Crazy Job Postings

[#1]

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

Here's something I saw tonight:

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

One word: Sheesh!

[#2]

i want to do this job..

[#3]

What are your monthly expenses?

[#4]

Not an actual word, and not much incentive to be positive!

* Positiveness - I only work with positive people, sorry world haters! I will pay $1.5 per hour

[#5]

I would actually accept a job that paid $1.50 per hour to be positive. As long as I didn't have to do anything else.

For only $1.00 per hour you can hire me to be negative.

[#6]

On the same line... I could accept $0.5 per hour to be apathetic. Or even less. I don't care 😉

[#7]

I wonder who he got though? I don't think, what with one thing and another, that many of the $1.50 an hour workers are feeling too positive at the moment!

[#8]

How long would you actually keep that job Preston?

[#9]

What do you take per hour to be positive? Can I hire you for $1?

(I see in your profile your price per hour is $20)

[#10]

I would have wasted some of my credits to reply back "I positively decline your offer! :)" and I would have sent him a counter offer of $100 an hour that I would positively accept.

[#11]

The ones I love data entry huge amount of work, Budget $10 and all 5 star feedback. I would never do 200,000 some entries for $10. but to each his own I guess

Pandora, actually there are a lot of people who would jump at the job you posted at $6 an hour. That is a lot of money in some places including here in the US.

[#12]

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@Suzanne N wrote:

The ones I love data entry huge amount of work, Budget $10 and all 5 star feedback. I would never do 200,000 some entries for $10. but to each his own I guess

Pandora, actually there are a lot of people who would jump at the job you posted at $6 an hour. That is a lot of money in some places including here in the US.

---

Well sure, I get that. But no one person is going to know all of that. That was my point. I mean, if they are willing to train, that's cool. Again, not a detail on the job post.

I posted this because it's an example of:

A job post with a huge list of tasks and lackig in appropriate data regarding fullfulment

A job post with some advanced skills (InfusionSoft, Bookeeping)

A job post made by a client who has not ever paid for hourly work

So maybe some folks see this as an opportunity, but I would never in a million years want this job unless they paid me way more then $6 and let me manage a team. Thats just me though.

[#13]

Received invite:

"I wanted to know how can I designed and logo?"

That's it. Nothing more. 

Why was this allowed to be posted at all? And stop sending me this $#@!. 

[#14]

Simply answer:

Well you couldn't have because the first part of your sentence was in past tense, then you switched to present tense, inquiring about the future, then implied that you already design(ed) the logo which would be a physical impossibilty in this dimension. besides the fact that you say you have no recollection of having done so, or in your case, having didded so.

My advice is that you never can did anymore designing the logo!

Just tell him that.

[#15]

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@Pandora H wrote:

---

@Suzanne N wrote:

The ones I love data entry huge amount of work, Budget $10 and all 5 star feedback. I would never do 200,000 some entries for $10. but to each his own I guess

Pandora, actually there are a lot of people who would jump at the job you posted at $6 an hour. That is a lot of money in some places including here in the US.

---

Well sure, I get that. But no one person is going to know all of that. That was my point. I mean, if they are willing to train, that's cool. Again, not a detail on the job post. 

Actually, I know all of that. I know several other people who do, as well. But (and I'm sure this was part of your point), that's roughly 11% of my regular hourly rate. It's very unlikely that anyone who has been in the business world long enough to develop such a diverse skill set is going to be willing to work at those rates.

[#16]

Lol - I got the thousandth (and one) kudos on the most popular thread in the forum  - She patted her chest and reached for her glasses and inhaler - does she care what happens on the morrow? - not a lot . . . 

[#17]

There was this guy that was needing 40 hours a week, asking full-time job and the payment was $7 for all the job done.

[#18]

 I came across a client, the post was about collecting 100 leads from a website and the same to be filled in Excel. All for 3 USD and a 5 star feedback assurance. .

My brother was very eager to take that job as he didn't even manage to get his first job. I told him not to touch that. But he was very adamant to do it. He applied and got the job.

The client explains like this on Skype.

Client: Hi! This is the URL of London area, fill all the names, addresses, numbers and emails in the spreadsheet.

My brother: Ok.

Client: Once you are done with it, let me know, I will give you other locations. we don't have much time, I have nearly 60 locations to complete.

My Brother: Thank you, sir. What would be the payment for additional locations?

Client: additional? what additional?

Brother: the extra locations.

Client: didn't you read the post properly? we agreed for 3 USD

Brother: all for 3 USD? totally? 3x60 = 180 USD or just 3 USD?

Client: 3 USD.

Brother: ........

Client: can you do it???

Brother: (after calculating) sir, the total project may take nearly 120 hours. that is more than a couple of weeks' work. All these for just 3 USD?

Client: not just 3 USD, you don't have any feedback, I will give you 5 star feedback.

Brother:.............

Client: ?????

My brother blocked the client in frustration.

I was like what the heck..

I am not making this up. This is a true incident happened a week ago.

This is the craziest client I have ever seen.. never want to see one again..

[#19]

LOL. All in a day's   (attempt to get a)    job !!!

[#20]

I think that client is not the only one.
I think there's a whole lot of them lurking and preying on those newbies.

[#21]

See the attached pic for my contribution to this thread.

*EDIT*:

I stupidly forgot about community guidelines (and the warning from the OP!) Something must be wrong with my brain this week. Anyway, the job description went like this (hope this is allowed):

"S#xy bi*ch needed to proofread 200 word document."

[Unverified client, and my favourite part was that someone was hired!]

[#22]

Lol Isabelle -and the funniest thing is someone was actually hired as a s..y b...h?

[#23]

I thought that was the best part 

[#24]

I changed my profile pic to a picture of a supermodel and got the job. Boy were they surprised when i showed up ahahah!

[#25]

ha ha ha ha that's funny