Fun Daily Jokes

[virtualbrix]

This is going to be a thread where we can all put up fun daily jokes to keep our sense of humor going : )

[virtualbrix]

Feel Free to post, I will put the first few for today!

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Freelancing = I tried to make money freelancing ...but it didn't work out ...I guess I shouldn't have given out the lances for free!....it was a bad business model

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Why don't ants get sick?

Because they have little antybodies.

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What do you call a lion who is feeling dandy?

A Dandelion.

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What is the best way to criticize your boss?

Very quietly, so he cannot hear you.

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My boss asked me how good I was at making spreadsheets.

I told him I Excel at it.

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Boss: How is it that you are always sick on weekdays?

Me: It’s my weekend immune system.

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I sold my vacuum the other day.

All it was doing was collecting dust.

[virtualbrix]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

[virtualbrix]

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

“Supplies.”

[c109288b]

Hello, Samer. However you have time to post thse funny articles, why don't you reply to me?

[virtualbrix]

Let me know what you need?

[rafikdz]

[virtualbrix]

Ha!

[0c44d8f2]

Crazy😂

[virtualbrix]

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!

[virtualbrix]

What did the microwave say to the other microwave?
Is it just me? Or is it really hot in here?

[virtualbrix]

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9

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What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past.

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Which is faster? Hot or cold?
Hot. You can easily catch a cold.

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Why can't you trust an atom?
They make up everything.

[virtualbrix]

How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words!

[virtualbrix]

What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow!

[virtualbrix]

What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!

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How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut!

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What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!

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How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!

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What is a computer's favorite snack?
Computer chips!!

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What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

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Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
Because she will let it go.

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Why do shrimp never share?
They're so shellfish.

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What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.

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What do you call two bananas?
Slippers.

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How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.

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Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.

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Why was the computer cold?
It left its window open!

[virtualbrix]

Why was the computer cold?
It had a virus.

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Why didn’t the orange win the race?
It ran out of juice.

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Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet.