David,
OK, finally, a full-blown consultant who knows what the heck it is to be a consultant with a specific set of skills and predictable benefits you can foresee your clients gaining. A real consultant. I didn't know they existed anymore.
So, your write up is excellent, but could use some improvements. This is Upwork. You get pretty wordy, especially towards the end. And, then, the opening line could use some help, as well.
What do I mean? Simple. I think your opening line should be more down to Earth. You thrive on jargon and actually skim along the edge of that very well, but jargon is jargon. Can you get the opening to be more, "I'm an expert _________ who can help you streamline operations." Something simple?
Then, you have some places that are just too wordy. I count one sentence that's 43 words long. That's kind of a tell ... is that sentence really necessary?
Where I think you could just slash and burn starts here: "My breadth of leadership, management, development and automation experience are a unique combination that allow me to not just solve the problem at hand, but to do so in a manner that scales without requiring a team of programmers to keep things running. (43 words, right there.) I am more than a developer and more than a leader. I am an entrepreneurial consultant with the a wealth of experience at my disposal across the entire organization."
I can re-write that in 20 words. "As an accomplished business expert, I can streamline simple and complex operations indepentently, without a team of programmers that increase your costs." Trade-off: 71 words, now 22 words.
Moreover, that's the paragraph where the solid information turns to fluff. I don't think you need anythng from that paragraph south. "I get enough corporate shennanigans from other channels." Or "I've been married for 25 years and have no idea how it works ..." All unhelpful.
Stick to solid information that people need to make the decision on whom they should hire. "Companies I have worked with have reduced costs 5-20 percent." Or, "I've helped companies reduce work loads by as much as 30 percent." Of course, I'm out of my league, but you get the idea.
One other thing that I saw missing was the names of some of the companies you've helped out. If you don't like giving out names, can you be a bit more specific? "I've helped retail chains, high-tech start ups and mid-to-large manufacturing concerns."
Oh, by the way, excellent introductory video.
And ... oops ... at some point you start talking about "teams." This is up to you, but people likle to know what they are getting for their money and what they are getting into. Maybe you need to explain that a bit more. Who are these teams? Do you hire people to help you or does the company do that? Maybe I'm just a bit stupid here, but it was kind of a curveball for me.
That said, the profile is not where you close the deal. It's only something to help clients decided to talk to you. So, if you wade into stuff too deeply, you risk confusing your clients before it's time. If explaining how teams fit into the scheme of things is too strange, wait. When you get to the discussion stage, you can ease people into that kind of thing.
Good luck.
