Crazy Job Postings Part II

[pandoraharper]

Most of you already know the drill here, but if not........

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

[mthornton-cpc]

---

@Renata S wrote:

---

1) I'm intrigued by it too, since seeing the series. I'm in Montreal and there's a Hasidic community here that lives in an area of town that's now gone trendoid. So a bit of a weird cultural collision is happening there. Although I have met a Hasic grandmother who's an absolute hoot, I don't know that much about the community. When you encounter anyone from that community, they don't really interact. I once rescued some little kid's ball when it rolled into the middle of the street because I had a feeling he'd run after it. He was about 3, maybe. and I just told him to stay where he was while I ran to get it in the middle of the street. His mom, who saw the whole thing, didn't say one word to me. 

2) Melissa, I can't tell you how I know that, but when I started to think about how random the stuff I'm getting is, the hybrid unintelligence theory completely took hold of my brain. Those referrals are way too insane to be the result of any sort of normal unassisted human unintelligence. 

---

I spent last weekend in Montreal! I hadn't been there before. Spent a lot of time in Plateau Mont Royal (and climbed all the stairs to the Chalet at the top of the hill), but definitely went through Mile End and felt the Jewish influences there... and the hipster ones. Ate at Beautys, which was great. I have similar experiences to your young boy/ball/silent mom scenario all the time in Brooklyn. A lot of it is the insular nature of a community which is taught that everyone else is "other", that they themselves are "other", and it's a bit of an oil and water situation where the 2 entities can be in the same space, but never mix. Back to Montreal for a moment: I absolutely adored the Citeé Mémoire I got to see projected at the Palais de Justice. I really love how the city embraces public art. To that end, the El Mac piece painted on a bldg on rue de Bellechase called La Mère Créatrice is stunning. I made a special excursion to see it because I adore his work. I was lucky enough to eat at Robin Square (they introduced me to pouding choômeur which I'd never tried before and put a sparkler in it for my birthday, which was adorable), Au Pied de Cochon, and Au Festin de Babette which were all wonderful and made me truly appreciate Montreal as a food city. 

My husband is working on some AI stuff and it's fascinating. Every time I think I'm comfortable with technology he tells me some new thing he's doing and I get completely freaked out all over again! 

[renata101]

---

@Melissa T wrote:

---

I really love how the city embraces public art. To that end, the El Mac piece painted on a bldg on rue de Bellechase called La Mère Créatrice is stunning. I made a special excursion to see it because I adore his work. I was lucky enough to eat at Robin Square (they introduced me to pouding choômeur which I'd never tried before and put a sparkler in it for my birthday, which was adorable), Au Pied de Cochon, and Au Festin de Babette which were all wonderful and made me truly appreciate Montreal as a food city. 

My husband is working on some AI stuff and it's fascinating. Every time I think I'm comfortable with technology he tells me some new thing he's doing and I get completely freaked out all over again! 

---

Too funny. I could have run you over on my bike if a Montreal road crew hadn't run it over a few weeks ago. I live about two blocks from La Mère Créatrice -- it just floors me when I walk by it. Such an amazing piece. I'm glad you had such a good time here. It's a city with a really amazing vibe. But really horrific winters. (Maybe that accounts for the vibe -- we're all just so pleasantly surprised to still be alive).

The AI stuff is just freaky. Although there are so many potentially cool things you can produce with all of these new techniques. I edit for someone who does a lot of whacky medical applications. I like it that he's out there figuring all this stuff out.  

[mthornton-cpc]

Ahhh, Renata, I wish I'd known, I would have insisted (like a typical American) that we meet up for coffee or whatnot. We were in your hood on Sunday when it was raining like mad. Totally worth it to see El Mac's work, though. We stuffed ourselves at Poutine Centrale. 

[renata101]

---

@Melissa T wrote:

Ahhh, Renata, I wish I'd known, I would have insisted (like a typical American) that we meet up for coffee or whatnot. We were in your hood on Sunday when it was raining like mad. Totally worth it to see El Mac's work, though. We stuffed ourselves at Poutine Centrale. 

---

I think you'd just pass for a typical Montrealer for insisting on coffee. I might not have been able to make it though. First my phone/Internet went (turned out to be a bad jack), then I was busy bailing. I live in a building that's probably circa 1900. I'm not sure if it was the rain but my bathtub started filling of its own accord. 

[mthornton-cpc]

That rain was impressively constant. I hope you got your flood sorted. 

[pandoraharper]

---

@Janean L wrote:

One of my best friends is ex-Amish. (She is featured on the PBS series about leaving the Amish.) In addition, I was raised in an area where there are many Amish and Mennonite families. I happen to be fairly familiar with the culture -- about as familiar as a non-Amish can be, without being married to an ex-Amish or being a scholar.

The Amish are discouraged from reading fiction of any sort. Romance books would be considerd to be a waste of time.

Amish romance novels are definitely a "thing," however. The target audience is an older group of females who are looking for "Little House on the Prairie"-style books with a dash more adult content, but definitely rated no more than PG. The typical request is for "sweet Amish romance writing."

---

Wow many thanks for sharing that. I actually thought Amish would be really ANTI-fiction across the board, but apparently I was mistaken (or outdated, heh).

I totally get your "Little House on the Prairie" reference, as I grew up reading those. And little else, because orthadox - think uber conservative, right wing Quiverfull families. was my life until I was 13. Most certainly, that degree of "realism" might be why this genre has gained traction in recent years.

I've read up on the Amish, and watched some documenteries (maybe I've seen the one you mentioned, even). Some parts of their lifestyle are fascinating and quite contemporary, and others are still firmly rooted in the 14th century, mores the pity.

[jmlaidlaw]

---

@Pandora H wrote:

---

---

Wow many thanks for sharing that. I actually thought Amish would be really ANTI-fiction across the board, but apparently I was mistaken (or outdated, heh).

 __

___Pandora --The Amish ARE mostly anti-fiction. The "sweet Amish romance novels" are written by those outside the community. Note especially that Amish children go to school only through the 8th grade. My friend graduated from Smith College, but only because of her own exceptional nature, intelligence, and perseverance. She also did this as an "Ada Comstock Scholar" (older matriculant), and did not earn her degree until she was in her fourth decade of life.  The Amish themselves most definitely do NOT produce authors.

________________________________________________________________________________________

[renata101]

---

@Janean L wrote:

One of my best friends is ex-Amish. (She is featured on the PBS series about leaving the Amish.) In addition, I was raised in an area where there are many Amish and Mennonite families. I happen to be fairly familiar with the culture -- about as familiar as a non-Amish can be, without being married to an ex-Amish or being a scholar.

The Amish are discouraged from reading fiction of any sort. Romance books would be considerd to be a waste of time.

Amish romance novels are definitely a "thing," however. The target audience is an older group of females who are looking for "Little House on the Prairie"-style books with a dash more adult content, but definitely rated no more than PG. The typical request is for "sweet Amish romance writing."

---

I saw this series, and I had to watch the whole thing back to back because I couldn't wrap my head around what it would be like to be exiled from your home community for essentially wanting to explore the outside world.

Thanks for clearing up the niche publishing mystery. I was wondering if it was something along those lines.

[martina_plaschka]

a completely unrelated addition to the Amish discussion: had a client who wanted proofreading of a number of German translations to determine the best translater. I got 4 files, named by the name of the translater. One was named Enus, and I told him, sorry, but Enus's file in in English, not translated. 

He then advised me that Enus was the original text, and meant EnglishUS version. 

And I thought, well, it might be an Amish name?

But then, how would Enus have written the text anyways....so, ash on my head, as we say here, this one is on me!

[melaniekhenson]

---

@Renata S wrote:

Has anyone ever heard of the "Christian and Amish romance genre"? I didn't realize this was a niche in niche publishing.

---

 OMG, I could do so much with this right now.

Just. So. Much.

But I'm worried it might not be forum TOS-compliant.

Oh we could just have a field day playing the "Add a Sentence" game with this idea.

[pandoraharper]

---

@Melanie H wrote:

---

@Renata S wrote:

Has anyone ever heard of the "Christian and Amish romance genre"? I didn't realize this was a niche in niche publishing.

---

 OMG, I could do so much with this right now.

Just. So. Much.

But I'm worried it might not be forum TOS-compliant.

Oh we could just have a field day playing the "Add a Sentence" game with this idea.

---

 We had quite a field day with that one 🙂

[melaniekhenson]

---

@Pandora H wrote:

---

@Melanie H wrote:

---

@Renata S wrote:

Has anyone ever heard of the "Christian and Amish romance genre"? I didn't realize this was a niche in niche publishing.

---

 OMG, I could do so much with this right now.

Just. So. Much.

But I'm worried it might not be forum TOS-compliant.

Oh we could just have a field day playing the "Add a Sentence" game with this idea.

---

 We had quite a field day with that one 🙂

---

 Going back to reread! 

[jcullinan]

So there's a job posted asking a freelancer to replace the fonts in bank statements so the client can cut and paste the content, because they don't have the font the bank uses. Either this is the laziest client ever or they're trying to clumsily forge bank documents.

[mthornton-cpc]

---

@Jess C wrote:

So there's a job posted asking a freelancer to replace the fonts in bank statements so the client can cut and paste the content, because they don't have the font the bank uses. Either this is the laziest client ever or they're trying to clumsily forge bank documents.

---

Whoa. I mean, just whoa. Who takes jobs like that? Oh, wait.  

[pandoraharper]

---

@Jess C wrote:

So there's a job posted asking a freelancer to replace the fonts in bank statements so the client can cut and paste the content, because they don't have the font the bank uses. Either this is the laziest client ever or they're trying to clumsily forge bank documents.

---

 I would not touch that one for all the gold in...uh..anywhere.

[mthornton-cpc]

---

@Pandora H wrote:

 I would not touch that one for all the gold in...uh..anywhere.

---

Interesting Au tidbit: I recently saw a documentary that showed potential future mining of gold from bamboo forests because their roots go so deep that they reach gold in the soil... so their leaves have teensy gold specks. It would take a whole lot of bamboo to get a decent amount of gold, but I thought that was fascinating. 

[pandoraharper]

---

@Melissa T wrote:

---

@Pandora H wrote:

 I would not touch that one for all the gold in...uh..anywhere.

---

Interesting Au tidbit: I recently saw a documentary that showed potential future mining of gold from bamboo forests because their roots go so deep that they reach gold in the soil... so their leaves have teensy gold specks. It would take a whole lot of bamboo to get a decent amount of gold, but I thought that was fascinating. 

---

Gosh. don't tell that to the many US Corp's who seem bent on destroying any speck of green on the planet

And uh, on a totally related note, I saw a short documentary about someone in the US who has figured out a way to harvest gold from human waste. (and it was more gold then you describe above, oddly enough),

[renata101]

---

@Pandora H wrote:

---

@Melissa T wrote:

---

@Pandora H wrote:

 I would not touch that one for all the gold in...uh..anywhere.

---

Interesting Au tidbit: I recently saw a documentary that showed potential future mining of gold from bamboo forests because their roots go so deep that they reach gold in the soil... so their leaves have teensy gold specks. It would take a whole lot of bamboo to get a decent amount of gold, but I thought that was fascinating. 

---

Gosh. don't tell that to the many US Corp's who seem bent on destroying any speck of green on the planet

And uh, on a totally related note, I saw a short documentary about someone in the US who has figured out a way to harvest gold from human waste. (and it was more gold then you describe above, oddly enough),

---

 This all sounds like some kind of weird technological fairy tale. 

[mthornton-cpc]

Pandora, I saw that one, too!! 

[pandoraharper]

---

@Melissa T wrote:

Pandora, I saw that one, too!! 

---

Did you see a teaser for that before hand? I did (I think this was Netflix, btw), and went "no fracking way!"

[mthornton-cpc]

Pandora, you and I have simliar taste in Netflix. LOL Do you also like British period dramas? 

[renata101]

---

@Melissa T wrote:

Pandora, you and I have simliar taste in Netflix. LOL Do you also like British period dramas? 

---

@Melissa: A little off topic but I get the sense you'd probably like QI with Stephen Fry. I think it's still available on Netflix.

[mthornton-cpc]

I adore Mr. Fry and will search for it forthwith. 

Hooey! (that was a good one)

[pandoraharper]

---

@Melissa T wrote:

Pandora, you and I have simliar taste in Netflix. LOL Do you also like British period dramas? 

---

LOL. I am not sure, actually. I certainly like SOME british comedy. If you mean things like herm...Crime things aka Jack the Ripper period, then my reaction would be meh. Seen a few of those shows and was not super entertained.

I'm actually REALLY hard to impress. Not mainstream at all, and am pretty eclectic in my tastes...I mean seriously, what the hell was I watching that included something about that gold thing we discusesd earlier today, heh.

Heck, I like a Bolloywood movie now and again, but usually get a headache because of the high pitch of the singing/music about half-way in.

Finally, because I was out of work (and some other personal issues), my Netflix account is on hold. I am however, thinking of re-opening it so I can watch on my computer, and stop paying for an online game I haven't had much time to play.

So if you want to recommend, over to this thread (cause you never know who might be lurking!) Heh:  https://community.upwork.com/t5/Coffee-Break/Netflix-Central-What-are-you-watching/m-p/246064/highli...

[ravi_iitian]

How desperate can people be?

Proposals: 20 to 50