Crazy Job Postings Part II

[Pandora H]

Most of you already know the drill here, but if not........

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

[Melissa T]

I haven't come across anything too crazy lately. Just the usual "I want 15 pieces of branded collateral, print and web, and a logo (so, a whole identity), and I want to pay $30, budget is firm, do not apply if you cannot accept the rate". Go suck eggs. 

[Pandora H]

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@Melissa T wrote:

I haven't come across anything too crazy lately. Just the usual "I want 15 pieces of branded collateral, print and web, and a logo (so, a whole identity), and I want to pay $30, budget is firm, do not apply if you cannot accept the rate". Go suck eggs. 

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I occasionly get graphic design or writing jobs in my feed (pretty sure beause the client picked the wrong category.) Since they are pretty rare, I often look at them. More times then not, it's those bottom feeding clients wanting cheap, low quality labor.  Makes me really glad I'm not in either profession.

[Virginia F]

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@Melissa T wrote:

I haven't come across anything too crazy lately. Just the usual "I want 15 pieces of branded collateral, print and web, and a logo (so, a whole identity), and I want to pay $30, budget is firm, do not apply if you cannot accept the rate". Go suck eggs. 

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 lol ... haven't heard "suck an egg" in a long time. I think that might be a back east thing.

[Renata S]

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@Virginia F wrote:

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@Melissa T wrote:

I haven't come across anything too crazy lately. Just the usual "I want 15 pieces of branded collateral, print and web, and a logo (so, a whole identity), and I want to pay $30, budget is firm, do not apply if you cannot accept the rate". Go suck eggs. 

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 lol ... haven't heard "suck an egg" in a long time. I think that might be a back east thing.

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Yeah. I'm a transplated West Coaster.  I think the vegan population gets significantly smaller the farther east you travel.  

What's the text message version? GSE or SAE? 

[Nichola L]

And now a Developer progressive pornsite  wanted by a Bulgarian buyer. Well spotted Upwork. What will you do? Allow the client to go underground and only send out private invitations?

The job offer is quite explicit.

[Pandora H]

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@Nichola L wrote:

And now a Developer progressive pornsite  wanted by a Bulgarian buyer. Well spotted Upwork. What will you do? Allow the client to go underground and only send out private invitations?

The job offer is quite explicit.

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Huh...I'm inclined to search for this one, just for the giggle factor.

Update: Found it. No serious verbage violations, but I would have thought this would get snagged. Somebody asleep at the wheel, or lack of training?

[Nichola L]

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@Pandora H wrote:

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@Nichola L wrote:

And now a Developer progressive pornsite  wanted by a Bulgarian buyer. Well spotted Upwork. What will you do? Allow the client to go underground and only send out private invitations?

The job offer is quite explicit.

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Huh...I'm inclined to search for this one, just for the giggle factor.

Update: Found it. No serious verbage violations, but I would have thought this would get snagged. Somebody asleep at the wheel, or lack of training?

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 But I think this one ties in with a freelancer who was worried about signing an NDA for a progressive website . . .

A little while ago Upwork onboarded extra mods for weekend duty - there is precious little evidence of them.

[Jody P]

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@Melissa T wrote:

I haven't come across anything too crazy lately. Just the usual "I want 15 pieces of branded collateral, print and web, and a logo (so, a whole identity), and I want to pay $30, budget is firm, do not apply if you cannot accept the rate". Go suck eggs. 

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Ouch. Sounds more like a fiverr gig to me.

[Virginia F]

Ha. I saw an ad for several 1000  word articles for $2 each. Geez. It would take more than $2 for me to type my name! Then there was the 8000 word romance for $5. Danielle Steele has not been heared from.