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pandoraharper
Member

Crazy Job Postings

Folks, feel free to share crazy job postings you see. I've been wanting to create a thread like this for a while, and think it would be fun of we can keep it updated periodically.

 

Warning: Do not copy paste a job description, do not include a link to the post, or client details. Keep it within forum post guidlines!

 

Not sure what those guidelines are? Go here: https://community.upwork.com/t5/Announcements/Upwork-Community-Guidelines/td-p/3/jump-to/first-unrea...

 

Here's something I saw tonight:

 

US client, average pay under $6 per hour, no hourly hires so far, decent feedback, looking for 1 person to do:

 

Article Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading

Customer Service (Phone and Email)

Business Growth & Development

Blog Posting

Stand Operating Procedures Creation and Documentation

Online Research

Social Media Management

Event planning and scheduling

 

And finally: "Knowlege of WordPress Development, Facebook Ads, InfusionSoft, Bookkeeping, etc. a PLUS "

 

No mention in this posting if some of these items would be handled by other members of the team.

 

One word: Sheesh!

 

 

 

ACCEPTED SOLUTION
andregutierrez22
Moderator
Moderator

Hi all,

 

We are closing this thread due to its size. Feel free to visit this new thread if you'd like to continue sharing your experience with odd and curious jobs.

 

We encourage you to have fun and discuss your experience. That said, please be mindful of our Community Guidelines and refrain from posting links to job postings, names of persons or companies, or any other identifying information. Additionally, if you come across a job that violates Upwork TOS, please flag it as inappropriate following the steps outlined here.

 

~Andrea
Upwork

View solution in original post

2,171 REPLIES 2,171
pandoraharper
Member

Not Verbatim, but I've tried to keep their point across.

QA and Project Management Job $3.00 an hour - (Eeesh)


Client, whose average pay is $9.xx an hour, wants to hire an EXPERT for $3.00 an hour. For up to 40 hours a week. This job was listed in the Personal / Virtual Assistant cat, which isn't appropriate

This line from the job details somewhat contradicts the job title:
"QA Tester & Project Management $80/week 40hours/week"

The rest of the job description reads as if they were addressing a 10 year old in India.

US Company, 45 total hires, around since 2013

49 minutes after being posted, 0 bids (what a shock)

re: "49 minutes after being posted, 0 bids (what a shock)"

 

We should all treat this as good news.

 

Upwork contractors are learning to not bid on ridiculous jobs.

 

(Unless the reason there are no bids is that Upwork is experiencing bugs that prevent bids from showing up on job postings...)


@Preston H wrote:

re: "49 minutes after being posted, 0 bids (what a shock)"

 

We should all treat this as good news.

 

Upwork contractors are learning to not bid on ridiculous jobs.

 

(Unless the reason there are no bids is that Upwork is experiencing bugs that prevent bids from showing up on job postings...)


I'm coming clean..I had no idea about this bug regarding proposals until a good 30 min after I posted this reply. I suspect that would be the reason for the lack of proposals.

That's a shocker. Not even the robo-bidders are bothering with that one.

kingcarlton
Member

Job posted a few hours ago -

 

"Story must have no spelling or gramer errors"

"i hope were clear on that"

"a small depossit to start if"

"NATIVE ENGLISH WRTTERS ONLY"

 

Is this buyer seriously going to spot the errors he warns against, or maybe he'll hire an EDDTRO next.



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
CROM, MAKE ME STRONGER!

Job offering to pay peanuts...with the promise of loads of ongoing work and excellent feedback. (sorry, feedback doesn't pay the bills)

This one is not really about a crazy job post. The job post itself is quite clear.

 

Needed: VA residing in (city specified, U.S.A.) who is able to work some hours at the office (goes on to list the expected duties).

 

Applicants:: 3...one from Bangladesh and two from the Philippines. 

 

 


@Irene B wrote:

This one is not really about a crazy job post. The job post itself is quite clear.

 

Needed: VA residing in (city specified, U.S.A.) who is able to work some hours at the office (goes on to list the expected duties).

 

Applicants:: 3...one from Bangladesh and two from the Philippines. 

 

 


 <laughs>

Well, if they're willing to make the daily commute... Sure, why not?

i am still having fun watching job posting require extra super transformer batman for a fixed rate with undefined list of todos, simply stating that the list of work will be sent later, and for a budget that is less than buying a one pair of huggies for that super hero.

"Mentally melting down hear the sound of the same old sound going round" Stuck Mojo
noirre
Member

This just popped on to my job feed:

 

"PLEASE NOTE: This job pays a flat hourly rate of $2.00 (+ oDesk fee). We will not consider higher bids"

 

They also require freelancers to commit at least 30 hours a week and strongly prefer candidates that have no other jobs (because 60$ a week is just that awesome). "The more hours you put in, the more money you make, and the more we will value and reward you as an employee." They also require (among other things) Excellent English writing skills, Superior English grammar and punctuation skills, someone with a very fast and reliable internet connection (prepaid kits not recommended) and a person that is happy! 

 

This from a client that has over 10,000$ spent on the website over 28 previous hires and 11,73$ avarage hourly rate.

 

Woman Indifferent

@Hanna

 

OMG the shame! Bad client, bad! (Picture a really guilty looking dog, and a human with a rolled up newspaper).

 

Not to mean I've used that method on dogs, just saying.

 

Also Hanna, I know your new, so maybe you are not aware that $2.00 an hour is $1.00 less then the legal minimun on Upwork (assuming the client is looking to re-hire someone they have paid that measly fee to before). If you still have that job handy, you could flag it.

 

Finally, that was an awesome, and totally legit way to point out a job post, without running into the TOS regarding posting job descriptions in this thread.

 

*blows off the smoke from a gun recently fired* Way ahead of you Pandora, I flagged it before I posted it here. Woman Wink


@Hanna N wrote:

*blows off the smoke from a gun recently fired* Way ahead of you Pandora, I flagged it before I posted it here. Woman Wink


 Welllllll then! You seem to be picking up things pretty quick, Hanna. Cool beans and all that fun stuff ๐Ÿ™‚

Haha, let's just say that all the scam jobs I have been invited to have shown me the scaled underbelly of UpWork and I don't plan to scratch it with anything less than a sharp stick. Woman Tongue

"a person that is happy!"
 

Yeah, good luck finding one of those on Upwork at the moment...

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.โ€• George Orwell
noirre
Member

I found another one that's pretty horrible, though if we want to give the client the benefit of the doubt, he might not have known the magnitude of the task he was hiring for.

 

This guy would like someone to download four Kindle book samples and translate for him what the headers of the books' chapters are - basically, the "contents" pages. He has set the budget for 10$.

 

I downloaded the books, and there are a total of 56 pages of headers in them.

 

Considering that the going rate for an actual qualified translator in the target country is 0,11 per word... 

noirre
Member

So just out of curiosity (and to prove a theory I have), I did a search on what kind of jobs have specified a certain country of residence in them. I found this pearl for a whopping payout of 35$ (of course, they are looking for people from the philippines). They need someone to urgently make descriptions of 40-70 words for 2000 products. "Product links from manufacturer will be given so all you need to do is rewrite the descriptions to make it our own. It shouldn't take more than 10 minutes for every product."

 

My typing speed is 65 WPM. If I took this job on, this is what I would earn at the best scenario, where I was constantly typing without a pause:

 

2000 x 40 = 80 000. Rate of pay per word: 0,004375$. Hours used: ~20. Rate of pay per hour: 1,70$.

 

2000 x 70 = 140 000. Rate of pay per word: 0,00025$.  Hours used: ~36. Rate of pay per hour: 0,972$.

 

If I used 10 minutes on every product, that would mean I'd complete 6 descriptions in an hour. 2000 / 6 = 333,33. Hourly rate: 0,105$

 

Why oh why am I not from the Philippines? ๐Ÿ˜ง

 

Writing job posted: Just contact me.

 

(I kid you not)


@Irene B wrote:

Writing job posted: Just contact me.

 

(I kid you not)


I swear, if I saw that, I'd try my darndest to reserch the client, and if they had a website of any kind, I'd use it to contact them and say:

 

I am following the instructions you posted on this Upwork Job (job url). Please visit my Upwork Profile (URL), and if my skill set is of interest please send a private invite and job details. Thank you for your time.

 

No snark, No overt sarcasm, but it's not friendly either.

 

Eh, it's probably a fake job anyways.

I actually had a look at his profile...his feedback to the tons of freelancers he has hired thus far is abysmal! No feedbacks and one, perhaps 2 stars.....could ALL of them been THAT bad? 

Writers - $1 per 650 words - Long term engagement.

 

Among the long list of requirements;

 

After the hire, you will be sent a list of topics which then have to be researched and 40 'facts' found.

 

These have to be sent in for approval and then the article can be written.

 

Oh and the little bit at the bottom....

 

- some changes will be made on this work without prior notice, including the cost of jobs and job descriptions

 

(my underlining)

 

No verified payment method

 

Wonder why the only proposals are from client selected freelancers?

 

He does have one other job on the board paying slightly better - $1 for 600 words

A ten foot barge pole would not be long enough for me to even consider touching that....the rates are bad enough...but that...subject to change without any given notification part...that talks...SCAMMMM

Translation of 1500 word articles to German - price  $5.00 per Article or $ 0.003333 per word. A third of a Cent.

 

And a freelancer with a profile rate of $ 22.22 took it and did it.

 

Lady, what were you thinking..... What WERE you thinking???

 

A friend of mine recently did a 1000 word article for $ 300 - or $ 0.30 per word, also on Upwork, and they added a $ 100 bonus.

 

100 times more (minus bonus) - just think about that for a second...

 

The sheer RANGE of clients is staggering.


@Petra R wrote:

Translation of 1500 word articles to German - price  $5.00 per Article or $ 0.003333 per word. A third of a Cent.

 

And a freelancer with a profile rate of $ 22.22 took it and did it.

 


Maybe the freelancer used google translate? Cat Tongue

__________________________________________________
"No good deed goes unpunished." -- Clare Boothe Luce

----------

John K wrote:

 

Maybe the freelancer used google translate? Cat Tongue

 

---------

 

 

The scary thing is that some companies actually suggest you use it. I had a job offer from a company that wanted they website translated into Finnish and the offer said that the way they work currently is that they have their freelancers use Google Translate and then correct where necessary. I replied to the offer sayin that I would be happy to take the job, but I would prefer to not use Google Translate as it honestly creates more work than it saves because of the vastly different grammar structures of English and Finnish. The company never replied...


@Irene B wrote:

I actually had a look at his profile...his feedback to the tons of freelancers he has hired thus far is abysmal! No feedbacks and one, perhaps 2 stars.....could ALL of them been THAT bad? 


Wow, Irene, that is pretty bad.  I see 3 possible scenarios here:

 

1. The client is totally clueless about how feedback works (trust me those clients are out there).

2. The client is unable to write for whatever reason. Yea, they can type, but write? Apparently not.

3. The client is a horrible client and a nasty human being. (notice this is number 3, because really, I hope it's #1 or 2).

pandoraharper
Member

 

In the last 2 months or so, this one Client in New York, USA has posted several jobs, repeatedly. Under different circumstances I would actually bid on them except......

 

This client also has 78 other jobs open right now. Their hire rate: 25%, and pay: $4.26/hr Avg Hourly. Silver Tier client, belive it or not. Because of this, maybe? Over $50,000 Total Spent. They have been around since Spring of 2012.

 

I have no idea what this client is doing, because he gets bids on these jobs, but nobody worth hiring applies, or so it seems. His job descriptions are decent and detailed. But he doesnt hire, and about once a week or so, the client re-submits the job all over again.

 

Perhaps the really nasty feedback the client received from a freelancer back in July 2015 is scaring all the good freelancers away.

 

I swear, I am sick of this client showing up in my job feeds. I want to just bid on one of his jobs and say "your doing it wrong".  Sheesh.

One job site that I am looking at has a message board on each job where the client can be asked questions about the job before you actually apply and waste credits.

 

This is a really useful feature where the job description is too vague.

 

Still, I wouldn't suggest having it here as it would probably cause some other part of the platform to break

 

 

re: "Still, I wouldn't suggest having it here as it would probably cause some other part of the platform to break"

 

I try not to sneeze while logged onto Upwork because I'm afraid I'll crash their systems.

Yes, I have used that feature to try and clarify some very brief and vague job descriptions. But mostly my questions were ignored, and the job given to a less enquiring freelancer.

 

You also had to be on a piad membership plan to ask questions.

69297078
Member

I'll have the Whine thank you..

 

 

I realize I'm new here at UpWork (2 months) but I can't believe some of ridiculous listings I've seen lately. And even worse is that people will bid on some of these.

 

I can't and won't list any specifics (it would get pulled anyway)

 

The one that sent me over the edge allows you to make a whopping $0.66 per item to model and render โ€œthingsโ€ . They have thousands to do, but you're still only making 66 cents per item which even on a good day doing 2 to 3 per hour (that's really being over optimistic since the sample they show and want is photorealistic quality) isn't worth your time.

 

Then there's the listing yesterday โ€ฆ......

Job Description was 3 words long (oops, that probably gave it away right there)

The only thing that gives you any idea what they want is the category it was listed in.

The client has hundreds of previous jobs with a high rating and he writes job descriptions like this?

I suppose I could have submitted a bid just to find out what the job was about and then withdrew the bid within 24 hours ( I think you can do that, right?) but since I was down to my last 2 โ€œconnectsโ€ for the month, I didn't want to risk it.

 

There have been so many more but I'll save those for another Sheeezzz break.

Richard,

 

Welcome to the forum. Unfortunately you are going to see jobs like this. Today I saw one that wanted someone to study and take their real estate exams cause they said they were to busy. They had bids on it. Of course I flagged it as that is against the rules. 

 

If you see any of those that are hourly flag them as asking for free work. 

 

 

...and fraud as well.

noirre
Member

Some is apparently looking for someone to write a book "about credit".

 

The details:

 

"Writer to write what i say"

 

Simple enough!

suznee
Member

Well I got my giggle for the day. Guy posted a job for a 2 Day Fling... But when I read the post it was 2 days of filing... But his Subject said 2 day Fling...

 

 

 Lol......Suzanne , I am sure some folks would prefer a 2 day Fling than a 1 night stand......


@Oreofe J wrote:

 Lol......Suzanne , I am sure some folks would prefer a 2 day Fling than a 1 night stand......


Haha .. I guess I would prefer a 2 day fling over a 1 night stand but I really had a good giggle. He went back and fixed it checking the job again but boy did I have a good giggle. 

Does 2 days qualify for "fling" status? Or is that strictly speaking 2 night stand?

 

I bet the job poster had a good laugh as well!!

Here is a gem: 'I need 38 pages edited....it is about an hour's work.....budget...$10.

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