Green,
Take your job title out and replace it with "Video Editor."
You don't have to say "Professional." The term "Long Term" is just about meaningless. The word "Course" is unjustifiable. The words "YouTube" can be explained in your write up. The word "Commercial," like "professional" is completely unnecessary.
That leaves you with "Video Editor." That's all you need.
Then, most of your first paragraph is a waste of time. Take out, "Tired of dealing with freelance editors? Hire a freelance-based professional ..."
Why do you need any of that? Answer: You don't.
Start with "I am an expert video editor with 7 + years of experience ..."
That's where you start giving useful information to your clients. Everything else I just pointed out is a waste of their time.
You then write, "My name is Green." That is also a waste of time. Your name is already in big, bold letters on top of your profile. You don't need to tell people your name twice.
Then you write, "with over 7 years experience, I am an expert video editor who has a passion .."
All that is unnecessary. You already said you have 7 years experience. You don't need to say you're a video editor again. You don't need to say you have a passion for the work. If you've been doing this for 7 years, it is assumed you have some kind of passion for the work. You can say you are passionate at the bottom of the profile. It is nice to say, but it isn't that important.
Don't say "We'll create a masterpiece." Be a professional. Professionals know what they can do and can't do. Tell them, "I can get a solid production to you on time." That's what you can do. I doubt you really produce masterpieces. That's a fairly outlandish thing to say.
Why does any of this matter? If you write things twice in a short paragraph you do not look very professional. If you waste people's time writing things they already know or don't need to know, you are wasting their time.
To be a professional, you have to act and look like a professional. That's why this matters. Don't say, "Let's create a masterpiece." That's unprofessional. Give them the straight information without frills. "I can get a very respectable, professionally edited video for you, delivered on time." That's what you can do. Don't pretend you can make miracles when you know you can't.
Just be yourself and tell the truth. If you need ideas, find other video editor profiles and read them. Do some research. Get some ideas that way.
Good luck.
