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Am I on the right track?

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Ace Contributor
Benjamin P Member Since: Feb 26, 2019
1 of 17

Yesterday, I received some valuable and constructive feedback that my profile, for lack of better words, sucked. 

 

After cracking open a bottle of wine, I began to reflect on the services I knew I was good at that could be offered to clients instead of making the profile about myself as a person.

 

I completely erased that old profile and started from scratch while taking into account all the advice I had been given.  I finally finished my profile and think that I'm finally on the right track and that's what has brought me to this post so that I can get some more feedback to see if I am indeed on the right track. 

 

If anyone has the time to take a look and let me know, it would be greatly appreciated.  Also, I understand that I need to add to my portfolio and that is my next project.  All of the content I've helped create in the past I'm not able to add to my portfolio due to contract agreements.  I'm starting from scratch with a blog to help with portfolio content but the portfolio is a topic for another time.  For now, I want to focus on one thing at a time

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Community Guru
Martina P Member Since: Jul 11, 2018
2 of 17

Soooo much better! One paragraph you have twice in there.

It would be nice if you could back up every bullet point with portfolio pieces, but you said you are working on that. 

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Ace Contributor
Benjamin P Member Since: Feb 26, 2019
3 of 17

Hi Martina,

 

Thanks for the feedback.  With the two paragraphs, I'm guessing you're referring to the copywriting and creative copywriting.  Do you think I should just sum it up into one skill?  I believe that's what you meant by there being two paragraphs being repeated.  I appreciate the response.

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Community Guru
Martina P Member Since: Jul 11, 2018
4 of 17

Benjamin P wrote:

Hi Martina,

 

Thanks for the feedback.  With the two paragraphs, I'm guessing you're referring to the copywriting and creative copywriting.  Do you think I should just sum it up into one skill?  I believe that's what you meant by there being two paragraphs being repeated.  I appreciate the response.


Oh I thought you overlooked that it's repeated. I would definitely change that because it looks like an error.

Otherwise I like how you adress the different areas of expertise, I would keep it that way. 

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Ace Contributor
Benjamin P Member Since: Feb 26, 2019
5 of 17

Martina,

 

In your opinion, do you think I should just combine both the creative copywriting with the copywriting and just make it into two paragraphs?  If not, which paragraph do you think I should get rid of?

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Community Guru
Kholleras I Member Since: Nov 24, 2015
6 of 17

I would re-write the first paragraph and simply state which types of writing you do. Saying that you don't limit yourself and giving an example of what you write is a bit too vague to be useful to clients. Each client comes to your profile looking for something specific, and most of them probably don't care that you do a whole range of things—they want to know whether you can do precisely what they want.

 

If you simply list all the types of writing you do like you've done with the rest of the profile, you wouldn't really even need that first paragraph.

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Ace Contributor
Benjamin P Member Since: Feb 26, 2019
7 of 17

Hi Heaven,

 

Thanks for the input.  If I'm reading your reply correctly, my profile would be better by just eliminating the first paragraph altogether and having it just be the list of services/skills?

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Community Guru
Bill H Member Since: Aug 18, 2017
8 of 17

Benjamin,

 

I looked. You get a three out of five from me on your profile.It's all spelled correctly, the grammar is proper, so maybe that's a 3.5 out of five for Upwork.

 

When I hire online I'm looking for some things that others might not consider. One is use of jargon; I figured out that SERPS aren't residents of the Balkans, but I still don't know what they are. Another is what writers call "dead words," repeated words, including different forms of the same word, too close together. I would expect a writer to be aware of that, and the repeated paragraph was jarring. Or worse.

 

I look for an understanding of business. You're better than most, and hint at results. Actual results would be better.

 

You write well. I'll probably hire you as a beta reader for the next book in line, if you're willing. It's actually about navigating online freelancing for clients and providers (I'm both). Your profile will stand up to a review from someone looking for a writer, which is the important part. Your responses will trigger that if they're as well-written.

 

Good luck

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Ace Contributor
Benjamin P Member Since: Feb 26, 2019
9 of 17

Bill,

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and my profile. Your insight, as well as your suggestions, will be taken and implemented. 

 

I certainly got a laugh out of your "SERPs aren't residents of Balkans" comment.  I did grasp the point to that comment.  SERP stands for search engine results page. Site owners and web designers will use SEO methods so that their site(s) appear at the top of a SERP.  I know understanding the acronym is not in your field and if I have a client who doesn't understand the meaning, then they probably don't need the service.

 

The last paragraph has been completely removed.  Martina had mentioned the same thing in this discussion and my lunch was ready before I had time to remove it. 

 

With the exception of having evidence in a portfolio to support my skills, do you have any other suggestions on how I could move past your rating of three?

 

In relation to your next book that you have in line, I would be very interested in being a beta reader. From what I see, you're a man that has a lot of experience. I admire your sophistication and savoir-faire. I know you're someone I could learn a great deal from and welcome any future communication.

 

Thanks,

 

Ben

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Community Guru
Melanie H Member Since: Nov 2, 2017
10 of 17
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