Crazy Job Postings Part II

[Suzi E]

Funny! Thanks a bunch for the laugh.

Suzi

[Juan C]

$45, 20 pages comic book, 12 hours to complete.  Get it while you can.

[Suzi E]

Gee, I don't know why you're so greedy wanting $45!

Suzi

[Ray C]

The Adventures of Nocturno
Nocturno can only exist in total darkness and has never been seen. The
story begins with Nocturno lurking in total blackness where nothing can be
seen and just black out every panel except for a few dialog boxes. If they
want a story with dialog and captions it's an extra $500.

[Suzi E]

Thank you for the morning laugh!

[Ray C]

Come to think of it I wouldn't even set up 20 pages of black boxes for $45. Then have to listen to the client complain, "The story isn't interesting eno-o-o-u-ugh."

Well, neither is $45.

[Alice M]

I might be a total wet blanket, but job descriptions like this: 

"I need the help of a badass wordsmith creative effin genius to clean up my book manuscript.." 

"If your gig proposal includes any typos, I will kindly respond with a free consulting session to help you find a new career path that works best for you...how can you apply for a book editing gig when your english is horrific and you are careless?"

With questions for the application including - "Name your cheat food", "Describe 3 hacks to sell more books", and "Did you smile at my post or did you shake your head because you take life too seriously?" (paraphrased) 

I've noticed a few book editor ads like this lately, and it makes me think the client will be insufferable to deal with. I don't need 'zany' in my job ads. 

[Jennifer R]

Translate 30K English to German for $100:

"PS: I am looking for only NEW UPWORK FREELANCERS! NEW! ($0 earned freelancers) "

[Martina P]

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Jennifer R wrote:

Translate 30K English to German for $100:

"PS: I am looking for only NEW UPWORK FREELANCERS! NEW! ($0 earned freelancers) "

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Oh yeah, saw that one too! Not exactly a trust-building exercise, that ... 

[Ray C]

Somehow I get the feeling the status of those freelancers won't change
after completing this job. On the bright side, they'll still be eligible
for the next assignment with the same requirements!

Maybe he's writing a German comedy about an inept American president and
this is the dialog the actor who portrays the POTUS will use in the film.
Wonder which president it's about...