know, but I would receive an offer stating "You are my #1 priority", I would just laugh and take if for a joke. 

Community Guru
Petra R Member Since: Aug 3, 2011
8 of 16

 


Angela S wrote:

Here is a revised version.


 It's as bad, except for the slightly improved English. It's till all about him, still largely irrelevant waffle, nobody says "Ms Vittoria..."

I also don't think it is advisable to encourage a freelancer to outright lie in their cover letter.

 

The "You are my #1 priority. " bit makes me cringe, as does "We can have a long, successful, professional relationship."

 

Ace Contributor
Irina I Member Since: Nov 4, 2012
9 of 16

Why don't you say something among these lines?

 

"Hello!

My name is Julio and I translate English to Brazilian Portuguese and vice-versa for [insert number of years]. On top of my experience, I also have [insert the name of the diploma] from [insert name of the institution where you got it from].

I strive to deliver the work [or task] on time, and I'm always available for communication.

Thank you for considering me,

Best regards, Julio"

 

Make sure not to copy everything [though you're better off not copying the text], and to edit out the stuff in brakets. Let us know how it goes.

 

Ace Contributor
Irina I Member Since: Nov 4, 2012
10 of 16

I forgot to say this:

Do mention in your cover letter if there are subjectsor fields you're better at. For instance you could say somethinf like this: My strong points are legal and medical translations, while literature is my weakest.

This mention should go right after you're saying for how long you're a translator.

If you're affiliated with some offline translation company, you could also mention that in your experience, such as "i also worked with XYZ translation company for 2.5 years."

This is how you show your possible client why you're better than 100 other candidates.

good luck!

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