Crazy Job Postings

[#1]

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

Here's something I saw tonight:

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

One word: Sheesh!

[#2]

I've just found a client (a real employer leading a respectable French company) who's offering an internship through UpWork.

He's willing to pay a symbolic amount of 5 USD for a 6 months' full-time contract, BUT the intern will receive a certificate attesting the successful completion of this work experience.

I win. 

[#3]

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@Sara P wrote:

I've just found a client (a real employer leading a respectable French company) who's offering an internship through UpWork.

He's willing to pay a symbolic amount of 5 USD for a 6 months' full-time contract, BUT the intern will receive a certificate attesting the successful completion of this work experience.

I win. 

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Thanks for sharing that, Sara.

I am not sure if Upwork has specifically addressed internship jobs. But I am pretty sure this won't fly. You can't hire a contractor on Upwork and NOT pay them.

[#4]

@ Sara

I smell free work for just a piece of paper. As a student I never endorsed internships, only if they were to bootstrap the ones that are very beginners in their area. It's like: "Hey, we are a well-know multi-national company that guarantees you a nice stage for your desired practice, but yeah instead of searching well-paid gigs you'll do it for free, because we are cool." 

There are some good internships, but merely having a good outcome and payment, including the most popular companies. Except for the humanistic area, where this experience comes in handy and is a must, really. But speaking of a computer-oriented domain, that's arguable.

[#5]

I could talk for hours about how, more than often, companies see internships just as a ready source of low-cost staffing to face peaks in workload...
In this case, the matter is serious: in Europe interniships are always paid.
If I recall it correctly, in France the minum wage for an intern is around 800 Euros monthly (a little less, if an internship is part of a university program).
Here, the employer who published this ad sees platforms like UpWork as an opportunity for law and tax avoidance (let alone labour exploitation...).

As a translator, I find fascinating how words and concepts are distorted: unpaid work can be called «voluntary work», unpaid work + a piece of paper for college/university credits can be called «internship».

I don't get how such an offer could appeal European candidates...

[#6]

I hear you, Sara. It couldn't be more truthful, this is a very debatable subject.

[#7]

I don't know much about European tax law or labor law. (I don't care to know more, so please don't try to explain it to me.)

But if I run a company, then the last thing I want is some idiot young person who is dumb enough to accept a 6-month unpaid internship in Europe (where internships are all supposed to be paid) hanging around wasting the resources of my company and wasting the time of my paid employees.

That sounds like a horrible business decision. I'll lose more money on the coffee this intern drinks than I'll save on whatever labor he is supposedly performing. I would rather pay somebody qualified $150/hour for six hours to do the work that the intern would supposedly perform during the 6-month period of unpaid work.

[#8]

Now then...

whether hiring an intern to work for 6 months in a European company is a good business decision, financially speaking...

...or whether it is legal to hire an intern to work for free for 6 months in Europe...

...and whether it is moral or exploitative to hire an intern to work for free for 6 months...

...are all separate questions.

A distinct question from these is whether it is acceptable to use Upwork to hire an intern to work for free for six months. I contend that this is a clear violation of Upwork's ToS agreement and client guidelines, which stipulate that cients may not ask for free work.

Furthermore, I recognize no distinction between "hiring an intern to work for free for six months" and "hiring an intern to work for six months and paying them $5.00".

So even though the Upwork user interface may technically allow a "client" to push buttons and write text which amount to performing the latter action, to do so is clearly (to me) a violation of Upwork's intended use.

[#9]

You're right. I might have been a little bit off-topic with the internships debate, but all in all how it would look to have  on your profile a job named "Online internship" or "Internship for a student", people would firstly ask if Upwork is still a trustworthy outsourching market, or a place where you can get free low-quality work (5 bucks is still free work). 

The second question that comes into my mind: are out there people that think of an internship on a platform like Upwork, where you can really persevere and not waste time with such things?

[#10]

@ Preston

No, the intern would work remotely (it's an offer for a SEO/web marketing specialist).

Unfortunately, in general, the legal minum wage for internships is barely sufficient to cover expenses for a shared room, meals and transportation. You put up with discomforts and hope that the experience will eventually pay off, somehow.

Maybe, some young undergraduate student might think he would prefer an unpaid "telecommute" interniship rather than a paid one, far from home and mom's cooking.

Regarding your thoughts about this business decision, you wouldn't believe what the economic recession left behind in Europe on moral, legal and political levels... But we're going off topic here!

[#11]

Okay sorry for bringing this thread back to life, but I couldn't resist.

This client posted a job where he rather candidly asked for a 'self-proclaimed' psychic expert who can 'creatively pretend' to be a guru. This client will also give you a fake name and bio so that you can post your made-up content about your love spells and crystal balls 😕

[#12]

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@Mariam Fatima Z wrote:

Okay sorry for bringing this thread back to life, but I couldn't resist.

This client posted a job where he rather candidly asked for a 'self-proclaimed' psychic expert who can 'creatively pretend' to be a guru. This client will also give you a fake name and bio so that you can post your made-up content about your love spells and crystal balls 😕

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I'm a self-proclaimed fantasy writer, Do you think that's close enough? Though on second thoughts, I think I'd be much happier creatively making up spells and divinations in my own stories.

Teri

[#13]

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@Mariam Fatima Z wrote:

Okay sorry for bringing this thread back to life, but I couldn't resist.

This client posted a job where he rather candidly asked for a 'self-proclaimed' psychic expert who can 'creatively pretend' to be a guru. This client will also give you a fake name and bio so that you can post your made-up content about your love spells and crystal balls 😕

---

@Mariam, this is supposed to be an ongoing thread. You did not bring it back to life, but did something cooler, which was contributing to it. All freelancers see weird and off jobs from time to time and I, the OP, created it so we could all share those jobs in this thread.

So on that note, thanks for contributing 🙂

[#14]

I'm assuming this is a typo but the client did post it three times.

The client wants a freelancer that can proofread a 1000 pages a day with each page being 275 words. This works out to 275000 words a day. The work has to be 100% error free as well as 100% original.

Even on my best days, I couldn't read this much let alone proofread it.

[#15]

That's impossible, I could just about manage 20,000 words a day, but only if it was good - and I get the impression this won't be.

P.S How can you have 100% original proofreading? If upwork started giving new clients I.Q tests, I feel most would come in at around the same level as plankton. 

[#16]

You said it...

There should be no more than two blocks of words before a new line - for the easy light reading otherwise people don't want to read it. (almost like this)

[#17]

In Web Development, I might say the total opposite. I always reject two-line proposals, and endorse or prefer a 600+ words job poster with pinpoint specifications about the project, because this also lets me know that I won't lose time on a messaging system finding out the main concepts. This is for bigger gigs, let's say 30+ hours, if you want any type or just quick money is okay to have short descriptions,

[#18]

re: "...I won't lose time on a messaging system finding out the main concepts..."

If it's an hourly contract, you'll be paid for the time. So in that case, it's fine. I can understand what you mean if it's a half-baked fixed-price proposal, though.

When I work hourly projects, it doesn't matter to me if the client hasn't done much homework or really thought about the details of a project, because I charge for my time. I'm not charging by the project. Skype calls? Email messages? Time spenting working out a project outline? That's all billable time.

With an hourly contract, a two-line job description doesn't mean I have a "bad client." It means I have a client who is busy doing other things and would prefer to pay me to figure things out, either on my own or with him.

[#19]

"I charge for my time. I'm not charging by the project. Skype calls? Email messages? Time spenting working out a project outline? That's all billable time." 

Yes, I agree to what you said, but I was taking into account only those fixed-price project, when let's say you calculate beforehand all the time required, everything besides that is just bloat. Hourly project, might have a better outcome for the freelancer, rather than employer, in some extent.

[#20]

Wordpress

Fixed Price - Est. Budget: $5 - Posted 1 hour ago

To be announced

Gee, who wouldn't squander a connect on a $5 job with details 'to be announced'? 

Actually, there *are* 4 applicants, but 3 of them I think are trying to land their first Upwork job.

[#21]

...and flowers and kittens and baking scrummy cakes for when hubby gets back from work

****NEW Writers! **WOMEN/HOME/COOKING**25 Easy BLOG Articles! **

Fixed Price - Est. Budget: $100 - Posted 4 minutes ago

Hello! We are looking for a blog writer. Topics: Women / Make-up / Hair  / Home / Kitchen tools.

[#22]

I saw this just now (paraphrased)

it's a client from the UK with a 4.96 rating, 70% hire rate, 343 jobs posted, over $40k spent.

The job post is about him hiring intermediate writers for 85 articles, one article per day.

The client will tell you what to write about every week in advance.

Each article will ONLY cost 1 hour of your rate.

His average paid rate isn't quite promising at 5.16/hr. I also saw all the jobs he posted, he barely paid above $4.5

The client requires the following for the freelancer:

Intelligent

Perfect English writing skills

Can research and understand science.

All articles must be backed by studies for references

The client also asks:

A free sample 

All articles must be about fitness, protein synthesis, muscle hypertrophy etc

Work has to be unique and written "in a friendly tone" for a young audience.

And you have to start on Monday.

Maybe Jennifer M would like to try this client 😛

[#23]

Client wants a full stack developer, specifies '$$$ Expert Level -- I am willing to pay higher rates for the most experienced freelancers' then writes, 'the starting hourly wage is between 5$ to 10$/hr' 

There are 74 applicants 

[#24]

This CLIENT?? actually seems to be a freelancer looking for joomla, opencart, wordpress, or magento work.

He wrote,

I am a web developer and admin assist with more than 8years experience. I have never had a single job on this platform so I am out now looking for one to do. I am ready for interview and trial job. Please hire me.

There are 11 'applicants' but 10 were initiated by this 'client'. There's a budget of $20 -- I hope he knows that if he 'hires' one of the applicants, he has to pay them, and not the other way around.

[#25]

John, he doesn't realize he is posting a job listing. He does not know how to use Upwork.
I always flag these types of postings and Upwork seems to take them down quickly,

It is not uncommon to see people looking for jobs posting their CV in the job postings section, fortunately it is easy to spot these, flag them and move on. But, yes, it is annoying.

[#26]

Preston,

That's what I suspected but it's the first time I noticed something like this. Also, the number of 'applicants' caught my eye. And yes, I will flag these from now on.