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This Techno Neanderthal Needs your Help

Active Member
David G Member Since: Jun 19, 2018
11 of 23

First I apologize if this message is strikingly similar to a prior message I left recently.  (I am posting this message because of numerous flaws with the prior message)

 

A guy on here named Heaven gave me apparently good advice, but I want to hear as much constructive criticism as possible.

 

My Question:  Why are so few people interested in my job offer:

THIS IS THE AD:

Job details

  1. **Edited for Community Guidelines**
Posted 20 days ago
 
 
I want to hire someone who can teach me how to

A) Create videos (Yes, I know this is pretty basic);

B)  Help me get the greatest number of hits for these videos; and

C) Teach me how to manage my material on the web sites where these videos are posted

WHAT I AM DOING:  At the risk of sounding grandiose, I want to publicize and disseminate ideas which I think are provocative, deviate dramatically from social and political norms and really delver some punch.  These ideas are expressed in essays I have written.  (Yes, I know the idea of reading essays sounds dull, but keep reading)

Since a constant drumbeat of ideas might be intellectually taxing, I offer a change  of pace  with what might be called "the urbane man's rap."  These are highly rhythmic, rhyming poems which take shots at various sacred cows.  

I am not asking for your advice as to what messages I will convey.  I know exactly what I want to convey; I just don't know how to use the myriad tools of digital persuasion.

WHAT I SEEK IN SOMEONE I MIGHT HIRE:  Above all, I value intelligence and honesty.  Please don't tell me you know how to do something if you don't know how to do it.   Don't be afraid to say that you don't know how to do something; hell, I am a complete and total Neanderthal in this digital world. 

You should be well versed in making videos and the more difficult task of creating a buzz and the excitement which might yield many visits to my sites.  I want to maximize the number of hits my stuff gets. 

Also, please have good communication skills.  I understand things best when they are clearly explained in English.  I am not a visual person. 

To WIN ME OVER:  Give me examples of projects, you came up with or administered, in which a web site, which had only gotten one hundred hits, soon got 500,000 hits.  Okay, maybe half a million is a fanciful dream, but the idea is to push that number up as high as possible
  • Less than 30 hrs/weekHourly
  • 1 to 3 monthsProject Length
  • IntermediateI am looking for a mix of experience and value
  • Project Type:Ongoing project

You will be asked to answer the following questions when submitting a proposal:

  1. Have you taken any Upwork tests and done well on them that you think are relevant to this job?
  2. Do you have any degrees or certifications which might be relevant to this job

Skills and expertiseEnglish Search Engine Optimization (SEO) Website Development

Preferred qualifications
  • Job Success Score: At least 90%
  • Include Rising Talent: Yes
  • English level:  Fluent
  • Upwork hours:  At least 1 hour
  • Location: Eastern Time Zone
Activity on this job
  • Proposals:  Less than 5
  • Last viewed by client:  6 days ago
  • Interviewing: 0
  • Invites sent: 4
  • Unanswered invites: 1

 

 

 

Community Guru
Rene K Member Since: Jul 10, 2014
12 of 23

David G wrote:
 
 
I want to hire someone who can teach me how to

A) Create videos (Yes, I know this is pretty basic);

B)  Help me get the greatest number of hits for these videos; and

C) Teach me how to manage my material on the web sites where these videos are posted

This is where you cut the wall-of-text BS and post your job. Nobody cares if you think you have invented the cure for cancer or poverty. You want people to teach you stuff and that's it. No need to talk about your dreams.

 

And you need two job posts, because you're looking for two different things. You want someone to teach you how to make a video, which is something people who deal with videos know. Then, you need someone to guide you through the marketing steps. A marketing person. These are two different people.

 

Also, if you want people from the US only, for some reason that you only know, and not Canada, the UK, the Netherlands, and if you pay close to nothing, you'll get close to nobody. Not saying this is what you do, just mentioning.

 

 

 

 

-----------
"Where darkness shines like dazzling light"   —William Ashbless
Community Guru
Phyllis G Member Since: Sep 8, 2016
13 of 23

David G wrote:

Dear Phyllis G:

 

I thank you for your wise comments.

 

I fear that there must be many flaws in my ad.  I beseech someone to please tell me what dissaudes people from responding to this ad.  I am tendering a copy of the ad to you.  If this is too much to ask, feel free to ignore this request.  If you do respond, please be blunt and honest in your criticism:

...


It is TOO LONG. I would never even read the whole thing. And I am unlikely to respond to posts that use UW's canned questions. Finally--since you asked for plain talk--your writing style as indicated in the post is somewhat overblown and not easy to read. I would think seriously about investing in an ghostwriter and/or editor, to make sure your content is as accessible as it can be, before worrying too much about promoting it.

 

(Also, you don't need to keep pasting it into replies to various people here. Everyone can see the whole thread.)

Community Guru
John K Member Since: Feb 17, 2015
14 of 23

Heaven H wrote:

I would avoid the term "guru." Some people associate it with cheap, demanding clients. "Expert" is a good alternative.

 


Being a community guru, I'd have to disagree. Besides, in software development and system administration, the term guru has a long history, unlike pop references like ninja and rockstar, but that's not to say there's anything wrong with expert.

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce
Community Guru
Preston H Member Since: Nov 24, 2014
15 of 23

re: "guru"

 

For me, a key factor in whether this would make me consider applying to a job post with this word in the title...

 

...is whether the client is actually looking for a consultant, or somebody to do some hands-on work.

 

I think "guru" is quite appropriate as a word to describe somebody who you want to hire just to talk to and provide guidance.

Active Member
David G Member Since: Jun 19, 2018
16 of 23

TO: Heaven H

Thank you for your help.  I don't want to impose, and if this is too much to ask you can just ignore this, but I was wondering if you could look at the whole of my ad and if you would be so kind as to tell me what is wrong with it.  I am trying to post my ad in this response.  Some of it might not appear because of formatting problems, etc.  

 

This is the ad (Please don't worry about offending me; I want the truth):

 

Job details

 

**Edited for Community Guidelines**

 
 
I want to hire someone who can teach me how to

A) Create videos (Yes, I know this is pretty basic);

B)  Help me get the greatest number of hits for these videos; and

C) Teach me how to manage my material on the web sites where these videos are posted

WHAT I AM DOING:  At the risk of sounding grandiose, I want to publicize and disseminate ideas which I think are provocative, deviate dramatically from social and political norms and really delver some punch.  These ideas are expressed in essays I have written.  (Yes, I know the idea of reading essays sounds dull, but keep reading)

Since a constant drumbeat of ideas might be intellectually taxing, I offer a change  of pace  with what might be called "the urbane man's rap."  These are highly rhythmic, rhyming poems which take shots at various sacred cows.  

I am not asking for your advice as to what messages I will convey.  I know exactly what I want to convey; I just don't know how to use the myriad tools of digital persuasion.

WHAT I SEEK IN SOMEONE I MIGHT HIRE:  Above all, I value intelligence and honesty.  Please don't tell me you know how to do something if you don't know how to do it.   Don't be afraid to say that you don't know how to do something; hell, I am a complete and total Neanderthal in this digital world. 

You should be well versed in making videos and the more difficult task of creating a buzz and the excitement which might yield many visits to my sites.  I want to maximize the number of hits my stuff gets. 

Also, please have good communication skills.  I understand things best when they are clearly explained in English.  I am not a visual person. 

To WIN ME OVER:  Give me examples of projects, you came up with or administered, in which a web site, which had only gotten one hundred hits, soon got 500,000 hits.  Okay, maybe half a million is a fanciful dream, but the idea is to push that number up as high as possible
 
  • Less than 30 hrs/weekHourly
  • 1 to 3 monthsProject Length
  • IntermediateI am looking for a mix of experience and value
  • Project Type:Ongoing project

You will be asked to answer the following questions when submitting a proposal:

  1. Have you taken any Upwork tests and done well on them that you think are relevant to this job?
  2. Do you have any degrees or certifications which might be relevant to this job

Skills and expertiseEnglish Search Engine Optimization (SEO) Website Development

Preferred qualifications
  • Job Success Score: At least 90%
  • Include Rising Talent: Yes
  • English level:  Fluent
  • Upwork hours:  At least 1 hour
  • Location: Eastern Time Zone
Activity on this job
  • Proposals:  Less than 5
  • Last viewed by client:  19 hours ago
  • Interviewing: 0
  • Invites sent: 4
  • Unanswered invites: 1

 

Community Guru
Preston H Member Since: Nov 24, 2014
17 of 23

re: "I want to hire someone who can teach me how to

A) Create videos

B) Help me get the greatest number of hits for these videos; and

C) Teach me how to manage my material on the web sites where these videos are posted"

 

David:
Why did you post one job posting for 3 different jobs?

 

It looks like you should be hiring multiple people.

Active Member
David G Member Since: Jun 19, 2018
18 of 23

I will divide the ad into its components.  Good advice. 

Community Guru
Martina P Member Since: Jul 11, 2018
19 of 23

By restricting your job to US only you miss out on thousands of talented people. 

But aside from that, the posting is too long, rambling, and the skill sets require more than one person. Hire consultants on an hourly basis, they will discuss with you for as long as you like. 

Community Guru
Wendy C Member Since: Aug 24, 2015
20 of 23

David,  adding on to Martina's comment ... some of the highest skilled video folk are in Eastern Europe, their English is excellent, and they don't charge LA or NYC prices.  

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